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Old 03-01-2016, 04:26 AM
 
575 posts, read 827,238 times
Reputation: 542

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This will be a long post, but I'm hoping some can provide some insight.

I didn't grow up in a church, unfortunately. So the structuring of churches and organization thereof, all new to me.

A few years ago, we began attending the church my mother was a longtime member. We fell in love with the people of the church, the many outreach programs of the church, the pastor, and associate pastor, it was a church that felt like home. We became members.

Ultimately my husband took a position as Deacon (not paid), and we both became very active in the church, me in children ministries and him in many other aspects, teaching Sunday school, yard crew, etc.

Not known to us at the time, and why would we know this. There were problems among the pastor and his sect'y. We thought the world of both. But apparently there were some issues there. This has been about two years ago. The pastor suddenly announced he was resigning. He was in his 60's so that made sense. Until ... his resignation, when originally tendered, he was to stay through the end of the year, until a replacement could be found, this was in the summer. Suddenly, abruptly, he resigned effective immediately.

This left us without a pastor, the associate pastor took the reigns until a replacement could be found, associate pastor didn't want the position of lead minister. It turned out that the reason was that he and the sect'y the situation was untenable. The sect'y/ofc manager, .. she'd been there much longer than this minister that resigned. Her husband had become disabled and wheelchair bound in her tenure there at the church. The pastor, (the long and short of it all) wanted her terminated .... I think she had her finger in many more pies in the church, activity wise, than the pastor would've liked, and he was never able to reign her in, and have her just do her job, which was to manage the office. She was running many women's ministries and I suppose that wasn't suitable to him. And so he wanted her terminated, but the elders of the church (the powers that be in this structure/organization) .. the elders were split. 4 elders in all, 2 agreed, 2 did not. Thus the pastor resigned, effective immediately, and left the church. It was said he was retiring effective immediately.

This then caused much disdain, and there were camps and divisions among the church body. Some in the pastor's camp, now angry with the church sect'y that her inability to tow the line the pastor wanted, had caused him to depart, and some in the church sect'y's camp, .. feeling as though the pastor must've been a real sheep in wolves clothing to be so uncaring and unkind.

Some left the church over this whole debacle.

The search was on for a new pastor.

It has gotten a lot worse since.

Eventually, the original minister, the one who abruptly resigned, I suppose he was campaigned at, by those who had left, and others ... to start a new church, and he did so. Which then caused many more, of our church to leave .. especially when the new pastor came on board .. and perhaps he wasn't as well liked. So many then left to go join this church the former pastor was now starting.

The hemorrhaging of our church body has continued. Almost all of the long time members of our church, have left our church now. Some to attend the newly started church, some simply because they don't like the new pastor.

I am beginning to have wishes to leave this church, because the new pastor, .. so much of what he does seems like bully tactics. But I don't know the workings of churches since this is all relatively new to me.

Most recently, he removed the woman who has been the lead singer of the praise and worship team, for 20+ years. Why did he do that? She says that many come to her, because she's a long time member, because she's a face of the church ... they ask her things, such as "why did he remove the crosses from the walls?, why did he remove the glass encased bible that was donated to the church at it's inception 30 years ago, why is that gone now, why were the hymnals taken from the pews, (we never use the hymnals), .. why don't we have meet and greet anymore, why did he do away with that". She would take these rumblings to the pastor (the new pastor) .. people would ask her these questions, these are questions we would all like answers to, even my husband has had discussion with the pastor over these things. The pastor, I suppose, .. took her bringing this news to him, repeatedly, .. in other words these questions would be asked, .. of the "faces" of the church ... and she would bring these rumblings to him, and he was either tired of hearing it, or as he told her when he removed her from this volunteer position she's held for over 20 years, .. you can either get on board with the changes being made or you can step down. She states she has given no indication she wasn't "on board", she is merely pointing out to him the discontent that his changes are creating, and that his lack of addressing it, isn't helping matters.

