Does my youth pastor have a crush on me? (woman, church, praying)
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Ok SO. I feel really weird asking this question. I can't ask anyone I know personally because, well, it would be too awkward.
My youth pastor is really nice, very kind and funny. He's in his late 20's. I a 18. I respect him and how hard he works, his passion. We have been getting close, discussing things in the Bible, and talking about ideas for the youth group, talking about life in general. (I am a girl btw) I am in MIT (ministers in training), which he picks young people that he thinks will one day be leaders to train them for ministry. But all of a sudden, he has been doing random things like tugging on my hair from behind when I am not looking, then pretending it wasn't him. I always see him looking at me when he think's I am not looking. Sometimes when I walk by he will stare at me while smiling. When he is talking or teaching us, sometimes he will say something funny and I laugh out loud or smile, and he looks into my eyes and smiles, he practically beams. Recently we were walking at the state fair as a youth group, and we were walking kind of next to each other. I turned towards him to make a statement and he subconsciously reached his hand out and tenderly brushed back my hair from my face. He did it in such a way that all my friends who were walking near us noticed and gave curious looks.
He would never do anything bad, never cross that line. He never even so much as gave me a hug or touched me (other than my hair or my hand when praying for me) So I am not worried about that type of thing. I am just really confused and don't know what to do. Is it possible I am imagining this? Should I be careful? What should I do?
Ok SO. I feel really weird asking this question. I can't ask anyone I know personally because, well, it would be too awkward.
My youth pastor is really nice, very kind and funny. He's in his late 20's. I a 18. I respect him and how hard he works, his passion. We have been getting close, discussing things in the Bible, and talking about ideas for the youth group, talking about life in general. (I am a girl btw) I am in MIT (ministers in training), which he picks young people that he thinks will one day be leaders to train them for ministry. But all of a sudden, he has been doing random things like tugging on my hair from behind when I am not looking, then pretending it wasn't him. I always see him looking at me when he think's I am not looking. Sometimes when I walk by he will stare at me while smiling. When he is talking or teaching us, sometimes he will say something funny and I laugh out loud or smile, and he looks into my eyes and smiles, he practically beams. Recently we were walking at the state fair as a youth group, and we were walking kind of next to each other. I turned towards him to make a statement and he subconsciously reached his hand out and tenderly brushed back my hair from my face. He did it in such a way that all my friends who were walking near us noticed and gave curious looks.
He would never do anything bad, never cross that line. He never even so much as gave me a hug or touched me (other than my hair or my hand when praying for me) So I am not worried about that type of thing. I am just really confused and don't know what to do. Is it possible I am imagining this? Should I be careful? What should I do?
You are too young to realize this . . . but your instincts and intuitions about such matters will seldom be wrong. However, there is always a danger that you are imposing your desires on your perceptions . . . so you need to sincerely consider your feelings in the matter as well. Good luck.
You should make it very simple and just ASK him about his feelings towards you. As a Christian you should well know that the truth is always the best thing in any situation. All of the beating around the bush, sending mixed signals etc., well those things are the way of the world and really should have no part in any kind of Christian relationship. You can make it very simple and just simply ask, What are your feeling towards me?" That simple question about TRUTH will save you much in any relationship. Now of course you don't always get a truthful response but that is where discernment plays it's part.
You are too young to realize this . . . but your instincts and intuitions about such matters will seldom be wrong. However, there is always a danger that you are imposing your desires on your perceptions . . . so you need to sincerely consider your feelings in the matter as well. Good luck.
Indeed, what is it that you want?
Is there an interest on your part in him?
If not, be circumspect (prudent/wise) about it.
"The soft and gentle touches of a man or woman can lead to more."
Ok SO. I feel really weird asking this question. I can't ask anyone I know personally because, well, it would be too awkward.
My youth pastor is really nice, very kind and funny. He's in his late 20's. I a 18. I respect him and how hard he works, his passion. We have been getting close, discussing things in the Bible, and talking about ideas for the youth group, talking about life in general. (I am a girl btw) I am in MIT (ministers in training), which he picks young people that he thinks will one day be leaders to train them for ministry. But all of a sudden, he has been doing random things like tugging on my hair from behind when I am not looking, then pretending it wasn't him. I always see him looking at me when he think's I am not looking. Sometimes when I walk by he will stare at me while smiling. When he is talking or teaching us, sometimes he will say something funny and I laugh out loud or smile, and he looks into my eyes and smiles, he practically beams. Recently we were walking at the state fair as a youth group, and we were walking kind of next to each other. I turned towards him to make a statement and he subconsciously reached his hand out and tenderly brushed back my hair from my face. He did it in such a way that all my friends who were walking near us noticed and gave curious looks.
He would never do anything bad, never cross that line. He never even so much as gave me a hug or touched me (other than my hair or my hand when praying for me) So I am not worried about that type of thing. I am just really confused and don't know what to do. Is it possible I am imagining this? Should I be careful? What should I do?
there is nothing wrong if he has a crush on you. He is just a man in sheeps clothing no matter what his title is.
there is nothing wrong if he has a crush on you. He is just a man in sheeps clothing no matter what his title is.
He's 28 and she is probably 18. He's a youth minister and she is a student. If he does have a crush on her, then there is something wrong.
But I will also repeat what others have said. What are your thoughts towards him? Do you have a crush on him? If so, it is possible you are intrepreting his signals the way you want them to come across. Be very careful.
First of all are you interested in him romantically? If you are then respond and see if your feelings are correct. If not then distance yourself and let him see you interested in others.
While my wife and I were leading the youth in a church we had a teenage girl that was obviously interested in a young man that worked with us with the youth who was in his 20's. He never responded to her because he was concerned about the age difference and how it might look. After I talked to her father and found out that her parents would love it if she ended up with a man like he was I told him if he was interested he had her parents blessing to proceed. I did have him stop working with the youth just to place the on level ground. After she graduated from High School they got married. Every time I see them they look very much in love.
Not sure this is of any help but I just thought I would share it.
Sounds like he is attracted to you and is flirting to see if you may be attracted to him. There is no harm in that so long as he is a single guy. If you are not attracted to him just tell him.
When I graduated from college I taught in a Christian High School for one year. The pastor-principal of the church and school made it clear:if he heard about or saw any teacher being intimate with a student in a manner like you've described, or if a student complained about actions that made him/her uncomfortable;then that teacher would be placed on probation or terminated. It sounds like you sincerely care for him, not romantically, but professionally. If I were you, I'd put distance between yourself and him. If he persists, you'll need to tell someone with the authority to intervene.
Today, as the pastor of a church myself, if our youth pastor behaved as you've described, I'd definitely not only want to know, but have to know. The youth pastor may simply need to be made aware that he's making someone feel uncomfortable. Also, it may nip in the bud a serious threat to the church's ministry.
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