How do you submit to a husband who won't make a decision?
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Sounds like your husband trusts you to make good choices..You may be more blest than you think.
It doesn't matter what the gender is of who makes the best decisions. What matters is knowing that one of us is not more favored by the creator than the other.
Embrace the gift you have of making good sound decisions. It may make a happier marriage if two walk side by side in all decision making, but not all of us are equipped to make sound judgements and good decisions and therefore trust the partner with the final word.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Make the best and gentlest of each situation in a loving way. In each choice you make (for both of you) do it with well thought out and generous intention. Only good can come of it.
You'll have to find the 'answer" but I suspect your patience has run thin and your losing respect for him. You are in the red zone for marriage. Usually we have just two choices at this moment ... throw gasoline of it, or water.
My observations on such matters is usually the indecision/lack of response is linked to fear of being wrong. A do nothing approach dismisses his accountability, in his mind. In addition, when he does decide he waits until the last minute, backed into a corner and often the result is a knee jerk response. Again he's exonerated (in his mind) because others are forcing him to make a poor or wrong choices.... if it turns out poorly.
Here's what I suggest. Give him a decision to make... and tell him no matter what he decides you'll respectfully accept it. Absolutely no buyers remorse from you.
If that ain't happening for you then, as has been said.... lead, follow or get out of the way.
Sounds like your husband trusts you to make good choices..You may be more blest than you think.
It doesn't matter what the gender is of who makes the best decisions. What matters is knowing that one of us is not more favored by the creator than the other.
Embrace the gift you have of making good sound decisions. It may make a happier marriage if two walk side by side in all decision making, but not all of us are equipped to make sound judgements and good decisions and therefore trust the partner with the final word.
Even though I'm decidedly non-Christian, I actually understand and empathize with the OP. That's something that I cannot abide in a relationship either. I mean, for pete's sake, you must have some sort of an opinion on something - please do not put me in the position of always having to decide what you're going to have for dinner, what movie you're going to watch tonight, how you're going to spend your weekend. We're a couple - we're going to do these things together, so we need to decide them together. That's part of the experience of actually doing them, part of the process of sharing the experience - discussing the possibilities, and deciding together what the two of you want to share together. I won't have a totally passive partner; I can't be with one. If that's the dynamic, then we're just not a couple. It's just Emperor Me, and my robot sidekick.
So - religion aside - from a purely relationship-oriented point of view, yeah. I think that's a dysfunctional relationship. I would really suggest some sort of counseling, and since the OP and her husband are deeply religious and she's asking this question from a religious perspective, I suggest it start with their pastor.
Good luck, purplepeach. It sounds as though the two of you have lived a whole lot of life together, so there must be a pretty broad foundation of some sort there for you to work with. I wish you both the best.
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proverbs 31:11