The associate pastor resigned his position, about a year ago, and left the church, reason unclear. He had been with the church over 18 years. He simply stated that he'd seen many transitions and he couldn't weather another one. He is now an associate pastor at another church.

Another example of his ....???....I don't know, bully tactics. There was was a clothing ministry .. there was a bin in the vestibule of the church, and anyone who wanted to donate to this clothing ministry could bring in their old clothes and drop them in the bin there in the vestibule. He moved that, calling it unsightly. No longer wanted it in the vestibule of the church. But did not discuss it with the woman whose ministry this was. And she then conversed with him on the topic. He then informed her that he is going in a different direction with that ministry, that the clothes will no longer be donated to the city rescue mission, they will be sorted thru for our very own clothing pantry, for the needy. But as of yet, that isn't up and running, and the clothing bin has been moved. She left the church, long time member.

He had words with two of the praise and worship members of the team .. they'd been long time participants of that team, .. and they had words over his micromanaging that entity and they left the church.

He has changed many things about the functions of the church.

I know at Christmas time, many of us who are older, were dismayed to learn there would be only 1 service for Christmas eve, and that service slated for 11 PM. Formerly there had been two services, one at 7 PM and another at 11 PM. He'd done away with the 7 PM service. See above, our numbers of members has dwindled markedly. I asked him, because I knew I would not be able to attend at that late hour, can't stay up that late. His answer to that was that we simply don't have the numbers of people anymore, to warrant two services. I asked him then why didn't he schedule it for earlier, so that some of us who are older, can attend, we don't stay up that late. His answer was, .. it was nice, it was diplomatic, not flippant, "you don't have to attend, it's okay".

What gives here? Is this what happens when a church gets a new pastor?
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Old 03-01-2016, 07:17 AM
 
6,813 posts, read 3,129,492 times
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Wow. A lot of good, dedicated women from the secretary on are being disrespected by men in power.
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Old 03-01-2016, 09:53 AM
Status: "Amused by BF." (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
23,258 posts, read 12,050,400 times
Reputation: 10627
I hate office politics. Which is why I don't belong to clubs or associations and have almost always chosen jobs where I worked alone.

OP, if your church is causing you more stress than comfort, it's time to look for a new church.
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Old 03-01-2016, 10:00 AM
 
19,952 posts, read 12,963,461 times
Reputation: 1957
Quote:
Originally Posted by nnyl View Post
This will be a long post, but I'm hoping some can provide some insight.

I didn't grow up in a church, unfortunately. So the structuring of churches and organization thereof, all new to me.

A few years ago, we began attending the church my mother was a longtime member. We fell in love with the people of the church, the many outreach programs of the church, the pastor, and associate pastor, it was a church that felt like home. We became members.

Ultimately my husband took a position as Deacon (not paid), and we both became very active in the church, me in children ministries and him in many other aspects, teaching Sunday school, yard crew, etc.

Not known to us at the time, and why would we know this. There were problems among the pastor and his sect'y. We thought the world of both. But apparently there were some issues there. This has been about two years ago. The pastor suddenly announced he was resigning. He was in his 60's so that made sense. Until ... his resignation, when originally tendered, he was to stay through the end of the year, until a replacement could be found, this was in the summer. Suddenly, abruptly, he resigned effective immediately.

This left us without a pastor, the associate pastor took the reigns until a replacement could be found, associate pastor didn't want the position of lead minister. It turned out that the reason was that he and the sect'y the situation was untenable. The sect'y/ofc manager, .. she'd been there much longer than this minister that resigned. Her husband had become disabled and wheelchair bound in her tenure there at the church. The pastor, (the long and short of it all) wanted her terminated .... I think she had her finger in many more pies in the church, activity wise, than the pastor would've liked, and he was never able to reign her in, and have her just do her job, which was to manage the office. She was running many women's ministries and I suppose that wasn't suitable to him. And so he wanted her terminated, but the elders of the church (the powers that be in this structure/organization) .. the elders were split. 4 elders in all, 2 agreed, 2 did not. Thus the pastor resigned, effective immediately, and left the church. It was said he was retiring effective immediately.

