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Old 05-08-2008, 11:35 AM
 
67 posts, read 252,018 times
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Default God's view on infidelity in marriage and divorce

I am a new Christian and the friend who led me to the Lord has just discovered that her husband has been having an affair for many months now. She is not going to let Satan win this one. I have questions though. What does the bible say about divorce when infidelity occurs. I know He does not like to see marriage end in divorce, nor do I even think my friend is considering this. I also do not know if the husband will ask for a divorce (both are Christian). I just want to be more educated and compassionate. I'd welcome any feedback on the subject!
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Old 05-08-2008, 11:49 AM
 
12,346 posts, read 14,139,333 times
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Default Scripture from NT about divorce

MAT 5:31 "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a
certificate of divorce.'

32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital
unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries
the divorced woman commits adultery.

19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for
a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made
them male and female,'

5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?

6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate."

7 "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a
certificate of divorce and send her away?"

8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your
hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital
unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

LUK 16:18 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits
adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1CO 7:10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife
must not separate from her husband.

11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her
husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who
is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce
her.

13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to
live with her, she must not divorce him.

14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and
the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.
Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman
is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

I will not comment on interpretation of these scriptures, I just wanted to post them for your information..
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Old 05-08-2008, 12:04 PM
 
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Matt 5:31 is nice. God doesn't want to see divorce he hates it.

There are many verses that talk about it. As you can see divorce is not meant to be. It goes against God’s original plan. Nonetheless, He does allow it in certain instances. But by all means try to salvage it at all costs. It will be a painful road but through God all things are possible. Your friend will not be the first or the last to go through this. Tell her to hang in there, seek help first from God, then her pastor or even professional help. No one ever wants to go through this, but we can make it. Pray about it with her, for her, all the time ask God for the strength to get her through this.

Malachi 2:16
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your
spirit, and do not break faith.

This is one of reasons it's ok. Not that you want to but there are reason you can.
Matthew 5:32
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.


Matthew 19:7
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"


Matthew 19:8
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.


Your in our prayers..

In Christ,
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Old 05-08-2008, 11:05 PM
 
Location: In Sticky San Antonio TX
1,056 posts, read 1,263,430 times
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Within the context of the information provided above, the wife cannot divorce the husband - the husband is always divorcing the wife for unfaithfulness. The texts as written speak nothing of women divorcing men, which for me requires a more contemporary read of how infidelity or maintaining holy vows are defined. I do not support divorce but I will recommend it when there is a pattern of abuse, degradation, etc. that is contrary to cherish, esteem, honor, and obey. We are called to peace.

There are few ministers who will lean towards divorce b/c of these scriptures - at the same time, many will look at reunification in spite of the odds against it due to abusiveness. In short, a cleric may not provide an objective, balanced view. I think such issues as safety, domination, and inequality become key in such decisions. And yes, that is a possibility even among Christian people, even with spirit inspired people.

Everything is not always what it seems. Key historical events in marriages set precedents for such behaviors. This is not to condone it, but set it in relationship to place, time, and circumstance.
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Old 05-09-2008, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Hot-Houston Texas
19,979 posts, read 19,766,076 times
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Yes God hates divorce but He does allow it certain circumstances. There are two biblical grounds for divorce. The first is sexual immorality, the second is if a Christian is married to an unbeliever who wants out of the marriage. This is for both men and women.
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Old 08-08-2009, 10:51 AM
 
