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As my husband and I had very bad experiences of having the Christian religion, of the fundamentalist/Biblical literalist dogma, forced down our throats as children, we were determined our own kids would not be subjected to any pressure. As there is no evidence to support any religion it is up to the individual to decide for themselves. Our girls are Christians, one an Anglican Priest, fortunately they are not fundies/Biblical literalists which would be hard to take, but up to them of course.
Do other posters let their children decide for themselves?
As my husband and I had very bad experiences of having the Christian religion, of the fundamentalist/Biblical literalist dogma, forced down our throats as children, we were determined our own kids would not be subjected to any pressure. As there is no evidence to support any religion it is up to the individual to decide for themselves. Our girls are Christians, one an Anglican Priest, fortunately they are not fundies/Biblical literalists which would be hard to take, but up to them of course.
Do other posters let their children decide for themselves?
Yes. It's complicated. I was brought up in a non-religious family and consider myself spiritually Christian, with questions. I wanted my kid to have something so sent her to Christian camps, she also enjoyed belonging to Wyldlife (middle school Young Life), and spent a lot of time in various denominations with her friends, but in the end she really isn't religious. But, I don't think there is anything wrong with religious parents raising their kids in their preferred religion. Really thinking about your question, doesn't it make sense that they choose for themselves? Otherwise they're only going through the motions.
Yes. It's complicated. I was brought up in a non-religious family and consider myself spiritually Christian, with questions. I wanted my kid to have something so sent her to Christian camps, she also enjoyed belonging to Wyldlife (middle school Young Life), and spent a lot of time in various denominations with her friends, but in the end she really isn't religious. But, I don't think there is anything wrong with religious parents raising their kids in their preferred religion. Really thinking about your question, doesn't it make sense that they choose for themselves? Otherwise they're only going through the motions.
But a lot of religious parents force their beliefs on their kids, and go ballistic if their children don't believe as they do. I was threatened with hell-fire if I didn't convert!
Still people should raise their children in the aspects and morals of the Christians faith knowing and believing in Jesus Christ in their lives ......Then they must have their children dedicated or some churches baptized to the blood of Jesus , as God will protect the children and this will give God authority to help .........Ignoring the children spiritual up bringing will give the children No experience and may doom them to no interest in God and His purpose ........letting your children decide for them selves about Christianity is an atheistic logical view which will doom the children of not knowing or have any interest in God
Still people should raise their children in the aspects and morals of the Christians faith knowing and believing in Jesus Christ in their lives ......Then they must have their children dedicated or some churches baptized to the blood of Jesus , as God will protect the children and this will give God authority to help .........Ignoring the children spiritual up bringing will give the children No experience and may doom them to no interest in God and His purpose ........letting your children decide for them selves about Christianity is an atheistic logical view which will doom the children of not knowing or have any interest in God
So you don't believe in freedom?
Why wouldn't they simply follow your example and freely choose your religion?
Still people should raise their children in the aspects and morals of the Christians faith knowing and believing in Jesus Christ in their lives ......Then they must have their children dedicated or some churches baptized to the blood of Jesus , as God will protect the children and this will give God authority to help .........Ignoring the children spiritual up bringing will give the children No experience and may doom them to no interest in God and His purpose ........letting your children decide for them selves about Christianity is an atheistic logical view which will doom the children of not knowing or have any interest in God
Morals and Christianity don't always go together, especially where the 'born again' lot are concerned as I know for a fact! Bringing your children up to be decent, honest citizens, doesn't need a religion to back it up!
My husband and I were forced to convert to that hateful 'born again' dogma as kids, and we both kicked it into touch as soon as we seriously questioned its veracity. Whereas our children were allowed to decide for themselves and decided to be Christians, albeit moderate ones thank goodness.
As there is no evidence to back up the fanciful tales in the Bible, the existence of a deity/afterlife, it is only fair that kids are permitted to decide for themselves. Parents who state everything in the Bible is true, rather than a matter of belief are lying as they cannot substantiate that statement, anymore than a person stating for sure that no deity or afterlife exist, however unlikely that scenario is.
But a lot of religious parents force their beliefs on their kids, and go ballistic if their children don't believe as they do. I was threatened with hell-fire if I didn't convert!
That's why I said, basically, that forcing them means they are only going through the motions. An omniscient God would know the difference.
The notion of letting a child choose speaks to a deep societal issue. We have become the culture of the child, where we dance around them banging tambourines, indulging their whims. Children are not adults. Never have been and never will be.
To use an analogy, if you allowed your child to choose his meals for himself, you could wind up with a child with a terrible diet. If you allowed your child to make his own decisions about education, the odds are good you'd have a functional illiterate on your hands. If you allowed your child to make his own decisions about sex, controlled substances, and a host of other social ills, you might wind up with some serious issues. Hell, just read the news. It's littered with the results of parents giving children enough rope to hang themselves.
Mind you, this is when some smug, self-important parent will predictably brag about her child always eating a balanced diet, doing homework without being asked, and making wise decisions about his or her friends. To which I say, that's nice. You beat the odds.
Because even the smartest child doesn't necessarily possess wisdom, which comes from both one's life decisions and one's ability to observe of the effects of decisions made by others. In fact, I can pretty much say that it is the rare child who does. Instead, it is the job of the parent to equip that child with the ability to make wise decisions in anticipation of adult life.
So people who say "let the child choose" don't really understand children very well, nor do they understand being a parent. When it comes to childhood autonomy for matters of faith, the supporters miss two very important points. First, the parents have the absolute right (And, I might add, responsibility) to imprint their values on the child. I mean, if you have children, you are constantly communicating your world view to them in ways large and small. Every time you correct your child about not throwing something in the recycling bin, saying unkind words to another child, hitting the dog, or the other zillion typical childhood offenses, you impart your prevailing view of How Things Should Be In The World. So if you correct your child on how he thinks or acts in the world, yet you look askance at parents insisting on their children attending church with them, then you are guilty of hypocrisy.
Second, just letting the child choose essentially acts as an obstacle to the parents' own spiritual growth and religious life. I mean, if you're letting your six-year-old stay home from church, are you going to leave your child at home alone? Of course not, for that would be incredibly irresponsible. So, in order to fulfill some misguided ideal about a child choosing his spiritual path in life, the parent has to stay home with the child, effectively allowing the child to dictate the parent's spiritual development. Or, conversely, if your precocious eleven-year-old suddenly wants to go hang out at a Catholic or Baptist church, that essentially means you'll have to take them.
And, God forbid, what if our three children had decided to take three different spiritual directions in life? In order to fulfill their whims, my wife and I would have spent Sunday mornings frantically trying to get our kids to whatever Church of What's Happening Now had the most appealing service to our eight year old. As a result, we would never get to attend our own church that has been such an important part of our family life.
In other words, the 'let my child choose for himself' notion sounds good and liberating for about five seconds, then becomes really idiotic in practice. Nope, our house and our rules when it comes to how we worship. Not because we're heavy-handed autocrats. But rather because we have a responsibility to the child and, ultimately, myself. When you become an adult, you are free to make those decisions about your life.
Last edited by cpg35223; 10-18-2015 at 08:14 AM..
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I wanted my kid to have something so sent her to Christian camps, she also enjoyed belonging to Wyldlife (middle school Young Life), and spent a lot of time in various denominations with her friends, but in the end she really isn't religious. But, I don't think there is anything wrong with religious parents raising their kids in their preferred religion. Really thinking about your question, doesn't it make sense that they choose for themselves? Otherwise they're only going through the motions.
