A few days ago my toll-free phone number stopped working due to non-payment. The company I am with went ahead and reactivated my number but it's still not working...and at this point I don't want to ask them to make it work again (as they said it should) until I have paid them. The problem is that although they accepted my initial payment using a pre-paid credit card their payment processor is not accepting subsequent payments using the same type of prepaid card. This has left me scrambling to find another one which in Canada is not that easy to come by. I have two pre-paid cards and one regular credit card on order but, none of them have come in yet. So...my business phone is not working just now. The company is aware of my dilemna and they have been very understanding and gracious and this problem should be solved momentarily.
But suffice it to say that my number quit working a few days ago. There I was without a working business phone number. And without a way for customers to get a hold of me...well...my ability to make further money was compromised not to mention that I could not effectively run new advertising campaigns.
To top it off several bills and expenses were coming due. My gym membership where I take daily showers (I live in my truck) was $42. My "address" at a Suite number place used for banking, driver's licence, and otherwise...$75 (for the next 3 months). Propane for my truck which was getting near empty...$45. Food to eat...about $10 per day. Storage unit where I store stuff I can't fit in my my truck...$32. Portable internet...$52. And some miscellaneous expenses like cutting a new batch of business cards to the right size (I print my own and just pay to cut them up at an office supply place).
As I mentioned in the last installment in this series...I was stopped by the police the day before yesterday and could have had my truck towed and would have ended up without a place to sleep for the night. At the very least I should have been given a ticket but the Lord had mercy on me and showed me great favor in their eyes and instead of my getting into trouble for having absolutely no lights working on the back of my truck (which I had been unaware of) they towed me to the laundry where I had been headed and gave me a chance to fix my wiring!
I guess what I am saying is that I was running out of money (nothing new for me) as a result of paying different things, my truck was not working properly, and I had a number of bills mentioned above that were coming due. Without a business phone number and without new business cards to mount an effective campaign for new business.
There was a time in my life when I would have freaked out but I have learned over many such circumstances in my life that God is a real God who can be trusted to provide for us. Not that I don't struggle to trust Him these days. Many times I still do. Even though He has shown Himself real in my life...over, and over, and over again. Through other much worse circumstances. But still...I am learning how to trust Him and to keep bringing things to Him in prayer as they happen. To continue doing what I can and leaving the rest in His hands. To do with me as He wills and allows through my circumstances.
In many respects I don't want a regular, full time job, that will provide me with a consistant paycheck. Nor do I want a new car that will not experience mechanical difficulties. I don't want a nice apartment, with television, and a kitchen and fridge. My concern is that having all these things which most of us tend to take for granted...will cause me to cease to trust in the living God to help me. I am afraid that instead of trusting in Him I will end up trusting in the weekly paycheck, my new car, my nice apartment, and that I will end up voicing that God provides but not living it on a daily basis as I am forced to do now.
Observe now how the Lord provided for me in my present circumstances.....
A couple of days ago a real estate agent who a recent customer of mine had referred to me for window cleaning (which is my occupation) could not get a hold of me through the number on my card (which as I said is not working temporarily). I had apparently done such a good job for the recent customer that referred me that the real estate agent then went through the trouble of emailing me instead. That she and a client of hers was interested in window cleaning.
I called her back and explained that I had been having problems with my phone but that it should have been fixed (as the company of the phone number had told me it would be). On calling her she set up a time to do a window cleaning at her own house and then told me about her client's interest in window cleaning too. When I told her to just have her client call my number and leave her phone number the real estate agent decided instead to just give me the client's phone number.
Unbeknown to me...my phone was still not working!
I called the client and was able to set up about $105 of work for today. Praise God!
I had only about $10 on me yesterday but also knew that I had about $15 in my bank account. I went to bed last night thankful for the work.
When I woke up this morning it was pouring rain. Now normally all window cleaning work for the day would be postponed on a day like this but this client absolutely had to have her windows cleaned today so when I called her to see if she still wanted them done...she said yes. Not only that but she apologized for being a bit groggy when I gave her an estimate yesterday and that in fact she wanted both the outside AND inside of her house done. So instead of $105 I ended up looking at $192!!!
Observe the way the Lord was using the circumstances in my life to help me just rest in Him as He worked out the provision for my needs. I was struggling a bit during various points in time but I knew the Lord was working. As He had so many times before.
Well by the time I got to the house...the sun had come out and not a rain cloud was visible anywhere around me!! Whereas when I woke up in the morning there were rain clouds covering every inch of sky to the horizon!
Oh...I forgot to mention my club membership ran out yesterday so today I paid $4.50 of the little I had left in the morning to take a shower. Then about lunch time, I went ahead and used up most of the rest that I had, to buy lunch at a local grocery store.
