Letting go of those we love (funeral, pray, blood, faith)

[I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA]

Originally Posted by mams1559

YouTube - Mark Harris - Wish You Were Here

I take this as a message from the one that passed to those still living. Take comfort in its message.

Personally, my father's death in 1998 was the hardest to deal with in my short lifetime. I was 25. We had a rough and rocky relationship until about 2 years before he died. We finally reconciled and were reconnecting. I cherish those two years.

He passed somewhat unexpectedly. He was in an auto accident in whch he sustained a broken neck and was paralyzed and other internal injuries. He hung on for 2 weeks before his heart finally gave up. He couldn't talk during that time. He was alert for the first week and not at all for the second. I went every day and talked with him, especially regarding his salvation, of which I was unsure of his.

That's what make it so hard... the not knowing. So, how did I deal with it? I didn't. God did for me. I had to turn it over to Him because it was driving me into despair and depression. I kept beating myself up for not dealing with this topic when he was alive and well. I suppose that falls into the regret column. There are many where it concerns my dad. But, once again, I just had to give them over to God.

God took those issues from me, freed me from my guilt and replaced it with peace. I am now at peace regarding my dad's eternal fate. I've recevied several assurances that yes, dad was in fact saved from different and sometimes unexpected sources. That just reaffirms the peace God already gave me.

If there are any, and I mean ANY, unresolved issues between you and someone you love, deal with them now. Immediately. Deal with the pain or fear or whatever is keeping you from acting on it and DO IT! Because once they are gone it's much harder to handle than you think. I speak from experience.

God is our strength and our comfort. Any time we need to deal with the death of anyone - believer or not - we as Christians can rely on God. He will carry us through it all. That's all that we can hope for. And when He does, it's much more than we could ever expect.

What a beautiful post mams, thanks for sharing your story. There is no greater expression of trust in God than to say, Father, I can't, but I know You can and You will.

[Tricky D]

I've lost my father to a heart attack 6 years ago, but I've mourned the death of all the people that I loved when I was around the age of 18, when my father was diagnosed with bowel cancer. In the 80's having cancer meant a certain death.
Death is a part of live and denying it would be like denying life itself.
I live in the comfort that my father lives on in me; most of the times I ask myself what my father would do.
Not that I would do the same, but thinking like this is the same to me as having a conversation with him when he was still alive.
My father and me don't always have the same opinion when he was alive, so why should it be any different now that he has passed away? But the good thing is that we always talked, even when we knew from the start that we would disagree.

[Blueberry]

Originally Posted by mams1559

God took those issues from me, freed me from my guilt and replaced it with peace. I am now at peace regarding my dad's eternal fate. I've recevied several assurances that yes, dad was in fact saved from different and sometimes unexpected sources. That just reaffirms the peace God already gave me.

If there are any, and I mean ANY, unresolved issues between you and someone you love, deal with them now. Immediately. Deal with the pain or fear or whatever is keeping you from acting on it and DO IT! Because once they are gone it's much harder to handle than you think. I speak from experience.

God is our strength and our comfort. Any time we need to deal with the death of anyone - believer or not - we as Christians can rely on God. He will carry us through it all. That's all that we can hope for. And when He does, it's much more than we could ever expect.

Originally posted by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA:
There is no greater expression of trust in God than to say, Father, I can't, but I know You can and You will.

Beautiful and wise words!

-------

Sometimes, it's too late to make amends or seek reconciliation. There are various ways of dealing with this. I've heard of people doing like Tricky D (not that he needed to make amends with his father) and holding "conversations." Others write letters that they know can never be delivered, but at least they can express their feelings directly to the departed. Some talk it out with a trusted counselor, friend, or family member. Many journal or write poetry or music. Others try to "get inside" the mind of the deceased by reading old letters and journals. Yet others take pilgrimages important to one or both. Many immerse themselves in activities they enjoy or in the activities they once shared with their loved one. All of these activities can be very constructive and beneficial.

Sadly, some turn to alcohol or drugs or some other destructive behavior because they can't get beyond the regrets or beyond the pain and loneliness. Others wither and shrink within themselves. A few let anger poison their memories of their loved ones. Anger can poison relationships with those still living. And . . . anger will often turn them against God.

Like Mams said, the best course of action is to try to deal with issues before it is too late. When that's impossible, we need to turn it over to God, and we need to listen to God. Seek solace in His Word, and seek the truth and peace that sometimes only He can bring. Don't listen to lies even if they are coming from someone we love and/or respect, and certainly don't listen to the lies that Satan will attempt to implant in our minds.

I'll repeat what ILNC said because it's so true: "There is no greater expression of trust in God than to say, Father, I can't, but I know You can and You will." Trust Him one step at a time, and let Him carry you when you don't have the strength to carry on.

[TreeLady]

I have been fortunate not to have lost anyone close to me yet. But I can imagine what pain I would feel to lose someone i love.
I like to believe that when someone we know leaves this place that they go on somewhere else. That when it comes to energy and love we never really lose them. They are always with us. I constantly have to tell my self that.
If someone makes your life more beautiful, bask in that knowledge. The better part of death is that it brings people together. It makes you value the people still here. Its hard to let go, and to move on but when you do theres light in places you didn't have before. Memories of them long forgotten that make you smile, or cry, or both.

[Pikantari]

So many of us have lost.... You know what? Those memories... they mean the world to me... The childhood memories.. going to the hardware store with my dad...

They make me smile. I am sitting here smiling, just thinking of it. I would hide behind one of the sample doors and say,"Daddy! Try and find me!"