This then caused much disdain, and there were camps and divisions among the church body. Some in the pastor's camp, now angry with the church sect'y that her inability to tow the line the pastor wanted, had caused him to depart, and some in the church sect'y's camp, .. feeling as though the pastor must've been a real sheep in wolves clothing to be so uncaring and unkind.

Some left the church over this whole debacle.

The search was on for a new pastor.

It has gotten a lot worse since.

Eventually, the original minister, the one who abruptly resigned, I suppose he was campaigned at, by those who had left, and others ... to start a new church, and he did so. Which then caused many more, of our church to leave .. especially when the new pastor came on board .. and perhaps he wasn't as well liked. So many then left to go join this church the former pastor was now starting.

The hemorrhaging of our church body has continued. Almost all of the long time members of our church, have left our church now. Some to attend the newly started church, some simply because they don't like the new pastor.

I am beginning to have wishes to leave this church, because the new pastor, .. so much of what he does seems like bully tactics. But I don't know the workings of churches since this is all relatively new to me.

Most recently, he removed the woman who has been the lead singer of the praise and worship team, for 20+ years. Why did he do that? She says that many come to her, because she's a long time member, because she's a face of the church ... they ask her things, such as "why did he remove the crosses from the walls?, why did he remove the glass encased bible that was donated to the church at it's inception 30 years ago, why is that gone now, why were the hymnals taken from the pews, (we never use the hymnals), .. why don't we have meet and greet anymore, why did he do away with that". She would take these rumblings to the pastor (the new pastor) .. people would ask her these questions, these are questions we would all like answers to, even my husband has had discussion with the pastor over these things. The pastor, I suppose, .. took her bringing this news to him, repeatedly, .. in other words these questions would be asked, .. of the "faces" of the church ... and she would bring these rumblings to him, and he was either tired of hearing it, or as he told her when he removed her from this volunteer position she's held for over 20 years, .. you can either get on board with the changes being made or you can step down. She states she has given no indication she wasn't "on board", she is merely pointing out to him the discontent that his changes are creating, and that his lack of addressing it, isn't helping matters.

The associate pastor resigned his position, about a year ago, and left the church, reason unclear. He had been with the church over 18 years. He simply stated that he'd seen many transitions and he couldn't weather another one. He is now an associate pastor at another church.

Another example of his ....???....I don't know, bully tactics. There was was a clothing ministry .. there was a bin in the vestibule of the church, and anyone who wanted to donate to this clothing ministry could bring in their old clothes and drop them in the bin there in the vestibule. He moved that, calling it unsightly. No longer wanted it in the vestibule of the church. But did not discuss it with the woman whose ministry this was. And she then conversed with him on the topic. He then informed her that he is going in a different direction with that ministry, that the clothes will no longer be donated to the city rescue mission, they will be sorted thru for our very own clothing pantry, for the needy. But as of yet, that isn't up and running, and the clothing bin has been moved. She left the church, long time member.

He had words with two of the praise and worship members of the team .. they'd been long time participants of that team, .. and they had words over his micromanaging that entity and they left the church.

He has changed many things about the functions of the church.

I know at Christmas time, many of us who are older, were dismayed to learn there would be only 1 service for Christmas eve, and that service slated for 11 PM. Formerly there had been two services, one at 7 PM and another at 11 PM. He'd done away with the 7 PM service. See above, our numbers of members has dwindled markedly. I asked him, because I knew I would not be able to attend at that late hour, can't stay up that late. His answer to that was that we simply don't have the numbers of people anymore, to warrant two services. I asked him then why didn't he schedule it for earlier, so that some of us who are older, can attend, we don't stay up that late. His answer was, .. it was nice, it was diplomatic, not flippant, "you don't have to attend, it's okay".

