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... the teaching both in church and school (parents sent me to Catholic School) was that Catholicism was the one true religion and that individuals from other religious sanctions were not given a place in heaven... .
Catholicism is NOT the one true religion.
Neither is Jehovah's Witness.
You've been around the block, perhaps it's time to look into Protestantism.
and leave knowing its ok to be "confused" with them. Detach with love they say. I am not a "love" kinda guy so I say "detach without malice". It ok not to "love them" but we can be civil anyway, even if they can't.
You leave them. if they can not accept you for who you are then leave.
Shouldn't he be able to accept them for what they are? Try to reach a common grounds for a family relationship not just in effect treat them as he sees them treating him? Really cutting them off act would be worse as they have not cut him off.
Sorry for lack of clearer title... this is a big convoluted question and I'm looking for some advice.
Long story short, I come from a family that was very heavily engrossed in the Catholic religion. However, since I was 16 or so, I moved away from Catholicism, and organized religion in general, because I found it entirely too political and hypocritical. All these religions out there and all they want to do is put everyone else down (other religions) and raise themselves up. I remain spiritual, a believer of god, and pray on a regular basis, but at the current time I simply don't believe in organized religion. My wife also comes from a similar situation though her family's background is Jehovah's Witnesses. She has the same take on religion as me and we live our lives as such.
The last several years have been difficult. My Catholic family members will not relent with trying to "bring us back to the faith and to save our souls". While I love my family, they are unbearable with always bringing up a conversation of why we don't go to church, or why we weren't married by a priest, or how I need to get my wife christened into Catholicism or she will "not be saved" in the next life. (Terrible and yes they really said that - I was very upset!!!) I cannot have a simple conversation with them without it devolving into an eventual interrogation about my distance from the Catholic faith. At first I used to explain my reasoning, but they just said that I was confused and told me those thoughts were the devil's evil putting that doubt in my mind. I wish I could say I was making this stuff up, but sadly I am not!! They constantly worry for my spiritual well being and feel genuinely fearful that their son, nephew, cousin, grandchild, etc has been taken to the devil's side.... Now when the conversation comes up, I just tell them I will think about it (going back to church or something) and that generally appeases them for a short while.
Unfortunately though, things have taken a turn for the worse since we are expecting our first child. My family will absolutely not let on the subject of us choosing not to baptize our baby. Our reasoning is very simple. We plan to bring our child up with an education of god and religion, but do not want to indoctrinate our child unwillingly into a religion. When they are older, if they want to join the Catholic religion, they can make that choice and go get baptized. My family will not hear any of it. So far I've heard remarks from them from everything to "Your baby will go to hell if he dies", to "You're setting your child up to be a vessel for the devil", to even the unbelievable, "We will disown you and your child from the family since you are going down a dark path".... The worst part about this is, I don't even feel my family are bad people, they were always there for me growing up and my parents took great care of me. However, for whatever reason they are acting like insane and zealous religion fanatics!
So how I can deal with them? We are remaining firm with our decision not to baptize and what not, but the more I stand firm the more I feel my family is gravely disappointed with us. The issue lies mostly with my Catholic family members, sadly a lot from my own mom which makes the remarks sting quite deep because I know her to be a good mother, but even my wife's Jehovah Witness mother is on a similar mission to recruit us to their religion.
Any thoughts on this matter?
