Single Christian Men: Intimidated by Christian women with MAs/PhDs? (believer, Moses)

[arguy1973]

after reading this thread, Im gonna enroll my wife in college this afternoon...she just dont know it yet..


I joke i joke

[truckzter]

Originally Posted by arguy1973

after reading this thread, Im gonna enroll my wife in college this afternoon...she just dont know it yet..


I joke i joke

You're not planning on quiting your job are you? You might have to take care of the kids! [provided you have them]

Actually, my best friend's husband wants to be Mr. Mom when they have kids. He loves kids, and although he is an engineer with a great job, he would rather quit his job and stay home. And she (the wife) doesn't mind because she wants to work!

[arguy1973]

Originally Posted by truckzter

You're not planning on quiting your job are you? You might have to take care of the kids! [provided you have them]

Actually, my best friend's husband wants to be Mr. Mom when they have kids. He loves kids, and although he is an engineer with a great job, he would rather quit his job and stay home. And she (the wife) doesn't mind because she wants to work!

No, but I did tell my wife that if she would get a part time job to go along with the one she has I could stay home..Of course I was joking
I think If two people are in a relationship where theres no "me only" attitude, it doesnt matter who has the better job or who gets to stay home. Both people will be working towards the same goal without any jealousy toward what the spouse gets to do, husband or wife.

[truckzter]

Originally Posted by arguy1973

No, but I did tell my wife that if she would get a part time job to go along with the one she has I could stay home..Of course I was joking
I think If two people are in a relationship where theres no "me only" attitude, it doesnt matter who has the better job or who gets to stay home. Both people will be working towards the same goal without any jealousy toward what the spouse gets to do, husband or wife.

Agreed!

[freebird22]

Originally Posted by kmc757

I do not mean to imply women should not go to school or even work under that right circumstances. Just suggesting that you weigh your priorities carefully if you have a choice before you of marriage and children versus career. You asked about guys perceptions. Most are looking for women who will be good mothers. Why marry if you are not going to have children (that's what most guys think, believe it or not)?

I know many, single Christian women (over 40), some with advanced degrees, all will tell you they wish they had pursued marriage over their jobs or extended education. They either had no time for a man and dating or the men perceived them to have no interest in marriage and raising children (perceptions may not be right, but they count).

As to women working in the bible, the bible makes it clears that a wife's first priority is God, her husband, children and then the home. Only if these are fully addressed and within the consent of her husband is she to pursue outside work. This may not be PC in today's world, but much of God's word is not PC in today's world. Christian guys looking for a wife and future mother would be unwise to chose a woman who did not show this level of dedication to marriage and children.

"4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

John MacArthur said the following on this topic:

"There is nothing in Scripture that specifically forbids a woman from working outside the home as long as she is fulfilling her priorities in the home (Proverbs 31).

Whether or not a woman works outside the home, God's primary calling is for her to manage the home. That is the most exalted place for a wife. The world is calling many modern women out of the home, but not the Lord. His Word portrays the woman's role as one preoccupied with domestic duties. It is a high calling, far more crucial to the future of a woman's children than anything she might do in an outside job.

The ultimate decision is a personal one that each woman must make in submission to her husband's authority. Obviously, a single woman would be free to work and pursue outside employment. A married woman with no children is perhaps a little more restricted in the amount of time and energy she can devote to an outside job. A woman who is a mother obviously has primary responsibility in the home and would therefore not be free to pursue outside employment to the detriment of the home. In fact, from a parental perspective it is difficult to see how a mother could possibly do all that needs to be done in the home with the upbringing of children, hospitality, care of the needy, and work for the Lord (cf. 1 Timothy 5:3-14) and still work in an outside job. Indeed, any wife who fulfills God's priorities in her life and home will be a busy lady. However, her children and her husband will rise up and call her blessed, and a woman who fears the LORD shall be praised (Proverbs 31:28,30). "

