witnessing can do more harm than good. (beliefs, praying, Christ)
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The difference with witnessing between strangers and family is that with strangers it is not personal. When I say no to a stranger they accept that and family simply do not take a no for an answer. A refusal becomes a personal blemish on the family, simply because you are expected to do as the rest of the them.
I don't do things I do not believe in cauz it makes me feel a hypocrite.
If they do not wish to understand that they don't have to, but they do have to stop pressurising me into doing the ‘right’ thing.
And now I only see them in the holidays or during funerals, which makes it far more tolerable.
Hopefully, this estrangment won't be a permanent situation as I know what it feels like myself. It is not an easy thing to go through and the longer it goes on, the more the bad blood festers and eventually it completely disintegrates the family unit. It's one thing knocking on doors on those you don't know but it's a whole 'nother ballgame when you're knocking on the family. While it is unfortunate but sadly true, some christians hold themselves up to a different light than they do others and that's not the way it should be.
The difference with witnessing between strangers and family is that with strangers it is not personal. When I say no to a stranger they accept that and family simply do not take a no for an answer. A refusal becomes a personal blemish on the family, simply because you are expected to do as the rest of the them.
I don't do things I do not believe in cauz it makes me feel a hypocrite.
If they do not wish to understand that they don't have to, but they do have to stop pressurising me into doing the ‘right’ thing.
And now I only see them in the holidays or during funerals, which makes it far more tolerable.
So sad but this type of thing probably goes on a lot in this country. In this country there are bibles and books everywhere for anyone that truly wants to hear the word. What most people have a hard time understanding is that you could preach all day long to someone and if the Holy Spirit doesn`t open their eyes to it then it won`t matter. I agree with an earlier post that said you should lead by example. We don`t live in a third world country where there is no christians or bibles around at all. People seem to think they can talk someone into believing. God does the work..if he wants someone at a particular time he will lead that person to you. God will save everyone who is supposed to be saved in this age. He doesn`t need anyone to brow beat someone else or try to talk them into anything. Jesus didn`t go around accosting people. They came to him. Same thing now..the Holy Spirit will draw them. Some so called Christians are just so sure they have the truth and nothing but the truth and they just have to make people believe the way they do, as if they were in charge of getting you saved. We probably wouldn`t like it much if around every corner there was someone of a different religion always trying to get you to believe their way because they are certain they have the truth and they are concerned for your soul. I think we should just try to live a life of happiness,humbleness, and love and let God do the saving. Just my opinion.
my husband's family is extremely into the christian church life. my husband is not, neither am i nor are our children. my niece (on my husband's side) recently sent me a letter saying that i needed to find the lord etc etc and it really hurt me because i realized that the family wasn't accepting me for who i was as a person. anyways, all it did was make me feel like i wasnt good enough (in their eyes) to be a member of their family and that i would never be fully accepted unless i became just like them. i can never forget this and it has put a strain on the relationship i have with them so i wanted to warn anybody who believes in witnessing that it isnt such a great idea afterall. thanks for listening.
Hi Nicolepsy, I am sorry to hear that this has happened. Maybe you could write a letter back to your niece and explain your side and tell her and the family through the letter how it made you feel. I believe that that they should respect you and and your right to your beliefs although they may not agree with them and you may not agree with theirs. They seem to definitely be stepping over some boundaries. I hope that the situation is resolved soon and I also believe that witnessing in this way can be hurtful. Thank you for sharing. God bless.
Last edited by ShanaBrown; 12-02-2007 at 05:04 PM..
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Not knowing any of the personalities involved or the contents of the letter, it's hard to make any kind of judgment about your situation. I'm sorry you've been hurt.
However, what I'm seeing in this thread is a lot of assumption. It's natural for others to be sympathetic to the side presented. But, is it the truth? I'm not casting doubts on your honesty, nicolepsy, just your perspective. Only you know the particulars of your situation.
As humans, we often attribute motives to others that they don't have. After certain incidents, we assume we know what others are thinking and feeling. I've been accused of thinking things I don't think, feeling things I don't feel, doing things I haven't done, and having an agenda I don't have. It's so easy to play God and read people"s minds and motives and attribute the worst things to them. Sometimes, we just love to be offended when no offense was intended. People can approach us in love, but if we don't appreciate their opinion, we somehow turn it into a hate crime. We need to stop seeing things that aren't there and hearing things that haven't been said. Misunderstanding causes too much grief, especially in families. Even if offense is intended, it is usually more loving to overlook the offense than to write the offender off. Forgiveness is a virtue!
I think when strangers witness to you, it is personal. It is part of their personal relationship with the Lord. It is their JOB. The first time I witnessed to someone, I did not know them, and I was afraid, and it was personal for me.
It was personal because I was talking to someone I did not know about my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Would He send me the right words? Would I say the right words? I knew this person needed to hear it. I knew they couldn't wait for someone else to come along, because witnessing, believe it or not, can be difficult, for people like me.
On this board I can be open to you all. In the real world, I am shy. The weekend after my husband and mother in law did such a horrible thing to me, I marched into my work, and I told my story, such a horrible story, my testimony.