My wife and I converted from Catholicism to JWs and can relate on some level with what you are going through. Family reunions means we are in the presence of Christians because as far as some relatives are concerned JWs aren't Christians. In any case here are some ideas: 1) Try to have reunions with activities such as bowling, billiards, museums, visits to the zoo, poker or card games, sporting events, dining out. It provides subject matter to talk about other than religion;2) Be honest but tactful with your feelings. If what you hear is making you and your wife agitated, angry or both remind your relatives, mom, dad whomever that your visits are too brief to spend time arguing about topics you will not agree on and that you'd rather focus on spending quality time building beautiful memories (picture taking moments particularly with mom or aunts can lessen the tension... nothing like hamming it up for the camera or cell phone in my case);3) Some jabs or comments just aren't worth responding to and when you don't respond and switch to another topic its a definite signal you are not interested in the topic and its time to move on;4) Everyone feels they have it right. That's to be expected. People wouldn't be devout this or that if they didn't sincerely believe the faith they follow is the right one. My wife and I are no exception so why shouldn't we understand that our relatives feel that way as well. The actions of your relatives may be off putting and actually counterproductive but the intention is not to hurt but to "save" you and your wife. The last time my brother in law and his wife came we found tiny wood crosses glued on both inside and outside the house. It didn't make me angry and again I understand what they were trying to accomplish. Plus, it served as a means to explain why we don't use idols in our worship on a follow up call; 5) Arguing about why your relative is wrong and your right wont do much good. Instead try to turn it into a conversation about how you respect their beliefs but would like to have your beliefs respected as well. It's a much easier conversation to have than proving yourself right and them wrong. Anyway just my two cents.
Sorry for lack of clearer title... this is a big convoluted question and I'm looking for some advice.
Long story short, I come from a family that was very heavily engrossed in the Catholic religion. However, since I was 16 or so, I moved away from Catholicism, and organized religion in general, because I found it entirely too political and hypocritical. All these religions out there and all they want to do is put everyone else down (other religions) and raise themselves up. I remain spiritual, a believer of god, and pray on a regular basis, but at the current time I simply don't believe in organized religion. My wife also comes from a similar situation though her family's background is Jehovah's Witnesses. She has the same take on religion as me and we live our lives as such.
The last several years have been difficult. My Catholic family members will not relent with trying to "bring us back to the faith and to save our souls". While I love my family, they are unbearable with always bringing up a conversation of why we don't go to church, or why we weren't married by a priest, or how I need to get my wife christened into Catholicism or she will "not be saved" in the next life. (Terrible and yes they really said that - I was very upset!!!) I cannot have a simple conversation with them without it devolving into an eventual interrogation about my distance from the Catholic faith. At first I used to explain my reasoning, but they just said that I was confused and told me those thoughts were the devil's evil putting that doubt in my mind. I wish I could say I was making this stuff up, but sadly I am not!! They constantly worry for my spiritual well being and feel genuinely fearful that their son, nephew, cousin, grandchild, etc has been taken to the devil's side.... Now when the conversation comes up, I just tell them I will think about it (going back to church or something) and that generally appeases them for a short while.
Unfortunately though, things have taken a turn for the worse since we are expecting our first child. My family will absolutely not let on the subject of us choosing not to baptize our baby. Our reasoning is very simple. We plan to bring our child up with an education of god and religion, but do not want to indoctrinate our child unwillingly into a religion. When they are older, if they want to join the Catholic religion, they can make that choice and go get baptized. My family will not hear any of it. So far I've heard remarks from them from everything to "Your baby will go to hell if he dies", to "You're setting your child up to be a vessel for the devil", to even the unbelievable, "We will disown you and your child from the family since you are going down a dark path".... The worst part about this is, I don't even feel my family are bad people, they were always there for me growing up and my parents took great care of me. However, for whatever reason they are acting like insane and zealous religion fanatics!
So how I can deal with them? We are remaining firm with our decision not to baptize and what not, but the more I stand firm the more I feel my family is gravely disappointed with us. The issue lies mostly with my Catholic family members, sadly a lot from my own mom which makes the remarks sting quite deep because I know her to be a good mother, but even my wife's Jehovah Witness mother is on a similar mission to recruit us to their religion.
Any thoughts on this matter?
I'd be telling them please don't worry about us, we both have the peace in hearts and are secure in the love of God, something that religious folk who try and force you into their fold do not have. So that in itself will be a witness to them when they pressure you to return to their fold.