Found this thread through a search regarding the frustration many women who are successful, smart, and accomplished feel towards relationships in general. First, let's assume these women want children, and on that note, there is nothing that says a woman can't provide for her family as a nurturer and a "breadwinner" simultaneously. Successful, driven females got to where they are by multi-tasking, and going above and beyond the call of duty, as it were. All the rhetoric about a "woman's place" is incredibly patriarchal, reflecting the attitudes of the society in which it was written. God's plan for me as a person and as a woman is to be a physician, which requires much sacrifice, but I am more than capable. I am more than capable of being a nurturer, a healer, a mother, and a wife. It is blatantly obvious to anyone who knows me, and it would be a shame if I ever "gave up" my ambitions to "manage a home" or "take care" of a man. A marriage is a PARTNERSHIP, as is parenting. On that note, the assumption that a woman "submits to her husband's authority" is absolutely ridiculous and devalues a woman's worth and ability. Men and women are created equal and that is how any relationship worth having works. It would be a waste of my God-given abilities and my RIGHTS as a human being to not pursue my education in my profession. Moreso, it would be shame for my children to not benefit from the depth and breadth of my experience as a mother who reached the full potential of her talents.
Ready for something really not PC? I get so PO'ed over this sentiment about the "high calling" of a woman who doesn't work and only takes care of her family, a) as if that were all she were capable of and "can't handle" any more, b) that a male figure has to "convince" a woman of how "high" of a calling it is, as if it makes up for the fact that she "can't" work outside the home (of course... having children is the biggest blessing there is, in fact, only a female who has birthed a child knows this, you're not telling the female race anything new, we know better than males), c) and guess what? children actually need their fathers (science proves it) to be more central in raising them and this doesn't happen if the male is always away from the home "providing" yet not really participating much in his children's social and psychological development. This is why equality makes sense. Partnership makes sense.
It is an insecure (in every sense of the word) male who looks for a woman that is only interested in staying at home, not developing her talents to their potential, not pursuing her interests, not wanting equality. Women are people too, by the way. Forgive me for sounding pandering, but I feel it's warranted: women are not baby-making machines, nor are we vacuum cleaners. We're not made to subserve to males, nor to wait on them. If that's what you want, then buy a robot to watch your children, make you dinner, and "submit to your authority". No woman with any self worth will stand for that.
I am the daughter of two physicians. Both myself and my two siblings were raised and home-schooled by BOTH of our brilliant parents. I am a second-year medical student at the age of 22. My 17 -yr old brother is entering college with a full merit scholarship. My 15-yr old brother is a senior in high school, with a 4.0 GPA. We were all raised with strength, humility, and faith in God. No MAN shall put that asunder.

Peace to you.

[Asthedeer]

Originally Posted by freebird22

Found this thread through a search regarding the frustration many women who are successful, smart, and accomplished feel towards relationships in general. First, let's assume these women want children, and on that note, there is nothing that says a woman can't provide for her family as a nurturer and a "breadwinner" simultaneously. Successful, driven females got to where they are by multi-tasking, and going above and beyond the call of duty, as it were. All the rhetoric about a "woman's place" is incredibly patriarchal, reflecting the attitudes of the society in which it was written. God's plan for me as a person and as a woman is to be a physician, which requires much sacrifice, but I am more than capable. I am more than capable of being a nurturer, a healer, a mother, and a wife. It is blatantly obvious to anyone who knows me, and it would be a shame if I ever "gave up" my ambitions to "manage a home" or "take care" of a man. A marriage is a PARTNERSHIP, as is parenting. On that note, the assumption that a woman "submits to her husband's authority" is absolutely ridiculous and devalues a woman's worth and ability. Men and women are created equal and that is how any relationship worth having works. It would be a waste of my God-given abilities and my RIGHTS as a human being to not pursue my education in my profession. Moreso, it would be shame for my children to not benefit from the depth and breadth of my experience as a mother who reached the full potential of her talents.
Ready for something really not PC? I get so PO'ed over this sentiment about the "high calling" of a woman who doesn't work and only takes care of her family, a) as if that were all she were capable of and "can't handle" any more, b) that a male figure has to "convince" a woman of how "high" of a calling it is, as if it makes up for the fact that she "can't" work outside the home (of course... having children is the biggest blessing there is, in fact, only a female who has birthed a child knows this, you're not telling the female race anything new, we know better than males), c) and guess what? children actually need their fathers (science proves it) to be more central in raising them and this doesn't happen if the male is always away from the home "providing" yet not really participating much in his children's social and psychological development. This is why equality makes sense. Partnership makes sense.
It is an insecure (in every sense of the word) male who looks for a woman that is only interested in staying at home, not developing her talents to their potential, not pursuing her interests, not wanting equality. Women are people too, by the way. Forgive me for sounding pandering, but I feel it's warranted: women are not baby-making machines, nor are we vacuum cleaners. We're not made to subserve to males, nor to wait on them. If that's what you want, then buy a robot to watch your children, make you dinner, and "submit to your authority". No woman with any self worth will stand for that.
I am the daughter of two physicians. Both myself and my two siblings were raised and home-schooled by BOTH of our brilliant parents. I am a second-year medical student at the age of 22. My 17 -yr old brother is entering college with a full merit scholarship. My 15-yr old brother is a senior in high school, with a 4.0 GPA. We were all raised with strength, humility, and faith in God. No MAN shall put that asunder.

Peace to you.

Peace to who? You basically just said women like me are a shame. It is called dying to ones self. If I did what my flesh wanted, I would be out the door somedays and go do what I wanted.

"No woman with any self worth would stand for that", your right my worth comes from Jesus and knowing that I am being His obedient servant, not living this life to please me, but Him alone.

The Word of God is at stake here. What does God say?

Are we going to continue to be PC and blaspheme the Word of God?


Tts 2:4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Tts 2:5[To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

"no man shall put that asunder", not even Christ?

It's funny really the Word of God says the aged women are to teach the younger women these things and I am not even an older woman, but I believe it is my duty to teach women as no aged women seem to be stepping up to the plate. Sad!

Please read this Bible study http://www.thechristianwoman.com/chr...ther-work.html

[Macbeth2003]

Originally Posted by OnOurWay2MO

The Word of God is at stake here. What does God say?

Are we going to continue to be PC and blaspheme the Word of God?

