Stuck, not sure what to do (Revelation, funeral, beliefs, scripture)
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Do what you need to do for your relationship and for your children and stop worrying about what "God's rules" may be. Relationships are hard enough without putting all that extra pressure on them. "Rules" are not what your relationship with Christ is about.
Rules... no. Obedience... He's my Father. I need to respect his wishes.
I try not to put pressure on him. Actually, he can't be persuaded to do anything he doesn't want so.. I don't think he takes it as pressure. I try to make our life good and he does the same. We both try. And we can talk things out when we have disagreements. The bottom line is we want forever.
Rules... no. Obedience... He's my Father. I need to respect his wishes.
I try not to put pressure on him. Actually, he can't be persuaded to do anything he doesn't want so.. I don't think he takes it as pressure. I try to make our life good and he does the same. We both try. And we can talk things out when we have disagreements. The bottom line is we want forever.
I really appreciate the feedback.
And the point is that what you have been told are the rules may not be. You are in a committed relationship where you both want "forever." There is no need for a "church" to bless that union.
While raising my two kids I decided not to date unless I knew for sure he was a man I could spend the rest of my live with. I got saved when I was 28 and did my share of backsliding but I developed a really strong bond with the Lord during those many long years. I went to church 3 times a week, did lots of Bible studies and generally focused on God. Only a few times in over a dozen years I cried out to Him to send me someone so I didn't have to grow old alone. So along came my guy. I'm so crazy about him. When we got reunited (we were in the same Marine squadron in the early 80's) we fell head over heels but I had orders for a 6 month tour. We were in different states and I was so afraid he wouldn't wait for me so I turned back to some worldly ways, thinking that would keep him interested until I got back and we could meet face to face. I truly believe God brought us together and perhaps we were meant for each other way back when except for stupid choices we made that pulled us in different directions. (we were coworkers/acquaintances back then). Well, I didn't trust and obey and I feel like I really screwed things up just by the way I talked to him. I was so desperate not to lose him. I shouldn't have worried. He was crazy about me but I didn't understand.
Fast forward a few years and we are living together. I'm in complete disobedience to God over this and am convicted continuously. I occasionally mention "I wish we were married" but we've both been divorced and he can't get past that. I really don't care about the past. I just wish we were married. I don't feel right living like this.
When we first started talking he recognized we were at two different places in our walk. I told him what I believed (the gospel) and he agreed with that, saying he believed that, too. As a child he posted the 10 commandments on his wall. I know he has some kind of relationship with the Lord but we both know he hasn't surrendered his will completely.
I don't believe God wants me to abandon this relationship. I want to go to church and trust that God will regain control of our lives. I allowed him to lead and we aren't going to church, not that there's a church that will allow us to join. I feel very ashamed when I have to explain we aren't married.
There's an older couple who I think are trying to adopt us. Maybe I should pray for their efforts. I've been frank with them and they visited a second time last Saturday. I went to their church once while my guy was out of town. It's a good church.
I don't know what to do. I think I should just start attending church whether he goes or not. I bought a study Bible today. I want to go Wed night and once Sunday either am or pm.
Any advice?
Reading the bolded part above, I thought of the thousands of Christians who have written letters on the Internet wailing how they cry themselves to sleep every night out of loneliness and how God has never answered their prayers for a spouse. Many have said they spent the bulk of their life in prayer waiting and waiting, only to grow old and with no hope of having someone next to them when they pass out of this life.
I found disgusting, idiotic platitudes like the one below to make apologies for God's inaction:
Quote:
WARNINGS!!
1). If the main reason you want to marry someone is because your feeling lonely or depressed, this is a terrible, terrible reason for you to pray for a spouse. The LORD JESUS has purposely allowed loneliness and depression to enter into your life as a warning signal that there is something very wrong with your relationship with JESUS. The loneliness, depression or sadness your feeling is a warning sign that your relationship with JESUS is lacking in some areas or lacking even in all areas, or that it needs immediate attention! Since JESUS allows loneliness to enter your life as a warning for you to run to him with all of your heart and soul, why would he then bless this warning of loneliness by giving you a spouse? JESUS doesn’t want you running to a man or woman to solve this loneliness or depression inside of your heart and soul, HE WANTS YOU TO RUN TO HIM INSTEAD!!!!!