My wife and I converted from Catholicism to JWs and can relate on some level with what you are going through. Family reunions means we are in the presence of Christians because as far as some relatives are concerned JWs aren't Christians. In any case here are some ideas: 1) Try to have reunions with activities such as bowling, billiards, museums, visits to the zoo, poker or card games, sporting events, dining out. It provides subject matter to talk about other than religion;2) Be honest but tactful with your feelings. If what you hear is making you and your wife agitated, angry or both remind your relatives, mom, dad whomever that your visits are too brief to spend time arguing about topics you will not agree on and that you'd rather focus on spending quality time building beautiful memories (picture taking moments particularly with mom or aunts can lessen the tension... nothing like hamming it up for the camera or cell phone in my case);3) Some jabs or comments just aren't worth responding to and when you don't respond and switch to another topic its a definite signal you are not interested in the topic and its time to move on;4) Everyone feels they have it right. That's to be expected. People wouldn't be devout this or that if they didn't sincerely believe the faith they follow is the right one. My wife and I are no exception so why shouldn't we understand that our relatives feel that way as well. The actions of your relatives may be off putting and actually counterproductive but the intention is not to hurt but to "save" you and your wife. The last time my brother in law and his wife came we found tiny wood crosses glued on both inside and outside the house. It didn't make me angry and again I understand what they were trying to accomplish. Plus, it served as a means to explain why we don't use idols in our worship on a follow up call; 5) Arguing about why your relative is wrong and your right wont do much good. Instead try to turn it into a conversation about how you respect their beliefs but would like to have your beliefs respected as well. It's a much easier conversation to have than proving yourself right and them wrong. Anyway just my two cents.
This really doesn't seem to be what a Catholic would do, gluing crosses anywhere.
Also, I think you need an update on what Catholics believe, we don't believe in idols. IMO it would be a good idea for you to listen to Catholic Answers either on the radio or on youtube. You may have many misconceptions of what the Catholic Church believes. You can go to www.youtube.com , then to Catholic answers. Search do Catholics believe in idols and they will have the answers for you.
This really doesn't seem to be what a Catholic would do, gluing crosses anywhere.
Also, I think you need an update on what Catholics believe, we don't believe in idols. IMO it would be a good idea for you to listen to Catholic Answers either on the radio or on youtube. You may have many misconceptions of what the Catholic Church believes. You can go to www.youtube.com , then to Catholic answers. Search do Catholics believe in idols and they will have the answers for you.
Catholics are a diverse bunch and my wife and I were raised Catholic. Having visited other countries with a sizable Catholic population as well as having relatives from overseas who are Catholic it is readily apparent that local customs and traditions weigh heavily on how Catholicism is practiced. I don't want to stray off topic and your experience may be different than that of my wife or I however that is likely due to cultural differences and doesn't invalidate my experience nor yours.
Catholics are a diverse bunch and my wife and I were raised Catholic. Having visited other countries with a sizable Catholic population as well as having relatives from overseas who are Catholic it is readily apparent that local customs and traditions weigh heavily on how Catholicism is practiced. I don't want to stray off topic and your experience may be different than that of my wife or I however that is likely due to cultural differences and doesn't invalidate my experience nor yours.
Well that's true but if you think Catholics worship idols then that is your misunderstanding. Going to the source to find out the truth of the religion can't hurt and as I said maybe you have not been taught much about your religion before you left it.
Well that's true but if you think Catholics worship idols then that is your misunderstanding. Going to the source to find out the truth of the religion can't hurt and as I said maybe you have not been taught much about your religion before you left it.
Oh man, I totally forgot to mention all the crosses and religious pictures/statues my mom either sends us or puts up in our house when she comes to visit. I have 6 medium sized crucifixes sitting in a box ready to donate or something because my mom keeps sending them to hang up. "One in every room!" she says... When she comes over, she has set up religious statues, christmas nativity scenes, and other religious paintings. Her last visit, she brought a portrait picture of the Lady Fatima (I think) crying. It is a really disturbing and depressing picture.... She would not let us take it down while she was staying, but we've thankfully taken it down and stored it with the crucifixes for now since she has left.
I also recently found the willpower to get rid of about 50 of those holy palm crosses you make at Easter every year. My mom would send me about a dozen every year and tell it was a sin to throw them away since they are blessed. "They are blessed by God and you wouldn't throw God's blessing into the trash, would you!!" she would say and make me feel guilty. Finally enough was enough and I dumped them.
All and all, I have a large tote box with enough religious items I could furnish a small chapel...
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