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Old 12-01-2007, 09:20 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,564 posts, read 21,669,686 times
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Most all of you know me, know some of what I believe, know that I was in a very legalistic church for years because I felt it was my duty to keep peace in the family..

I think I would like to start looking for a church again to attend.. I am afraid that is almost impossible without causing my h a lot of pain because he is so tied up in the CofC (I can never go back there)..I have my eye on a small baptist church just about one mile from home..The church my h goes to believes that all other churches are wrong, including the Baptist, .My h knows that I will never go to CoC again, but he thinks I am better off not going anywhere if it is not CofC..He knows some of what my personal beliefs are and doesn't argue with me, except to shake his head in dismay when I tell him that I could probably be able to worship with any other congregations in our community..Ideally, I think a family should attend the same church, but in my case it is impossible..I just would like to be able to go to church now and then to share fellowship with other believers., and to partake of the Lords Supper now and then.I am not asking that you choose a certain church for me to attend..The Holy Spirit will lead me in the decision where I will fit best..I just want some input from my friends here as to should I start attending church and take the consequences from h and other family or should I just continue to stay home? One more thing..I don't think I am losing any faith by not attending Church..My faith is stronger than ever, since I dropped out of the CofC, which shows me that I made the right decision.
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Old 12-01-2007, 09:35 PM
 
1,932 posts, read 4,329,312 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blue62 View Post
Most all of you know me, know some of what I believe, know that I was in a very legalistic church for years because I felt it was my duty to keep peace in the family..

I think I would like to start looking for a church again to attend.. I am afraid that is almost impossible without causing my h a lot of pain because he is so tied up in the CofC (I can never go back there)..I have my eye on a small baptist church just about one mile from home..The church my h goes to believes that all other churches are wrong, including the Baptist, .My h knows that I will never go to CoC again, but he thinks I am better off not going anywhere if it is not CofC..He knows some of what my personal beliefs are and doesn't argue with me, except to shake his head in dismay when I tell him that I could probably be able to worship with any other congregations in our community..Ideally, I think a family should attend the same church, but in my case it is impossible..I just would like to be able to go to church now and then to share fellowship with other believers., and to partake of the Lords Supper now and then.I am not asking that you choose a certain church for me to attend..The Holy Spirit will lead me in the decision where I will fit best..I just want some input from my friends here as to should I start attending church and take the consequences from h and other family or should I just continue to stay home? One more thing..I don't think I am losing any faith by not attending Church..My faith is stronger than ever, since I dropped out of the CofC, which shows me that I made the right decision.
Well, the Lord will lead where He wants you and it's up to you to follow. If you feel you're being lead to attend a church, I would say follow God.

However, I am concerned about how upset your husband would get. How far will he take his insistance that you only attend CoC or stay home? Will he make an unreasonable demand that you only attend another church as long as no one in the family know about it? Will it cause fights or possibly his call for divorce? I know, that may sound extreme, but one never knows... especially this side of cyberspace. You know your husband better than any of us. You know his temperment and how far he's willing to stretch to accommodate you and your faith.

I personally see nothing wrong with you attending a different church than his, based on what you've shared with us. Even if he doesn't see it, you're worshipping the same God. God wouldn't be leading you to this decision if there wasn't a purpose for it.

Hope that helps *sigh*. I'll be praying for wisdom for you in this decision.
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Old 12-01-2007, 09:55 PM
 
Location: The Netherlands
8,567 posts, read 14,777,528 times
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Why do you need approval of others?
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Old 12-01-2007, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Indiana
1,250 posts, read 3,179,773 times
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Blue, I think it is a great idea to be a part of a church. There is so much that it offers and so much that I'm sure you have to offer it. You've been on my mind recently regarding this very subject and I've wondered about your situation. I admire you for growing in your faith even when you were walking alone. I couldn't do it. I need the fellowship of my "family" too much. I know that you have always sounded adament about not attending just to "keep the peace". I think it is a very noble sacrifice for you to make. And at the time you made this sacrifice, it may have been the only option for you to keep your family together. I know that if God is leading you to attend another church, then He will open doors for it to happen. I will pray that the transition goes smoothly and that if any feathers get ruffled, that God's light will shine through the situation and that Truth will be heard.
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Old 12-01-2007, 11:09 PM
 