The testimony of a horrible thing that happened to me, and a wonderful Lord that carried me through, making me stronger for it. I shook, I cried, but I got my story out. For before, no one really believed me when I said I had to leave him, they said to me, Robyn, are you just not trying hard enough, can't you go to counseling or something?
I even questioned myself, when they would say those things to me, knowing the horrible things my husband did to me and my kids. But what he did to me on that weekend in July, it was bad.
The Lord knew it would happen. He knew I would have the strength to get through it and overcome it. He had been carrying me, holding my hand, strengthening my soul for this day, and the days after.
The relationship one has with the Lord is a personal relationship. There is no more personal a relationship I know of. You can go to him with matters of the heart, of the soul. You can go to Him with anything, and he is there for you.
When you extend that relationship, whether it be with friend, family, stranger, you are extending a personal relationship with the Lord. For me, it is difficult, in the real world, but as often as I can, I try. It is what we are supposed to do. We are to spread the good word.
In my life, I have come to believe, I know it is true, because of the things that have happened to me, and the blessings I have received.......
(I am not quoting directly)
Without the Lord I am nothing, but with him, I am everything.
And this is the truth. It rings so true in my life. Just yesterday, I sort of was feeling in the dumps, or regressing a bit. I don't know. I had received a blessing. I went back to the mentality of what I had when I was with my husband.
Why am I receiving this blessing? Why me? I never used to be blessed. There are other people in worse situations than me, why me? Why am I getting this?
You see, in my marriage, I was conditioned to believe that I was nothing, that I was no one. I felt like I was stomped into the ground with only my head sticking out with just enough air to breathe. Stomped everyday into the ground by his boot, his boot being his words. His hatrid.
One day, I let the Lord back into my life, I allowed him back, even though my husband didn't want Him in our home, I needed him so badly.... so badly, and as the days grew, I slowly dug myself out of that hole, with His help, and he carried me.
He loves me. I went back to that thinking, I guess it is part of the process, I have only been gone from my husband since Sept 1. I am someone. I am deserving. I am loved. Those blessings may have come through people, but they came by the way of the Lord, I cannot believe anything different.
I have no idea who out there is reading this. But know that the Lord I am speaking of, He would never let you down, just as long as you let Him in, allow Him into your Heart. call out to Him. Don't just say it in your head. Say it out loud. Call out to your Lord! He is there for you always.
You are someone..... With him you are everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is part of their personal relationship with the Lord.
True, but YOUR personal relationship with the Lord is not the same as MY personal relationship with the Lord.
In fact, I believe that many Christians do not believe that I can have a personal relationship with the Lord, since I do not consider myself a Christian nor do I want to be one.
And especially because most of my opinions vary with the opinions of those whom proudly call themselves Christians, like most of my family.
True, but YOUR personal relationship with the Lord is not the same as MY personal relationship with the Lord.
In fact, I believe that many Christians do not believe that I can have a personal relationship with the Lord, since I do not consider myself a Christian nor do I want to be one.
And especially because most of my opinions vary with the opinions of those whom proudly call themselves Christians, like most of my family.
No ones personal relationship with the Lord is the same, just like no two people are the same.
I believe anyone can have a personal relationship with the Lord. The Lord gives us a choice. We just have to choose.
Doesn't matter what we look like, who we are, where we are, what we do.
You know, I proudly call myself a Christian, do I make it to church every week, no I don't. Does it make me a bad person? I dont think so. Where can I worship with my Lord? Anywhere. Anytime. Fellowship...I do that at church.
No ones personal relationship with the Lord is the same, just like no two people are the same.
And yet there are Christians who won't quit until they've badgered someone into a personal relationship with the Lord, whether that person initially wanted to or not. Who think that stopping with witnessing means that the Lord will give up on that person who refuses to cave in. They do all this and still proudly call themselves Christians, because they can only believe that witnessing can only be doing the Lord's work.
And yet there are Christians who won't quit until they've badgered someone into a personal relationship with the Lord, whether that person initially wanted to or not. Who think that stopping with witnessing means that the Lord will give up on that person who refuses to cave in. They do all this and still proudly call themselves Christians, because they can only believe that witnessing can only be doing the Lord's work.
Tricky, I don't feel that way, and I truly hope you don't think I have come across that way. I genuinly care about other people. I do not badger people into a relationship with anyone.
The Lord gives up on no one, it is we, mere mortals, who give up on the Lord. He allows us the choice, it is up to us to make.
I know about the people you speak of.... they are in my prayers.
I am still in my pjs... and I need to be leaving for work... So it is off I go, into the world of......stress!
I like to think of myself as being able to testify. I hope I have not come across too strongly to anyone on this board, and if I have, please feel free to let me know...
Have a very blessed day!
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The difference with witnessing between strangers and family is that with strangers it is not personal. When I say no to a stranger they accept that and family simply do not take a no for an answer. A refusal becomes a personal blemish on the family, simply because you are expected to do as the rest of the them.
And yet there are Christians who won't quit until they've badgered someone into a personal relationship with the Lord, whether that person initially wanted to or not. Who think that stopping with witnessing means that the Lord will give up on that person who refuses to cave in. They do all this and still proudly call themselves Christians, because they can only believe that witnessing can only be doing the Lord's work.
So it is off I go, into the world of......stress!
