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Old 03-28-2016, 03:34 PM
 
127 posts, read 151,214 times
Reputation: 137

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I have been really struggling with this at work. There is a gal in the office who is being nasty and underhanded to others while trying to gain a promotion. I have been one of her victims as she put other people down to look good for big boss. There is a lot of hatred towards her inside of me now....I go home upset every night. What she is doing is not right. I wish God can come down now and set her straight this very moment. But the bible tells me to turn the other cheek and I pray on that at night before I head to bed. I know it's what I have to do but I feel like there are people out there who abuse the system and get away with it.


I feel like I am being getting walked on but God tells me to suffer for him and let it slide. I struggle with this every day. I am trying to find another job but that will take a while.


Any advice?
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,224 posts, read 49,768,169 times
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I don't think he's saying that you should be cool with being railroaded or walked all over.
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:42 PM
Status: "Build the damn wall!" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: The Haunted Mansion
15,147 posts, read 8,229,213 times
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I understand your frustration. Jesus said to pray for your enemies. That would be a good start to easing your anger. "God works all things for good to those that love the Lord."
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:50 PM
 
127 posts, read 151,214 times
Reputation: 137
She is being underhanded in her dealings while attacking others' work. Then is smooth enough to erase her tracks and hides before other people attack her back.


I have fantasies of doing the same to her if there was an opportunity at work. But I know that's not the right thing to do. It makes me angry to see her get away with it. The big boss is clueless and she is feeding him lies about other people. It is damaging to my work reputation that I have worked hard to established. Other people feel the same way but she is smart enough to get away with it.


I wonder why God has put me in this agonizing predicament. I feel like yelling at the top of my lungs for justice.
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:52 PM
 
20,299 posts, read 15,642,764 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by capitalhockey View Post
I have been really struggling with this at work. There is a gal in the office who is being nasty and underhanded to others while trying to gain a promotion. I have been one of her victims as she put other people down to look good for big boss. There is a lot of hatred towards her inside of me now....I go home upset every night. What she is doing is not right. I wish God can come down now and set her straight this very moment. But the bible tells me to turn the other cheek and I pray on that at night before I head to bed. I know it's what I have to do but I feel like there are people out there who abuse the system and get away with it.


I feel like I am being getting walked on but God tells me to suffer for him and let it slide. I struggle with this every day. I am trying to find another job but that will take a while.


Any advice?
Hating her and getting upset over her won't hurt her. It only hurts you. You can't control her actions at work, but why give her control over your attitude and emotions? She's not that important.
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:52 PM
 
3,138 posts, read 2,050,445 times
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OP,

This is one of the biggest areas of struggle for most Christians.

How can we secretly and openly love someone who mistreats us?

It is something I have not mastered, and probably will struggle with until I die, or until Christ returns to this Earth and takes me up to Heaven to be with Him and The Father.

First, I encourage you to really get into a deep relationship with Jesus (if you have not already) and to truly sit before Him every day, in solitude, and talk to Him about this. He loves you, cares for you, and wants to help you with this issue.

Second, remember we live in a fallen world. We have fallen, those around us have fallen, and all have sinned and fallen short of His glory. One thing I have learned is that you can never expect people who are not of Christ to behave like Him. If you truly understand and embrace this, then it might help you to have somewhat of a different viewpoint on this coworker. I used to suffer daily at a prior job and felt as though I were being persecuted by 1-2 people. They were mean, nasty, and would seek out innumerable ways to hurt me on my job. Their behavior multiplied 10 fold once I let everyone know that I was a Christian. I knew it, they knew it. And most of all, Christ knew it.

Third, remember that Christ has sent us, those who love Him and have been saved, to be light in places of darkness. Your job definitely sounds like it is a place of darkness...with Satan and those whom he controls, obviously seeming to run things. But don't lose heart. Remember that no matter what she does or how she behaves, she is lost and clearly without Christ in her heart. Jesus always wants us to pray for those who mistreat us, and pray that we will use His strength (not our own) to take up our crosses and follow Him. At the end of the day, she is sinning against God, not you. Please remember that.