71 posts, read 92,613 times
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Hi, I posted a response and I don't think it appeared because I was not registered. If this is a duplication I apologize. I completely agree with Kin Atom's response. We must be able to apply Scripture to today's world. Demographics have changed dramatically even over the past 100 years. In response to God hates divorce, God also wants us to be happy. Why would a non-believer choose to come to Christ when they see Christian's as unhappy people? An unhappy marriage leads to unhappy relationships with our children and those we love. We are now a very educated society. We know how damaging it is to remain in unhappy marriages. The issue I have with fundamentalist views on divorce is the negative impact on the family in today's society and how poorly this approach prepares one for the real world - ie, to take this approach ill prepares one to apply Scripture to life as it is today. I have firsthand experience with this. I attended a Christian school and for many years fell away from God because I was not able to understand how to apply God's word to my life. I was married at 16 and in a very bad relationship - depressed and unhappy all the time. During 10 years of marriage I prayed for healing in the marriage and constantly blamed myself for not being a good wife according to scripture, After I had a breakdown I left the marriage and was very resentful towards God for "making" me stay in an unhappy relationship. Now I understand it was my inability to apply God's word to my situation - my closed mind that kept me in the situation. The Bible also tells us storing resentment in one's heart is wrong. Unfortunately staying in a marriage with someone else who makes you miserable stores feelings of anger and resentment. God dislikes these feelings as well. Thank you,
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Old 08-08-2009, 11:12 AM
 
Location: fla
1,512 posts, read 1,836,870 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA View Post
Yes God hates divorce but He does allow it certain circumstances. There are two biblical grounds for divorce. The first is sexual immorality, the second is if a Christian is married to an unbeliever who wants out of the marriage. This is for both men and women.
thanks for the info--my ex fit both categories--but he initiated the divorce---became threatening---so i just let it happen--my religion forbids me to remarry---wish that were different
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Old 07-24-2011, 08:23 PM
 
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My husband has a cheating heart, I don't have proof that he has ever actually been sexually unfaithfull but I do know for a fact that he solicits other women. I am miserable, we have been together for 20 years and have 3 children who I love very much. I don't know what to do, I am always watching my back with him because he is also a compulsive liar and we will steal from me and think it is ok because we are married. To all believers reading this, please pray for me, he has been my everything and my only since high school and even then I knew he was no good for me.
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Old 07-24-2011, 09:56 PM
 
21,840 posts, read 9,713,172 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by returningtonepa??? View Post
thanks for the info--my ex fit both categories--but he initiated the divorce---became threatening---so i just let it happen--my religion forbids me to remarry---wish that were different
Well . . . it is a good thing God does NOT forbid it. When will we stop applying anachronistic ancient cultural practices and beliefs to modern society. Whatever you do with the rest of your life . . . just make sure that you are doing it sincerely in "love of God and each other" and you will be fine. All the other rules and crap are irrelevant. It is all human vanity and hubris pretending to speak for God. You have a personal relationship with Him and He will guide you with love to what God has truly "written in our hearts" . . . not the ancient ignorance "written in ink."
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Old 07-25-2011, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, BC
823 posts, read 579,353 times
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The day my youngest son was diagnosed with OCD the psychiatrist at the Children's hospital told me that in talking to my son (who was in elementary school at the time) that his Father's excessive drinking was taking its toll on my son. I left my husband, with my 2 children in 1999 after one year of co-dependency counselling and trying to get my ex to understand and confront his addiction and what it was doing to his family.

I just remarried last month to a wonderful man whom I love very much.

We were married in a Church and prior to our marriage we met with our pastor and I discussed remarriage with him. He told me that my ex husband decided to put alcohol before me and our children and thus he had an affair with the booze. I know in my heart that God knows that I did what I had to do to provide my children with a healthy, loving home. I also know that I do not deserve to live a life alone because of my ex-husband's addiction. He was unfaithful to his family and broke his marital obligations.

God loves each and every one of his children. It is up to us as parents to ensure that we look after God's children who are gifts to us. I have been asking God for his Divine Love for many years and he has guided me so that my soul will know how to decipher what is right and what is wrong.

I have never ever felt that I made the wrong choice and I have always known that God fully understood what I had to do - but it was interesting also to hear what our pastor had to say.

God Bless you Aponeil in your relationship with God our Father and I encourage you to pray for God’s Divine Love daily… your relationship with Him is most important!
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