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Old 10-18-2013, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,191 posts, read 54,662,203 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree View Post
Yeah, the methodist and unitarian churches have that aspect that attracts me, but the other side of it is that too much acceptance, and the church ends up being meningless. Sometimes you do have to give people a kick in the pants andtell them to stop being lazy, and part of being in a community is willing to do that. Someone who never passes judgement or gives advice is someone who doesn't really care. See my long post on culture, a LOT of young people are refusing to get on with their lives because they're lazy. Having kids when you're 32, or even 38 is just self-indulgent, and this culture needs to be fought against in this aspect
Then bear in mind that if you go prancing forth with a jaundiced eye trying to find a church that has exactly the balance of acceptance vs. discipline that you are looking for, you know damn well and straight up that it's something you aren't going to be able to find and you're setting yourself up to cry boohoo over ALL the bad churches out there.

The various churches are full of ordinary people with good things and warts, JUST LIKE YOU. If you really want to find a church, ask for guidance, as suggested earlier, and then go see what you find, for YOU. It's YOUR spiritual path that YOU are concerned about here--stop worrying about everyone else. If you walk into a church and you know by your intuition it's not the place for you, go somewhere else next week. Lots of us have done this. The denomination may matter due to its core beliefs or POV of what Christianity should be, but in the end the only thing that will matter are a) the souls you will encounter when you enter any given individual parish, and b) how you open your mind and heart to God.
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Old 10-18-2013, 02:23 PM
 
1,392 posts, read 1,772,246 times
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Quote:
Then bear in mind that if you go prancing forth with a jaundiced eye trying to find a church that has exactly the balance of acceptance vs. discipline that you are looking for, you know damn well and straight up that it's something you aren't going to be able to find and you're setting yourself up to cry boohoo over ALL the bad churches out there.
Good point. Then the question is, which do I think is more useful or better? I dunno. I hate the non-acceptance thing, my parents did that to me, but for all the wrong things. If their values weren't so screwed up, maybe being judged for the right things isn't so bad. But there ARE things I think a church should push people to do/be. I dunno.
And yeah, I agree, I don't think there'd be a church out there that would actually understand that there is a balance between aceptance and duty/discipline
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Old 10-18-2013, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,191 posts, read 54,662,203 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree View Post
Good point. Then the question is, which do I think is more useful or better? I dunno. I hate the non-acceptance thing, my parents did that to me, but for all the wrong things. If their values weren't so screwed up, maybe being judged for the right things isn't so bad. But there ARE things I think a church should push people to do/be. I dunno.
And yeah, I agree, I don't think there'd be a church out there that would actually understaxnd that there is a balance between aceptance and duty/discipline
A lot of what you struggle with and more are the same things other people struggle with. Sometimes you can't figure it out and just have to take a risk and see where it leads you. It's better than not moving forward at all, IMO. Life is short and time is easily wasted.
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Old 10-18-2013, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Ocean Shores, WA
5,081 posts, read 12,981,967 times
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You don't have to join a church.

You can join Christian Mingle.com

You don't have to actually believe anything, just learn a few of their words and phrases, and you might actually end up with a Jesus Girl.

Since they are trained to believe wacky stuff, they are easy targets for some hot and holy one nighters.
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Old 10-19-2013, 12:07 AM
 
21,483 posts, read 13,703,795 times
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Are you going to church to worship God or to find a wife?

If you want a Christian wife then join Christian mingle dating site or another dating site for Christians.

Christian Dating for Christian Singles | Join Free @ Christian Mingle
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Old 10-19-2013, 12:09 AM
 
21,483 posts, read 13,703,795 times
Reputation: 5948
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
You don't have to join a church.

You can join Christian Mingle.com

You don't have to actually believe anything, just learn a few of their words and phrases, and you might actually end up with a Jesus Girl.

Since they are trained to believe wacky stuff, they are easy targets for some hot and holy one nighters.
I hope you are wrong Fat Freddy. Geesh.
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Old 10-19-2013, 12:13 AM
 
21,483 posts, read 13,703,795 times
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I went to a demon church once. I found they were single men and married women. Some husbands came with their wives but lots of single men looking for a date. You might find some of the married women want you to meet their friend of sister so it might work out.
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Old 10-19-2013, 04:47 AM
 
8,108 posts, read 7,081,565 times
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I go to a non denominational church which is still under the apostle of a teaching church out of New York some fives states away for legal Ministries to have Reverenced for marriages and the such , but this church is free to proclaim the Gospel through the lead in the Spirit of Christ , and do not have laws of doctrines which are non biblical , were Jesus has the liberty to lead and redirect and to correct and to teach truth with out strange ideas and frails of religion to interfere , with truth from the Spirit of God , as this Church has missions ,......... People are not in a forced congregations , and are free to believe the Gospel by the understanding by the Spirit of Jesus ............ Where most people there have been Baptized in the Holy Spirit , and have witness of Christ on a daily basis............. Even divisions of the Protestant ideas are not proclaimed to the people , by the fear of God that it can attract antichrist spirits...... Still looking for a lifetime mate at church can be iffy as people go to church for Jesus and looking for a mate can lead to disaster for believers sometime ..take care there ....
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Old 10-19-2013, 05:00 AM
 
2,826 posts, read 1,867,882 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree View Post
Thinking of going to church for many reasons. Our culture is falling apart, dating isn't working for me, and I'd at least like to find a wife in my lifetime as opposed to dying alone, etc.

Wouldn't want to back to my old church, which is a near-eastern cultural church (I'm from a certain immigrant minority), because I find their/my parents culture grating and rife with personality disorders, and obsessed with money and materialism. Also, the pastor of the church didn't perform the funeral for this woman who, with her husband, gave their entire LIVES to the church, and did like EVERYTHING for it, just because she talked to a Presbytarian pastor before she died from cancer. The guy didn't do her funeral because of their stupid dogma, the stupid denominational differences.

So I've been thinking going to a non-denominational church. Who would you say these churches are for? Anyone have any experience with them? Apparently there is one or two mega-churches in New Jersey.

Honestly, if there were such a thing as a "agnostic breeder social club" I'd go to that, the concept of family life is important to me, and I look forward to being a Dad one day, and then a Grandad later. But, so far as I know, no such thing or anything close exists, and the only social organizations that (ostensibly) promote family life are churches. The whole religion thig=ng doesn't move me though. Don't get me wrong, I do believe there is a god/higher power, and my beliefs aren't worldly/solely rationalistic. I do believe people need direction, they need instruction to some extent, and that truly held beliefs are always slightly irrational and rightly so, else they wouldn't be clung to, also our culture is in shambles, it's largely egocentric and money-oriented, and these things are why science is over-rated. So is a non-denominational church a good fit for me?
Just so you know, non-denom does not mean "more open" as one might think. Because they are not bound by religious rules, they are actually more extreme than the mainstream. You'd be better off trying Methodist, Episcopal, and Unitarian if you're into something open.
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Old 10-22-2013, 02:01 PM
 
21,483 posts, read 13,703,795 times
Reputation: 5948
Quote:
Originally Posted by janelle144 View Post
I went to a demon church once. I found they were single men and married women. Some husbands came with their wives but lots of single men looking for a date. You might find some of the married women want you to meet their friend of sister so it might work out.
Whoops, I just re-read my post and it looks like I shortened denom to demon. Not want I meant at all, sorry. OMG.
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