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First off....I would suggest that it is her money--and she can do with it what she wants.
Maybe, or maybe not. I keep flipping up/down.
If the money is an impersonal source (like government SS check or pension fund) off from a contractual agreement, that is her money for sure.
But if it involves human interactions, that's a different story. It's just like allowances I received from my parents as a child. Although I was entitled to receive some allowances and that was mine, there were mutually agreed rules to follow---the usage of money should be within reason. Or sometimes, if my behaviors were not right, they would pull off allowances and use it as punishment. Now, my sisters and I, as her care provider, have certain right on the usage of money. So in that sense that's not totally her money.
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Originally Posted by Vizio
Having said that--I would say that based on what you've said, she is giving for a reason that is not Biblical. The idea that we have to give in order to please God or to buy God's blessing is simply not a Biblical concept. If this is what she is being told, her pastor is wrong and is teaching incorrectly.
That's exactly what I'm talking about...
But, having that this... I am always hesitant to judge my parents' faith. For sure, I notice that some components that are not entirely biblical, but that may be a small part and otherwise their relationship with God is exemplary--sadly I'm just far from it. So, that's my dilemma.
Maybe, or maybe not. I keep flipping up/down.
If the money is an impersonal source (like government SS check or pension fund) off from a contractual agreement, that is her money for sure.
But if it involves human interactions, that's a different story. It's just like allowances I received from my parents as a child. Although I was entitled to receive some allowances and that was mine, there were mutually agreed rules to follow---the usage of money should be within reason. Or sometimes, if my behaviors were not right, they would pull off allowances and use it as punishment. Now, my sisters and I, as her care provider, have certain right on the usage of money. So in that sense that's not totally her money.
I would suggest that no--you really don't have a claim to the money. It is not your money. But that's neither here nor there as far as the issue of her giving goes. If she was spending the money anywhere--even, say...at a casino, it's not your right to tell her not to. You may certainly be concerned about it and suggest that maybe there are better uses--but you don't have the right to ownership of the money.
I would suggest that no--you really don't have a claim to the money. It is not your money. But that's neither here nor there as far as the issue of her giving goes. If she was spending the money anywhere--even, say...at a casino, it's not your right to tell her not to. You may certainly be concerned about it and suggest that maybe there are better uses--but you don't have the right to ownership of the money.
Well, I'm not sure if I follow this.
If she spent money at a casino, I have the complete right to say "No, mother, you cannot spend money like that. I will stop financially supporting you if you continue to spend money on those activities."
I said I am responsible for her well-being in every sense, meaning that I am responsible for her housing, meals, clothes, medical bills, etc, without any hesitation--like the same way she raised me up. Also I (and my sisters) can give her some allowances for her social life, but if we don't consider the spending of the allowances reasonable, we can always pull it off and say 'sorry mother we can't support you this way.' I don't see any problem.
If she spent money at a casino, I have the complete right to say "No, mother, you cannot spend money like that. I will stop financially supporting you if you continue to spend money on those activities."
I said I am responsible for her well-being in every sense, meaning that I am responsible for her housing, meals, clothes, medical bills, etc, without any hesitation--like the same way she raised me up. Also I (and my sisters) can give her some allowances for her social life, but if we don't consider the spending of the allowances reasonable, we can always pull it off and say 'sorry mother we can't support you this way.' I don't see any problem.
I am sorry...I completely misunderstood. I didn't realize you were supporting her. I'm sure you said that, but I must have misunderstood. In that event, I do agree--as the one funding her, you have a reasonable expectation to how she spends it.
I am sorry...I completely misunderstood. I didn't realize you were supporting her. I'm sure you said that, but I must have misunderstood. In that event, I do agree--as the one funding her, you have a reasonable expectation to how she spends it.
I wondered about that.^^^
Pastor, do you think if mom gives $300 of her $500 allowance in the offering plate, would you as a pastor consider returning a portion to the daughter without mom knowing? I realize the OP said mom's particular pastor would probably not be open to this. Is this is an ethically viable solution though?
Pastor, do you think if mom gives $300 of her $500 allowance in the offering plate, would you as a pastor consider returning a portion to the daughter without mom knowing? I realize the OP said mom's particular pastor would probably not be open to this. Is this is an ethically viable solution though?
I would not necessarily do it behind her back, but if I knew of the circumstances I'd very likely at least have a sit-down with them to discuss it with her and her family.
Honestly, though--I don't know the giving patters of any of my members. I will admit I know of one older woman that is quite well-off, and I know she has funded various projects. But the rest of our congregation, I honestly have no clue how much they give. I don't handle the money.
her pastor is wrong and is teaching incorrectly. We are not obligated to give.
There is considerable Biblical reference to an obligation to give, but that is a subject for a different discussion.
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