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I was gonna ask this question a few weeks ago and really never got around to it, but over the weekend we attended a church with some family members and the same question hit me when I walked in the door there as it does in many churches that Ive been to, and that question is...where are all the young families at? Where are all the Young men? Maybe I pay too much attention idk, but over the last 4-5 years Ive noticed that in alot of churches in my area at least that congregations are mostly made up of the 55 and over age.
At the last church where I was leading the youth, there were only 2 other couples in the WHOLE church in mine and my wifes age group. Im just wondering if it is like that everywhere or is it just here? and if it is everywhere, what can we do about? Young adults aren't sticking with church - USATODAY.com
* I have ideas but I would like to see what others think
Last edited by arguy1973; 04-29-2008 at 08:02 AM..
Reason: forgot a word
the church i went to in NJ--EVERYONE was 50 and over except me.
the church we attend now is all mixed but lots of young familes. they also have a school, so that is probably why.
i loved my old church, but i do like the new one too because the younger people bring things that the old church didnt. they go on missions, and the church is always full, there are fundraisers and there is just more vibrancy.
Young people hate hypocrisy. They can often see this much clearer in the rest of us then we can see ourselves, or would like to admit. I think the fact that many just aren't seeing verification between the way we talk on Sunday and the way we life Mon-Sat, with genuine Spirit-filled joyful living replaced with empty form, makes the whole thing seem rather useless.
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The statistics on young people staying in church after they leave their parent's home is very sad. Something like 90% will drop out of church. This isn't a recent phenomenon, but it has been going on for awhile.
I've seen two predominant theories as to the reason. The first is simply that most youth from Christian homes are the product of their education. They have been bombarded for six hours a day, every day for 12 years, with secular ideas. Most parents don't have a clue about what is being taught in their children's classrooms let alone the subtle influences of all the "feel good" stuff they're exposed to daily. Combine that with the very secular influence of today's entertainment, and it's no wonder youth are abandoning God. Most of the parents I know aren't training up their children in the way they should go. They are letting someone else do the job, and they expect the 1-2 hours of youth activities a week to be be sufficient to combat the world's influence.
The second theory relates to how Christians "do church." There are very few family oriented activities at church where the young people get to see adults living out their faith. Most youth activities are aimed at entertainment rather than teaching and discipleship, and most are filled with "feel good" activities rather than activities that will truly encourage a closer walk with God. Furthermore, most teen programs are headed by young adults who don't have the life experiences of older adults. Therefore, teens don't have the role models who can show them how to "grow up" in their faith and walk close to Jesus as they face the challenges of the world. Oftentimes, older adults and/or parents are rebuffed when they express a desire to participate in teen activities.
From personal observation, I'd say that we live in an age segregated society. From preschool up, children are sorted by age and rarely interact with people outside of their age segregated strata. In most classrooms, children are taught rivalry with the other grades/classes in the guise of "team spirit." We end up breeding a generation or two of young people who don't know how to interact with those outside their peer group. If you pay attention in a church that does have a variety of ages, I'd be willing to bet that the young adults are chatting amongst themselves after church, the 30 somethings are talking to other 30 somethings, and so on up the chain.
My husband and I are usually 8-12 years older than the parents of our daughter's friends. You would think that with children as a common interest, we'd be mixing well together. However, the younger people don't know what to do with anyone older than themselves. Even more sad, most don't want to make friends with those older than themselves because the younger ones don't want to feel old themselves. Some of these younger adults have been absolutely appalled that dh and I have personal friends (not acquaintances) that are 10-20 years older than us. We have actually sat in the same room with these younger adults (think Bible studies and fellowship) and been totally ostracized simply because we're older. Others in our age bracket and older have related similar experiences.
I contrast that to the church I attended as a teen. That church had many older adults actively involved in the youth program and, on any given Sunday after church or during fellowship time, it wasn't unusual to see an adult or two interacting with the teens. There were no age barriers. Until churches learn to bridge the generational gap, I don't see much hope for keeping young people in the church.