What gives here? Is this what happens when a church gets a new pastor?
Pastors are human beings. We are not gifted with infallibility in church administration when we become pastors. Oftentimes administration is a completely different skill set than preaching. A church will often hire a pastor because he is nice, or he preaches good sermons, but they have no idea how his administrative skills are. Worse yet, most pastors are never given any kind of training in how to manage a team of people, or how to run an organization, so the church suffers.

I don't know the situation there, and we often hear only 1/2 of the story, but perhaps this guy just isn't equipped to be in the position he was in. If I understand the story right, it was the associate pastor that was the bully? There may be a reason why he was an associate--he may have simply never been in the position of leadership of an entire church before and he may have no clue how to do it. The only way he may know how to lead is to be a bully.

Be careful to assign motive to the guy. He may be doing the best he can, and he just doesn't know how to do anything different than what he's doing.
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Old 03-01-2016, 11:48 AM
 
575 posts, read 827,238 times
Reputation: 542
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vizio View Post
Pastors are human beings. We are not gifted with infallibility in church administration when we become pastors. Oftentimes administration is a completely different skill set than preaching. A church will often hire a pastor because he is nice, or he preaches good sermons, but they have no idea how his administrative skills are. Worse yet, most pastors are never given any kind of training in how to manage a team of people, or how to run an organization, so the church suffers.

I don't know the situation there, and we often hear only 1/2 of the story, but perhaps this guy just isn't equipped to be in the position he was in. If I understand the story right, it was the associate pastor that was the bully? There may be a reason why he was an associate--he may have simply never been in the position of leadership of an entire church before and he may have no clue how to do it. The only way he may know how to lead is to be a bully.

Be careful to assign motive to the guy. He may be doing the best he can, and he just doesn't know how to do anything different than what he's doing.
This isn't the "associate" pastor, this is the lead pastor that was brought in after a year long search. First lead pastor having abruptly departed. Though I will say this new pastor, the only capacity he has held previously, was that of a youth minister in a much larger church. Our church, at it's best, was at roughly 400 members. We are now down to 130-145. Better than half, have left the church. Some, originally left, because the former minister, the one who departed so abruptly, .. said to have been retiring, was coaxed out of retirement, to start a new church.

Once word traveled that the former minister was starting a new church, some left our church to go be a part of the new church being started.

But not all. Over the past year, once we recovered from that blood-letting, of members departing for that new church, we have seen exit after exit of long time members, and not necessarily to join the new church, they just have fundamental disagreements with the pastor and how he is running things.

New pastor doesn't seem to be open to suggestion. It seems to be his way or the highway. Lot sf members choosing the latter.

For instance:

There is a glass encased bible, big huge bible, given to the church at its inception by one of the founding member's family (no longer part of our church, now deceased). That glass encased bible sat in the sanctuary all these years, 30 plus years. It has now been removed by new pastor.

There were crosses mounted on the walls, in this christian church, those have been removed.

A big part of beginning worship every week, for years, was what is known as a meet and greet. The pastor would make morning announcements and allow few moments for you to greet and meet those around you. No longer allowed. He thinks it's a waste of precious time.

As to the first two points and why he did this. He indicates those are "Symbols" and the church body doesn't need to be focused on "symbols" but rather our focus should be on our community at large and saving the souls of those who live among us and are un-churched/unsaved. I say one the presence of either of the above, doesn't necessarily preclude one's ability for community outreach. I don't suppose the pastor sees it that way.

He has removed the hymnals from the pews (in his defense, they are never used). There is a praise and worship team and they sing songs, words flashed on a big screen for anyone who cares to join in and follow along. So the hymnals were not in regular use.

The item cited in the first post, wherein he has removed the bin from the vestibule of the church, for used clothing. That used to be a specific ministry of a long time member (who has now left the church over this debacle). She would gather and sort thru used clothing and transport it to the city rescue mission. This pastor's idea is that we should have our OWN clothes pantry, and thus he moved the bin. Thus far, there is no "plan" or "people" to manage said clothes pantry. We are sorely lacking in people anymore, to man almost anything that might be planned. IMO, one should get the people in place, before yanking the existing plan. I don't suppose the pastor sees it this way.