So I suppose what one takes away from that is that Jesus gets terribly TERRIBLY jealous when you're lonely and hurting for a warm body to hold at night because He wants you to be desiring to hold His spirit instead.
God may or may not give you someone to call your soulmate. My experience is that He likely won't, judging by the statistics of truly happy Christian marriages against the number of miserable ones. I don't have an answer, other than my personal belief is that we will have our true soulmate in heaven, regardless of how many times the Fundamentalists chant Matthew 22:30 in my ear.
God may or may not give you someone to call your soulmate. My experience is that He likely won't, judging by the statistic of truly happy Christian marriages against the number of miserable ones. I don't have an answer, other than my personal belief is that we will have our true soulmate in heaven, regardless of how many times the Fundamentalists chant Matthew 22:30 in my ear.
Do what you need to do for your relationship and for your children and stop worrying about what "God's rules" may be. Relationships are hard enough without putting all that extra pressure on them. "Rules" are not what your relationship with Christ is about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nateswift
And the point is that what you have been told are the rules may not be. You are in a committed relationship where you both want "forever." There is no need for a "church" to bless that union.
This is a prime, real-time example of the type of worldly nonsense you will get (under the auspices of “God’s truth”) when you talk about loving/ obeying/submitting to God, but, in truth, are only willing to ‘hear and do what you want!’ Below are only a couple examples of what God has to say about this:
2 Tim 4:2-4: 2 preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; 4 and they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
Jas 1:22: But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
Matt 15:7-9: 7 You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you: 8 ‘This people honors Me with their lips, But their heart is far away from Me. 9 ‘But in vain do they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.’”
As you stated earlier, you 'know' what is right and what to do .... BUT, you are unwilling to do it. Your 'Truth void' is going to be filled by something ... 'the Word of God/words of Jesus' OR 'worldly advice and philosophies' with absolutely no basis in God's truth or righteousness!
Yes, sounds that way. I just hope if she's really crazy about this guy and he is about her that they don't let these crazy fundamentalists buzzing around them put them on a guilt trip and destroy the happiness they've found. As you say, it's hard enough maintaining a happy relationship without adding guilt over basically nothing to the equation.
OP: You have what millions of people want: someone to love them.
Why are you feeling ashamed? Because of what someone else might think? Do you think other people are perfect? Do you think they're living their lives thinking, "Oh, no. Hunterseat will judge me on this one."
If this elderly couple cares about you as people they will not judge you. Neither will anyone else.
Do what you need to do for your relationship and for your children and stop worrying about what "God's rules" may be. Relationships are hard enough without putting all that extra pressure on them. "Rules" are not what your relationship with Christ is about.
Great post and spot on.
Your Father is not about all the rules and obedience. If you could do it, you wouldn't need a Savior. There are churches that will welcome you. Let The Lord do the work and just enjoy the relationship. He's the only one that can change you two (or any of us for that matter). All of us fall short without Him, so don't sweat it.
Don't listen to the ones here that try to heap condemnation on you. We love Him because He first loved us.
As you stated earlier, you 'know' what is right and what to do .... BUT, you are unwilling to do it.
It's not that I'm unwilling. I can't figure out how to do this right so I don't destroy what I have. I don't think God wants me to destroy it so ... it's tricky. It might be about getting out of God's way. Trusting that He can fix my mess if I hand it straight up to Him.
It's not that I'm unwilling. I can't figure out how to do this right so I don't destroy what I have. I don't think God wants me to destroy it so ... it's tricky. It might be about getting out of God's way. Trusting that He can fix my mess if I hand it straight up to Him.
Being ashamed isn't about other people.
God does not want you living in sin. Stop that and see if the relationship last without the sex.
Jesus told the woman at the well (after exposing she was in a relationship just like you are) to go and sin no more. He did not tell her to continue living in sin and try and work out her relationship with God. He said "go and sin no more". That is what Jesus would tell you.
Last edited by Rightly Divided; 05-14-2014 at 04:47 AM..
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Rules... no. Obedience... He's my Father. I need to respect his wishes. 