Where is my little girl, he would say, I can't find her. Opening and closing the doors. Coming just near me. Oh, I guess I will just have to go home with out her!

No Daddy! I am right here...

[Miss Blue]

I lost my mother to emphasyma and Dad to colon cancer within three years of each other. Both had made mistakes in raising 4 children. There was another brother who was not mentioned unless dad was angry..It remained a mystery why Dad called him Sandy,but Grandma and other family members called him Kenneth.(another story).There were many problems with poverty, hunger, and anger which brought on name callings and beatings..My siblings who were raised with me never forgave my parents..They blamed them,and still do for everything wrong in their lives today.(we are all in our 60's).I loved my mother, she sang to us after tucking us in at night, she did her best to protect us from Dads anger, she did without meals herself to make sure we got enough..Dad was always there for us when we were ill..He sat up with us when we had toothaches or earaches..My siblings blocked the good things about our parents from their mindsAs Mom and Dad aged they became such loving parents and great grandparemnts, my siblings never noticed..I did..I have always believed in God and tried to see the good in everyone..I got along with Mom and Dad and never blamed them, my children loved them..I did not grieve when they died, because I knew that they were in a far better place this world and the struggles they had here.. I missed them and still do..My siblings still have never changed about how they feel about our parents..I pray for them to have a spirit of forgiveness so their lives will be better.

[ShanaBrown]

The experience of my fathers and mothers deaths were so very different in every way. I left my mothers room for just two minutes and she passed. Like she waited for me to leave, like she had been waiting all day.

Hi, I have lost six close family members over the past 10 years, most recently mother, almost 2 years ago. I took care of my mother for about 10 years after she had two strokes and I was with her when she passed. I had gone to work to drop off some papers and told her that I would be right back but I did not know that she would be leaving that day, her birthday. I think that she was waiting for me to get back. I had always wanted to be with her when she left just to be there to say good bye and to let her know how much we all loved her and so I had always visualized this in my mind and heart. And when it happened it was if she just went to sleep and all the time I was telling her what a great mother she had been and how much we all loved her. I believe that God allowed this to happen for the both of us and I have been able to tell other family members that she did not seem to be in pain. I dream about her just about every night now and they are always good dreams but I miss her so much. Sometimes I will start crying for no reason but in my heart I know that she is resting with the Lord and will awaken one day when we will all be together with Him. God bless.

[weatherologist]

I wanted to share my story on death and how it has effected me and also how it has changed over my life and with my faith and trust in our Lord.

My first experience with death was when I was 12. My grandfather died of a heartattack. There was no warning. One day he is a healthy man the next he comes in from shoveling snow, sits down and requests a glass of water and when his wife returns with it, he has gone to meet his maker. She was very much in love with him, I cannot imagine how that must have broke her heart.

Grandfather's funeral was an open casket. My memories are terrible. They did a terrible job at preserving him. To me, he looked dead. His mouth was not right, his color was off, but he was my grandfather, that much I could see. I remember grandma clinging to him, crying and having to be torn away. It is an awful memory and as I write it, it brings sadness to my heart. My grandmother has since gone to meet him. I am sure that they are holding hands in heaven. She never remarried. She did go on with her life. But whenever I saw her, she would tell me how very much she loved and missed him. The last time that I spoke with her she was ready to leave this world. She was lonely and she missed soooo many people who had gone before her. I pray for my grandmother's peace. I pray that she and my grandfather are together and still in love.

Later in life, when death entered in again for me, I was still not prepared. At my grandmother's funeral (again an open casket) I refused to enter the room until the casket had been closed. Although I had faith in God and I believed in heaven, death was very sad and very final for me. It was not until I met my (now) husband that death began to take on a new feeling for me. I could see death for what it was. Death (for the believer) is only a death of the body. A death to this world. But it is life more than death. It brings us life in the Kingdom of Heaven. It brings us an eternal life with our Lord and Saviour. Death is not the end, but rather the beginning. Since I began life with my husband, I have experienced many deaths. Even the death of my own father. And while these deaths have brought on sadness for my own loss, they have also brought joy for their new beginning. I have found that my children (although they have not personally experienced death in their own lives...my father, yes, but they are still so young) see death pretty much the same way. When they speak of death, it is not so much that a person has died as it is that the person has gone to live with Jesus. My children understand death as just a part of life. They know that it can come at any time and I hope that when they do have to experience it in their lives, that I have done a good job of preparing them.

A final personal note...I have been to several open casket funerals since I had this transition of heart. I have been able to approach the casket and say a prayer for the soul that is no longer there.

I wish you all well and pray that you will find peace when the time comes that your loved ones go on to live with our Lord.

[june 7th]

"...now, as life begins to fade
And I stand by my dear one's grave
I know I may knock at heaven's gate,
For wasn't I loved by you?"

[joedrsaved]

My personal sympathies to all who are dealing with the passing of a loved one.

The most traumatic such event in my life was when Mom suddenly passed. No warning. A blood vessel ruptured in her brain.

In private I cryed tears to GOD and begged Him to raise Mamma from the dead. I knew JESUS is the Ressurection and just one simple command from Him would result in Moms return. I told no one about my prayer and was determined to believe with absolute faith.

About two weeks after her funeral, my nephew told me that he had dreamed about his grandma, my mother. I ask him to tell me the dream. He said that in the dream, he was at her funeral, when suddenly she sat up in the casket and said, "I don't want to come back down here. It's dirty down here." Then she layed back down in the casket.

Right away I knew the LORD had sent a message to me with that dream to my 10 yr old nephew. And after thinking about it, no, Mom would not want to leave heaven and return to this world.

Thank you JESUS!