The above and so much more.

This past xmas, .. for the first time ever, the xmas eve service, which is an important part of a lot of people's Christmas celebration, the church service that had always been held at 7 PM was cancelled in lieu of one now to be held at 11 PM. When asked why we couldn't have an earlier service to accommodate those of us who aren't up at that hour, the answer given was, we don't have the numbers of members any longer ... we can only accommodate one service. So why place it at 11 PM, which means it's not going to be attended by some of the older folks (ourselves included). When this was mentioned to him, he politely said (he wasn't flippant) "You don't have to come, it's alright". That wasn't the point. We did want to come, it's just that we don't want to come at that hour. We did go to another church, .. where we aren't members, for our xmas eve celebration. But that isn't the point.

Just so many things. The gal who has been on the praise and worship team 20 plus years, has now been asked by him to step down from her role there. Why? Because the rumblings above, and so much more, that are brought by the members of the church, to the "Faces" of the church, her's being a "face" of the church since she is regularly up front on the praise and worship team, .. when she made the mistake (I suppose the pastor would deem it a mistake) of going to him, repeatedly, about the grumblings and grievances of people who are discontent with decisions being made (let's not forget how many people have exited this church over the above and so much more), he deemed that as "get on board" or step down. She is crushed, and has cried for days over this situation.

This church used to be, the hierarchy of said church ... four elders. All of those elders have stepped down now, various disagreements with the pastor. There is one elder that has stepped up to that plate. But he is undermanned in the job. The "elders" used to be the decision making body of the church, and the checks and balances. It doesn't appear there is any longer, a checks and balances in place.

It feels like, to me, that it's his way or the highway and many have taken the highway and we continue to watch our brothers and sisters in Christ leave the church, and it's painful.

Thus the reason for this post. Questioning if this is how it goes. New pastor comes in, get on board, or get out.
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Old 03-01-2016, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Gulf Coast Texas
26,195 posts, read 14,086,044 times
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nnyl - At some point you have to see God in this. You need to know where God wants you to be. It seems like a huge issue for you - so you should be bringing it to Him regularly. He may want you to stay and be a stabilizing influence. He may want you leave and try something totally different.

The environment is obviously toxic right now. You need to know if the leadership is following Christ or themselves. You don't have to ask them directly, just sit and observe and listen for the pinging of the Holy Spirit. If you are sensing God is not there, you need to get out of there. Maybe God is there and some people needed to be weeded out.

My point is focus on God and Christ. They will steer you to where They want you to be.

As far as the other stuff, what attracted the earlier members to the church is now gone. So those who can't stomach the changes will leave. But expect new members to come in who like the new focus. That's what happened to us when we changed pastors and style of music. Many older members left, new members were attracted to the new style.
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Old 03-01-2016, 12:08 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,665,130 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nnyl View Post
What gives here? Is this what happens when a church gets a new pastor?
It's what happens when one dictator leaves and another one arrives.
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Old 03-01-2016, 01:13 PM
 
Location: On a road heaven bound !
10,290 posts, read 8,038,325 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DRob4JC View Post
nnyl - At some point you have to see God in this. You need to know where God wants you to be. It seems like a huge issue for you - so you should be bringing it to Him regularly. He may want you to stay and be a stabilizing influence. He may want you leave and try something totally different.

The environment is obviously toxic right now. You need to know if the leadership is following Christ or themselves. You don't have to ask them directly, just sit and observe and listen for the pinging of the Holy Spirit. If you are sensing God is not there, you need to get out of there. Maybe God is there and some people needed to be weeded out.

My point is focus on God and Christ. They will steer you to where They want you to be.

