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It's cute that you think I chose this. That you think I want this. Let me tell you what my life is like. Every time I leave my apartment, I have a giant target on my back. 12 transwomen have been murdered in this country, this year alone. So every time I go anywhere, I wonder in the back of my mind "Am I next?"
Every time I go into a building, I'm automatically scanning for exits, beyond the obvious, in case things get crazy, because like I said, there's a target on my back. There are people that would love to harm me, even kill me, simply because I exist.
But that's the easy stuff. I've only seen my Mother twice in four years. The last time, she came up with an Aunt. That's the only family I've seen. I miss them so much, I try not to think about it, because when I do, I start sobbing so hard I struggle to breathe. I miss them so much, words cannot even describe it.
Throughout the course of my life, when drugs didn't sufficiently numb me from the pain of my existence, I tried to commit suicide. I haven't since I got real with myself, and who I am, who God made me to be, but before that I hated myself, I hated myself all of the time. Since I came out, and God revealed Himself to me in ways I'm still trying to comprehend, I've lost my ability to hate. Sometimes I really want to, but I can't. I'd say that's plenty of evidence that the Spirit of God is moving in my life, but there is more. But I realize that it's fruitless to tell you all what God has done for me, and how rock-solid and unshakeable my relationship with Christ is, because you will dismiss all of it.
I know you think this is a choice, and I'm merely confused. How you can be sure of that without knowing me is baffling to me. It's also exceedingly arrogant on your part, that you claim to know me, and claim to know about my private, deeply personal relationship with Christ. Our relationship really is no business of yours, and we don't need, nor do we want your opinion on it. It's something I'm incredibly possessive and protective of. You're aware of the "jealous girlfriend/wife" stereotype I'm sure. I'm her worst freaking nightmare. No one interferes with our relationship. Not even you. So back off, seriously.
Living with this FEAR should never be allowed to happen in this world.
I "pray" the idiotic mentality that feeds HATE and BIGOTRY dies a quick painful death...
It's cute that you think I chose this. That you think I want this. Let me tell you what my life is like. Every time I leave my apartment, I have a giant target on my back. 12 transwomen have been murdered in this country, this year alone. So every time I go anywhere, I wonder in the back of my mind "Am I next?"
Every time I go into a building, I'm automatically scanning for exits, beyond the obvious, in case things get crazy, because like I said, there's a target on my back. There are people that would love to harm me, even kill me, simply because I exist.
But that's the easy stuff. I've only seen my Mother twice in four years. The last time, she came up with an Aunt. That's the only family I've seen. I miss them so much, I try not to think about it, because when I do, I start sobbing so hard I struggle to breathe. I miss them so much, words cannot even describe it.
Throughout the course of my life, when drugs didn't sufficiently numb me from the pain of my existence, I tried to commit suicide. I haven't since I got real with myself, and who I am, who God made me to be, but before that I hated myself, I hated myself all of the time. Since I came out, and God revealed Himself to me in ways I'm still trying to comprehend, I've lost my ability to hate. Sometimes I really want to, but I can't. I'd say that's plenty of evidence that the Spirit of God is moving in my life, but there is more. But I realize that it's fruitless to tell you all what God has done for me, and how rock-solid and unshakeable my relationship with Christ is, because you will dismiss all of it.
I know you think this is a choice, and I'm merely confused. How you can be sure of that without knowing me is baffling to me. It's also exceedingly arrogant on your part, that you claim to know me, and claim to know about my private, deeply personal relationship with Christ. Our relationship really is no business of yours, and we don't need, nor do we want your opinion on it. It's something I'm incredibly possessive and protective of. You're aware of the "jealous girlfriend/wife" stereotype I'm sure. I'm her worst freaking nightmare. No one interferes with our relationship. Not even you. So back off, seriously.
I think you are an awesome young woman, any mother would be proud of. I have no doubt you have a solid relationship with God. You shine.
I am so sorry for the fear and sadness you have had to, and continue to, endure.
It sounds like you've come a long way and have experienced a lot of healing.
Thank you, Pleroo. Last Sunday, someone in church referenced Paul talking about "running the race set before us." God has already dealt with every obstacle I'll face, all I have to do it keep moving forward. I sure wish it was as easy as it sounds though! Haha.
I never....ever....listen to lectures from people with a beam in their eye and a bag of rocks. They cause too much damage, hurt and pain. Read post #212 until it sinks in because your beliefs cause added pain to people like geekigirl. Who is a much-loved child of God.
I just use my own beam to bat their rocks back at them LOL
Your flesh is your master; it tells you what to do, and you do it. But, that way leads to death.
Wow, just saw this gem of a response...You insensitive, judgmental, holier than thou, modern day Pharisee... Honestly, you really just need to stop posting. At this point you are likely making even conservative Christians hate you as much as they hate Westboro. As the old adage goes: Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks your an...um, fill in the blank..
Wow, just saw this gem of a response...You insensitive, judgmental, holier than thou, modern day Pharisee... Honestly, you really just need to stop posting. At this point you are likely making even conservative Christians hate you as much as they hate Westboro. As the old adage goes: Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks your an...um, fill in the blank..
I just use my own beam to bat their rocks back at them LOL
Use the force, geekigurl.
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