Location: Anywhere but here!
2,800 posts, read 9,262,476 times
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Blue, if your hubby is truly a man of God, he will not hinder you in your decision. I feel it is important that your husband supports you, but I also feel it is important for you to feel comfortable in attending a church that is to your liking. God will lead you in where to go...I know you already know that.
I don't really see much of a difference between you not attending church and you attending a different church that your husband. He has made his choice and you do not stand in his way; respectfully, he should allow and support you in this same way. You need to do what the Lord is leading you to do.

I may be in the same boat very soon! I just told my husband yesterday that this is my last week at our church. I told him it is his choice whether he stays or joins me, but I am doing what I feel I need to do...likewise, I have asked him to allow our children to choose which one to go to as well. I won't necessarily be changing denominations, just place of worship.

If there is ONE thing that has been preached on in my current church that has actually stuck with me:

"You have to go where God is!"
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Old 12-01-2007, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Anywhere but here!
2,800 posts, read 9,262,476 times
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Hey Blue, I just had a wonderful idea! Why don't you come here next week and we'll go to church together!!!???
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Old 12-01-2007, 11:20 PM
 
Location: The Netherlands
8,567 posts, read 14,777,528 times
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Originally Posted by kawgpz550
Quote:
Blue, if your hubby is truly a man of God, he will not hinder you in your decision.
Ah, I see.
I'm not in a relationship myself so am free to do as I please without having to consider my significant other.
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Old 12-01-2007, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Anywhere but here!
2,800 posts, read 9,262,476 times
Reputation: 1691
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tricky D View Post
Originally Posted by kawgpz550 Ah, I see.
I'm not in a relationship myself so am free to do as I please without having to consider my significant other.
Yeah, there's a big difference when you have "the OTHER half". Sometimes it's a very tough struggle to try to do what you feel led to do and keep peace at the same time.
I don't envy Blue's dilemma at all! The wife is supposed to be submissive to her husband (within reason, please do not go OT and linger on this point. ), but at the same time, whether male or female, we have an obligation and our loyalty needs to be with God. This is a tough choice for Blue to make, but if I know her at all........I have a feeling she will be attending a new church very soon.
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Old 12-02-2007, 12:52 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
8,567 posts, read 14,777,528 times
Reputation: 1573
When it comes to relationships I consider my parents the prime example.
They are 2 captains on 1 ship. Whatever my dad can't handle, my mother will and whatever my mother can't handle, my dad will.
And when they are in a fight, which is not often, it is I who acts as an impartial referee.
As a child I'd ask them questions to try to understand them, which often forced them to reflect on their own actions. But as an adult I not only questioned them but also critiqued them.
But when my father died it all fell apart, because it left a vacuum. My mother is not used to think for herself and always expects me to back her up. This makes being impartial very difficult. Another problem is that my mother believes that I must defer to her seniority, but I never cared about such things. Nor will I ever.
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Old 12-02-2007, 01:29 AM
 
Location: NC
11,918 posts, read 14,113,331 times
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Hi Blue, I know how you feel, having been in the same situation but your husband has to see how unhappy you are. I would pray that God would open his heart and eyes to realize that you need to be in a different place and that you don't need condemnation, but it may take awhile. When I made the move, I did not have a significant other, but when I told members that I no longer attended the congregations as a member, I was met with the the "you should know better" looks, but then I had to remember that I use to think like they did and I also had to realize that this was what I needed to do after much prayer. I would encourage you to continue to pray for wisdom and guidance. God bless you in your decision.
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