As I did the house I began to once again realize that it was a waste for the homeowner to have me do many of their windows. Something I had told them about already when giving them the estimate but which they did not listen to. So...I called the homeowner over (by this time she had gotten to the house) and showed her what I was talking about. She agreed and decided to cancel most of the rest of the cleaning.
Again...observe how the Lord was using my circumstances. To test me and build faith. I needed the money. For sure. But I thought it more important to do the right thing by the owner of the house and advise them according to their need and not my own. When I did that I thought that I would only end up with about $60 and truth be told...I was a bit discouraged in view of my need. But there was no way I was not going to do right by my client.
Instead it turned out that I had done enough windows to get paid $114! Praise God!
I headed right to the bank, cashed out $100, and then headed right to the gas station. Well...when I got there the pump was no longer working!!
You have to understand something....my truck runs on propane. A while back someone hit the side of my truck that has the inlet to the propane tank such that it is no longer attached to the side of my truck and just dangles there. It is not leaking (I've been filling it for close to a year in it's present state) but most all stations, except for the one I have been going to, won't touch it.
So there I was, dog tired from work, absolutely beat, and unable to get any propane.
Again...there was a time when I would have FREAKED out!! Without propane I would have run out by tommorrow night at the latest. And then what? My truck is my home. Without a running truck I can't get to any more houses to do windows and without doing windows I can't keep making money. I need the money to be able to go indoors this winter (I live in Canada where it gets r-e-a-l cold).
As I said...I would have normally FREAKED out! But instead I began to inquire as to where else I could get propane and asked the Lord to show me great favor in having the next station be willing to fill me up. No other station had EVER been willing to fill up my truck. EVER. I needed a small miracle. I had no choice but to pray to God and act in faith by continuing to look for where I could get propane. Parking the truck and sitting on the side of the road wringing my hands was not an option
.
I got to another station and in my heart there was peace. The guy came out and proceeded to hook up the propane and fill it. PRAISE GOD!!!
He was from another country and had been in Canada for only a month and did not seem to think anything of my propane inlet hose just dangling there. He even mentioned that it was so to me in the middle of continuing to talk about the weather and his being in Canada. Perhaps in his country everyone goes around with dangling gas hoses
. Who knows. But the Lord answered my prayer!!!
My truck got filled up and I went on my way with tears streaming down my cheeks at how gracious the Lord had been to me today.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever King David said. Today those words were true of my life too.
At stops I had to lean my hand against the side of my head to keep other drivers from seeing the tears streaming down my cheeks.
Tommorrow starts another day and I have work scheduled. If all goes according to plan I will have about $150 by the end of the day and will be able to get my business phone paid up and to pay most if not all the rest of my bills. I will end up with close to nothing again but that is nothing new to me.
The LORD is my provider. Not my bank account. Not my clients. Not the government. Or anyone or anything else. HE will take care of me. As He has done so many times in the past.
If this has encouraged you please let me know. It will encourage me to post more when the Lord shows Himself strong on my behalf.
I would like to add a little something more to what I said above. What I described are the highlights of my day. To every such day there are many other little things that happen where the Lord tests my faith, gives me opportunity to trust Him, and otherwise works in my heart. I don't always trust Him. Many times I struggle. What I want you to see in what I wrote is not my great faith...I don't have great faith...but rather the faithfulness of the Living One. My faith is weak and quite small. I am learning and growing but the Lord still has much to teach me.
One other thing....some might scoff at what I have described and say that what I experienced is just coincidence to which I would say this. I might be more sympathetic to such a viewpoint if this type of thing only happened once or twice. But when it happens over, and over, and over again such that the Lord not only shows Himself strong in my circumstances but also does a wonderful work in my spirit such that I experience greater intimacy with Him in a very real and marvelous way...well all I can say is that to believe that this is not God takes more faith than to believe that it is.
The righteous man will live by faith. Faith in an unseen God. To those who walk in faith and believe that the Lord God works in our circumstances and makes Himself real to us through them...He shows Himself real. To those who don't believe....He remains a being concocted by the mind of
Christians who is not real at all. One does not experience an intimacy with God until one is willing to walk in faith. Until one is willing to see things through the eyes of faith and not just as they might seem to our natural eyes.
The walk of faith is a very real walk in a very real God. And I for one want the Lord to keep putting me through whatever circumstances He deems fit to build my faith. That I might know Him better and experience more of His wonderful person and glorious majesty. That I might find greater comfort in His loving arms. Nestled there like a baby resting in their mother's arms.
I want more of Him and one of the surest ways that I know of to experience more of Him is to learn to trust Him more in and through my circumstances. I am not there yet in terms of always trusting and walking in faith but I am eager to learn. Although it is terribly hard on my flesh to go through the circumstances that I go through...it is a wonderful opportunity to grow closer to the Lord.
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