As far as the other stuff, what attracted the earlier members to the church is now gone. So those who can't stomach the changes will leave. But expect new members to come in who like the new focus. That's what happened to us when we changed pastors and style of music. Many older members left, new members were attracted to the new style.
Good advice !
I think also when nny, stated, "Though I will say this new pastor, the only capacity he has held previously, was that of a youth minister in a much larger church." could be somewhat the problem in what they are dealing with.
As being a Pastor for the youth and now taking on the responsibility of ministering and working with individuals that is mainly adults there will be a big difference in what his responsibility was as a youth Pastor and now having to handle things and working with adults .

Just like you said, pray and keep focus on the Lord and He will reveal what needs to be done !
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Old 03-01-2016, 01:48 PM
 
19,952 posts, read 12,963,461 times
Reputation: 1957
Quote:
Originally Posted by nnyl View Post
This isn't the "associate" pastor, this is the lead pastor that was brought in after a year long search. First lead pastor having abruptly departed. Though I will say this new pastor, the only capacity he has held previously, was that of a youth minister in a much larger church. Our church, at it's best, was at roughly 400 members. We are now down to 130-145. Better than half, have left the church. Some, originally left, because the former minister, the one who departed so abruptly, .. said to have been retiring, was coaxed out of retirement, to start a new church.
Ahh....I misunderstood.
Quote:
Once word traveled that the former minister was starting a new church, some left our church to go be a part of the new church being started.

But not all. Over the past year, once we recovered from that blood-letting, of members departing for that new church, we have seen exit after exit of long time members, and not necessarily to join the new church, they just have fundamental disagreements with the pastor and how he is running things.

New pastor doesn't seem to be open to suggestion. It seems to be his way or the highway. Lot sf members choosing the latter.
I've been in a church that said goodbye to a beloved long-time pastor and hired a guy from a large megachurch to come in. He did a lot of changes, some sounding like what you've seen there. I gave him a year and we left because I didn't like the direction of the church.

The church I'm pastoring in now, the last pastor had a generally decent relationship with the congregation, but they had some issues. He was well-liked by some, disliked by others. I've found that I have the same thing--some of the old guard that was here doesn't seem to appreciate me. A lot of the folks do seem to appreciate me though, and I'm seeing growth in them. Many people will come to the church simply because they've always come here, and the pastor is irrelevant to them.
Quote:
For instance:

There is a glass encased bible, big huge bible, given to the church at its inception by one of the founding member's family (no longer part of our church, now deceased). That glass encased bible sat in the sanctuary all these years, 30 plus years. It has now been removed by new pastor.

There were crosses mounted on the walls, in this christian church, those have been removed.

A big part of beginning worship every week, for years, was what is known as a meet and greet. The pastor would make morning announcements and allow few moments for you to greet and meet those around you. No longer allowed. He thinks it's a waste of precious time.

As to the first two points and why he did this. He indicates those are "Symbols" and the church body doesn't need to be focused on "symbols" but rather our focus should be on our community at large and saving the souls of those who live among us and are un-churched/unsaved. I say one the presence of either of the above, doesn't necessarily preclude one's ability for community outreach. I don't suppose the pastor sees it that way.

He has removed the hymnals from the pews (in his defense, they are never used). There is a praise and worship team and they sing songs, words flashed on a big screen for anyone who cares to join in and follow along. So the hymnals were not in regular use.

The item cited in the first post, wherein he has removed the bin from the vestibule of the church, for used clothing. That used to be a specific ministry of a long time member (who has now left the church over this debacle). She would gather and sort thru used clothing and transport it to the city rescue mission. This pastor's idea is that we should have our OWN clothes pantry, and thus he moved the bin. Thus far, there is no "plan" or "people" to manage said clothes pantry. We are sorely lacking in people anymore, to man almost anything that might be planned. IMO, one should get the people in place, before yanking the existing plan. I don't suppose the pastor sees it this way.
It sounds like the first church above that I mentioned. The pastor that came in used to be on staff at Willow Creek church, which is a large "seeker-sensitive" church. Our previous pastor was a guy that was in his 50's and some would say he was "old-fashioned". The new guy, I think, was trying to update it and make it more attractive to the new generation. I wasn't a fan of some of the methodology he used, and I thought the church had changed it's focus.
Quote:
The above and so much more.