It seems to me that the younger generation is always looking for entertainment..Many church organizations realize this and have implemented programs to accomodate them..The church I used to attend for example got rid of their older minister and replaced him with a young man and wife just starting their family..The young couple also brought a few other young couples along with children..Some of these children were middle school and high school age..So the church began to take them to amusement parks, began implementing ball teams and bible bowl teams to compete with other churches in the area, so these children invited their friends to come join the great fun they were having at churchThe church began to take up "love offerings to sponsor the childrens outings..The church decided it would be nice to have sex education class for the youngsters in their brand new sunday school classes during Wednesday night prayer meeting, while the parents and "old folks" gathered in the sanctuary for prayer and bible study..IMO it doesn't resemble a Church any more..
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cg81
Young people hate hypocrisy. They can often see this much clearer in the rest of us then we can see ourselves, or would like to admit. I think the fact that many just aren't seeing verification between the way we talk on Sunday and the way we life Mon-Sat, with genuine Spirit-filled joyful living replaced with empty form, makes the whole thing seem rather useless.
Please forgive me for saying this: What a crock! That's just an excuse, and it's one they've learned very well. When people don't want to face the challenge to walk daily with God, they jump on the hypocrisy bandwagon to justify their own actions.
Please forgive me for saying this: What a crock! That's just an excuse, and it's one they've learned very well. When people don't want to face the challenge to walk daily with God, they jump on the hypocrisy bandwagon to justify their own actions.
It is true that hypocrisy seen in others can be used as an excuse (when really it is no excuse).. but I still think that there is a direct relation between the "casualness" creeping over modern-day Christianity and the distaste for religion that this causes in those looking on and trying to make their choices. The bottom line... it's our fault, not theirs.
...but I still think that there is a direct relation between the "casualness" creeping over modern-day Christianity and the distaste for religion that this causes in those looking on and trying to make their choices.
This may be true for the young people who are seeking out a place of worship.
But, if I may speak for young people who want nothing to do with church (myself included), it is not the "casualness" about Christianity that chases them away. Rather, it is that many evangelical churches seem too extreme in their views and practices.
Ill give personal account here and see what others think..a young family joins a church and begins to get involved, they see a need for an outreach program, or see a way maybe the church could bring in more people their age, instead of others wanting to help and IMHO letting the Holy Spirit guide them, the older church members resist letting any new ideas or thoughts (Im talking about ideas and thoughts that are Biblical) take any root or do their best to limit any actions that might bother or hinder the status quo. A young man says I want to start a prison ministry, instead of supporting the young man, the church says, lets vote on it, lets make sure that we wont be bothered with it, and then the young man finds himself alone in that ministry. I know thats not always the case, but thats just one scenario that i have seen cause someone to leave a church.
I know arguments could be made for both sides here, im just saying.
This may be true for the young people who are seeking out a place of worship.
But, if I may speak for young people who want nothing to do with church (myself included), it is not the "casualness" about Christianity that chases them away. Rather, it is that many evangelical churches seem too extreme in their views and practices.
Good points. I agree, there are two sides to this.. those Christians who just want to say "it's all good" and those that want to go to the other side and say "it's all bad". What I was meaning by "casualness" was really supposed to encompass both views.. a lack of genuinely following Christ. Showing true love, yet self-discipline. Genuinely caring about your brother in the church and your neighbor. Putting others first. Rejecting judgemental and hateful attitudes, and at the same time showing by your life what you believe.
Is this an extreme view?
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The church began to take up "love offerings to sponsor the childrens outings..The church decided it would be nice to have sex education class for the youngsters in their brand new sunday school classes during Wednesday night prayer meeting, while the parents and "old folks" gathered in the sanctuary for prayer and bible study..IMO it doesn't resemble a Church any more..
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