Are we going to insist that our belief is the only correct way of interpreting the word of God, and the vast majority of Christians are wrong?

Are we not going to acknowledge the reality that most families cannot be supported on a single income anymore?

Are we not going to acknowledge that 50% of Christian marriage ends in divorce (and your husband can leave you high and dry with the kids no matter what your views are) and each party needs to be able to support themselves as much as possible in an emergency?

I'm glad your marriage and arrangements work for you and your husband, but not everyone is suited for that. I could not respect my wife if she didn't see herself as my equal nor would I have had any interest in dating a woman who was still controlled by her father and not independent.

And to the OP there are lots of Christian men who value their wife being educated, who value their wife being an equal.
How specific are your requirements? Do you require the husband to be the same denomination as yourself,(and which one is that) or just Christian. Speaking as an Episcopalian I can guarantee you your education would be a plus not a minus to many Episcopal men.

[Asthedeer]

Originally Posted by Macbeth2003

Are we going to insist that our belief is the only correct way of interpreting the word of God, and the vast majority of Christians are wrong?

Are we not going to acknowledge the reality that most families cannot be supported on a single income anymore?

Are we not going to acknowledge that 50% of Christian marriage ends in divorce (and your husband can leave you high and dry with the kids no matter what your views are) and each party needs to be able to support themselves as much as possible in an emergency?

I'm glad your marriage and arrangements work for you and your husband, but not everyone is suited for that. I could not respect my wife if she didn't see herself as my equal nor would I have had any interest in dating a woman who was still controlled by her father and not independent.

And to the OP there are lots of Christian men who value their wife being educated, who value their wife being an equal.
How specific are your requirements? Do you require the husband to be the same denomination as yourself,(and which one is that) or just Christian. Speaking as an Episcopalian I can guarantee you your education would be a plus not a minus to many Episcopal men.

Please do tell how you interpret the verses I posted? People choose to read into things what they want or just blatantly ignore the Word of God.

The majority has always been wrong. Do we forget about Noah and Lot etc.? Around 80% of Americans think they are christians. It is not so, those that do the Father's will are His. Many are called but few chosen.

Most families will not live on a single income anymore because of greed. We manage just fine making sacrifices and not living as the world does. We buy what we need not whatever we want.
There are families out there that live on less than $40K a year with 10+ children my friend, it is a choice.

Ya wanna know why 50% of so called "christian" marriages end in divorce? Because they have left the Father's will! What you sow you will reap. Many are still married in God's eyes and don't even know it.

All you are saying is your opinion, let's read what the Word of God says please. Where do you see that a marriage relationship is equal? It is the same picture we see with Christ and His bride, are we (the body of Believers) equal with Christ? He is the head just as the husband is the head of the wife.
What a comfort and glorious creation our God made.

Eph 5:23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.

[freebird22]

Originally Posted by OnOurWay2MO

Peace to who? You basically just said women like me are a shame. It is called dying to ones self. If I did what my flesh wanted, I would be out the door somedays and go do what I wanted.

"No woman with any self worth would stand for that", your right my worth comes from Jesus and knowing that I am being His obedient servant, not living this life to please me, but Him alone.

The Word of God is at stake here. What does God say?

Are we going to continue to be PC and blaspheme the Word of God?


Tts 2:4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Tts 2:5[To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

"no man shall put that asunder", not even Christ?

It's funny really the Word of God says the aged women are to teach the younger women these things and I am not even an older woman, but I believe it is my duty to teach women as no aged women seem to be stepping up to the plate. Sad!

Please read this Bible study http://www.thechristianwoman.com/chr...ther-work.html

Peace to everyone. I am glad you've found peace in your decision. But I am afraid that you confuse being a servant of the Lord with being a servant of a man. I am a servant of the Lord, and the Lord does not deny anyone the achievement of their full potential in service of Him, be they female, be they male. Personally, my achievements will end up serving vast numbers of people for the sake of humanity and God. It is my calling to be a physician. And if God calls me to be a mother, I will be. Doing both demeans neither one.
Furthermore, I'm assuming you are calling my career "doing what [my] flesh [wants]" ... I cannot even convey the level of sacrifice it takes to pursue the career I am in. I would not choose this path (part of the reason why I believe it has been chosen for me) "just because", "just for fun", just because I can. It is a sacrifice for God, for humanity, for the sake of living up to my potential.

[Nero777]

In regards to the OP's original question, I really don't see a problem with you getting an education before having a family, nor am I in the slightest bit intimidated that you are working to have a PhD, an accomplishment without measure. I find it great that you want to expand your mind and reach beyond normal limitations. Like several others have said on this thread, I believe that as a Christian woman, and a potential wife and mother, you should put God first, then your family, and then your job. The same goes for the men as well. I do stress putting family before work because when you do have kids, you will not want to miss one second of them growing up nor would you want to spend your life teaching and grading knowing that you were missing oppurtunities to share in the greatest moments of your kids' lives. I've seen to many families crumble because of neglecting parents and as long as you have family before work, then go for that PhD and become something more. You'll find the right guy, you just have to trust that God knows what He is doing is in your best interest=)