This past xmas, .. for the first time ever, the xmas eve service, which is an important part of a lot of people's Christmas celebration, the church service that had always been held at 7 PM was cancelled in lieu of one now to be held at 11 PM. When asked why we couldn't have an earlier service to accommodate those of us who aren't up at that hour, the answer given was, we don't have the numbers of members any longer ... we can only accommodate one service. So why place it at 11 PM, which means it's not going to be attended by some of the older folks (ourselves included). When this was mentioned to him, he politely said (he wasn't flippant) "You don't have to come, it's alright". That wasn't the point. We did want to come, it's just that we don't want to come at that hour. We did go to another church, .. where we aren't members, for our xmas eve celebration. But that isn't the point.

Just so many things. The gal who has been on the praise and worship team 20 plus years, has now been asked by him to step down from her role there. Why? Because the rumblings above, and so much more, that are brought by the members of the church, to the "Faces" of the church, her's being a "face" of the church since she is regularly up front on the praise and worship team, .. when she made the mistake (I suppose the pastor would deem it a mistake) of going to him, repeatedly, about the grumblings and grievances of people who are discontent with decisions being made (let's not forget how many people have exited this church over the above and so much more), he deemed that as "get on board" or step down. She is crushed, and has cried for days over this situation.

This church used to be, the hierarchy of said church ... four elders. All of those elders have stepped down now, various disagreements with the pastor. There is one elder that has stepped up to that plate. But he is undermanned in the job. The "elders" used to be the decision making body of the church, and the checks and balances. It doesn't appear there is any longer, a checks and balances in place.
How did this pastor get hired? Was it the elders? A pulpit search committee? Is there a reason they didn't see it coming ?

My question to this point was, "Is it just him, or are the elders in agreement with the changes?"

It really seems to me that the elders needed to put him in his place long ago. Or the search committee should have done a better job vetting him as a candidate. It just doesn't sound like a good fit. Your church wasn't prepared for him -- and he wasn't prepared for the type of ministry in your church.
Quote:
It feels like, to me, that it's his way or the highway and many have taken the highway and we continue to watch our brothers and sisters in Christ leave the church, and it's painful.

Thus the reason for this post. Questioning if this is how it goes. New pastor comes in, get on board, or get out.
I've been there. As I mentioned above, I watched the church that I first met Christ in go from a beloved pastor that preached the Bible to a younger guy that changed everything. Unfortunately, the church does not resemble the church that was there 20 years ago.

You've got a few things at play here:

1. Your pastor may be a bully. It could be that he has never led a church before and doesn't know how to communicate his ideas without sounding like a bully.

2. I think your church has a disagreement among the lay leadership on what they wanted from a pastor. It sounds like some wanted a guy that would preach a contemporary type of seeker-sensitive Christianaity, and some wanted a guy like your old favorite pastor. I think they hired a guy that was simply a bad fit for your church. He is making changes, and apparently leadership is going along with it, perhaps they're being bullied into it. The people aren't ready for these changes. In time, the church will even out and probably even start growing again--with a new group of people. The question is if you want to be a part of it. You need to ask yourself the hard question of whether or not you're being fed spiritually there, and consider leaving if not.

3. I know from experience, it's difficult when the pastor says "there are other churches in the area, I'm sure that you can find one you appreciate"....and it really hurt me when I heard that one day. Now that I'm a pastor though.....I do have lots of people that come to me to tell me how they want church to be. Ultimately I can't please everyone. At some point a pastor just has to do things the way he thinks is best and let the chips fall. This goes back to the question of the elders and search committee making a good selection when they picked him.
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Old 03-01-2016, 02:17 PM
 
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You should ask the Pastor in charge to start a fast and give it to the Lord , as divisions is a dangerous turn and people could get ill if pride or hatred creep into the church , There also should be an investigation into the stolen things , as if you locate the thief then you should offer them a coat to Jesus ... This is serous start a fast for Jesus at lest .....
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