Ive known Christ for 19 years now and have been through situations like this many times. It is difficult, to say the least. And while switching jobs may help, I've always learned that people like your coworker are innumerable in this world. Your physical work location may change, but people like her will always be around you.

In 2 Corinthians 12:8, Paul asked 3 times for God to remove the thorn from his side.We do not know what that thorn represented, but it was clearly something that Paul struggled with. Even Jesus, knowing that he would be tortured and crucified, asked God to "let this cup pass from me." (Matthew 26:39). In both cases (and tons more in the Bible), God did not remove the agent that was perceived to be causing the problem.

Don't let Satan or her steal your joy, because it truly sounds like this is what is happening. At the end of the day, you cannot control or change her. Don't let her behavior change you, your focus, or your testimony.

I think OP, that you should really ask the Lord to show you what He wants you to gain from this situation. You may take the time to pray for this young woman, you may openly share Christ's love for her with her one day, or you may learn to endure with the love of Christ in your heart despite your external circumstances such as mistreatment by this coworker.

Please hang in there and continue to pray.

Last edited by erjunkee; 03-28-2016 at 04:03 PM..
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:56 PM
 
20,299 posts, read 15,642,764 times
Reputation: 7408
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitalhockey View Post
She is being underhanded in her dealings while attacking others' work. Then is smooth enough to erase her tracks and hides before other people attack her back.


I have fantasies of doing the same to her if there was an opportunity at work. But I know that's not the right thing to do. It makes me angry to see her get away with it. The big boss is clueless and she is feeding him lies about other people. It is damaging to my work reputation that I have worked hard to established. Other people feel the same way but she is smart enough to get away with it.


I wonder why God has put me in this agonizing predicament. I feel like yelling at the top of my lungs for justice.
God allows various kinds of testing to come into the life of the believer. People testing is one such kind of testing. It's to your spiritual benefit if you can leave the problem in God's hands and just do your job as unto the Lord and leave the situation in God's hands.
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:58 PM
Status: "Build the damn wall!" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: The Haunted Mansion
15,147 posts, read 8,229,213 times
Reputation: 1544
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitalhockey View Post
She is being underhanded in her dealings while attacking others' work. Then is smooth enough to erase her tracks and hides before other people attack her back.


I have fantasies of doing the same to her if there was an opportunity at work. But I know that's not the right thing to do. It makes me angry to see her get away with it. The big boss is clueless and she is feeding him lies about other people. It is damaging to my work reputation that I have worked hard to established. Other people feel the same way but she is smart enough to get away with it.


I wonder why God has put me in this agonizing predicament. I feel like yelling at the top of my lungs for justice.
James 1

2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, 8 being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
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Old 03-28-2016, 04:00 PM
 
1,489 posts, read 611,823 times
Reputation: 293
Turning the other cheek didnt have the cultural context of being a doormat, nor did giving someone your tunic or going the extra mile, as we presume these parables were all meant to illustrate. Noel Moules covers it in his book in the chapter Assertive Meekness.

It's sad that toss pots get promoted, but it's the way of the world unfortunately. God brings us to a place eventually where we have to learn to live with them. This particular occasion may not be your moment, particularly if it's gone too far, but find a way to be assertive, make your point and keep looking for other opportunities. It's tough, loving how we should love, but it should be constructive 'can do' love that builds people up and demonstartes how something should be done right, not pointing out faults and blaming them for doing it all wrong. I know we all think 'but I have to be in that position of authority before I can show how to do it right'. No you don't. But you do have to function and operate in faith, because with controlling personalities, you have to be able to place boundaries and-or function across them effectively, which means standing against fear. Is this making sense?
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Old 03-28-2016, 04:12 PM
 
127 posts, read 151,214 times
Reputation: 137
I have been minimizing my exposure. Double checking my work so she has no opening to criticize me. I can be an example by not criticizing her work....it is very tempting to wait for an opening to do the same to her. I minimize my interactions with her where I can.
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