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Old 02-12-2009, 11:17 AM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,367,263 times
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Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by NVplumber View Post
This is a subject that has definate meaning to me and I am looking for a little insight deeper into it...from outside sources. My wife is a very faith based woman. Me..not so much. Occasionally this has caused some friction the particulars of which are not really important as we have always managed to resolve them in one way or another, yet she has professed to me that me not being a Christian does trouble her, sometimes deeply. Thus is my prediciment. I love her very much and have no desire to see her so troubled yet neither am I going to move myself into her faith. I have had my beliefs my entire life and they work for me. We discuss faith sometimes( I am well aquainted with the Bible and books of many other faiths) and as a philisophical exercise I enjoy these talks. I guess the nuts and bolts of what I wish to know is, at the core, are relationships between Christians and non Christians generally doomed to failure if one or the other partner does not want to convert? Is this a common problem?


"Doomed to failure"? Answer=NO
"common problem"? Answer=YES
will elaborate later if you don't mind I have to head out and I am trying to touch on most of the threads
God Bless You
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Old 02-12-2009, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Gaston, North Carolina
4,213 posts, read 4,905,690 times
Reputation: 624
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicBoxBallerina74 View Post
I'm married to a non Christian and have suffered so much!!!!!!! I wasn't a believer when we got married but I got saved after married to him for three years. He didn't like it that I changed. The Holy Spirit really convicted me and I was another person. He would yell at me cause I wouldn't get upset about money, unpaid bills, him being unemployed. I had faith. He hated it and still does. He was so angry when I started going to church with our kids. Said I was brainwashing them with a fairytale. So he hurts me the worst with having an affair with a coworker. He tells me that my beliefs are a problem. My religion has put a huge gap between us. He tells me this stuff. Says I'm naive. Again I wasn't a Christian when we got married. Before I was saved we never had a fight and it was a wonderful marriage but if I could do it all over I would still become a Christian. I don't know what to do next. He's living with his girlfriend but doesn't want to divorce me. It's a mess. I do know that if there's a next time, I'll marry a good, mature Christian man. In the scripture it says that all Christians will suffer and Jesus suffered. This has brought me closer to the Lord but I ask him how much longer can I do this. I want to feel loved and respected not like a door mat. I remind myself that God is in control and there will be a good outcome to this!
I really feel for you. I have a dear friend who went thru the same thing when she became a Christian. They had 3 kids which both of them are still dedicated to and she refuses to marry or date until her kids are on their own because she believes they are much more important than any relationship she can have outside of her relationship with Christ. Just keep your faith in Christ and know that all things will work out for His plan and that this world is only temporary.
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Old 02-12-2009, 01:38 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
397 posts, read 872,922 times
Reputation: 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzjamiedawn View Post
I was married for 18 years to an atheist. I didn't become a Christian until six years into our marriage. When I did, we sat down and discussed things. He agreed I would take the kids to church with me, and he wouldn't ever say anything negative about it. (The only time he ever had a problem with church, is when one of our son's baseball games fell on a Sunday or Wed night. Our son was the star of the team, and the coach would even beg me to let him play. I told him if it meant so much to him, he needs to go to the Little League Board and make sure no more games are scheduled on those days... he did... and from then on there were no games on Wed or Sun!)

When the kids and I would pray at dinner or whenever, my ex would sit quietly. He never minded me having the whole youth group over, or the times we traveled for Bible Bowls, or paying for church camp, etc. He really did try his best in that regard.

The problem I had with my ex was the times he wished I wasn't a Christian so I would get drunk with him, or do others things I wasn't inclined to do. He would, at times, tempt me like crazy.

Then there were the things he was doing that actually ended our marriage, which may not have happened had he been a Christian. Porn, drugs, drinking, cheating, etc.

I know if I ever remarry, I will only marry a Christian. Just makes things easier, and it's a command from God.

PS...my daughter who is now 22 is married to a man who wants to be a minister, she's a very faithful, intelligent Christian who loves the Lord dearly. My son, who is now 18, lives with his father, doesn't go to church, smokes, smokes pot, and drinks...all with his dad.
Oh yes, because all atheists abuse alcohol, use illegal drugs, and watch porn. What a typical bigoted Christian viewpoint.

As an atheist, I have never done any of the above. Most of the atheist friends I have have never done any of the above. (Other than the occassional glass of wine I enjoy with dinner.) I have Christian friends who have never done this and others who have. It seems to be completely up to the persons. Christians have done horrible things despite their religion, or found some way to justify it by their religion. So, by all means, knock it off with your I'm-better-than-thou attitude.
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Old 02-12-2009, 07:55 PM
 
8,989 posts, read 12,461,043 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gretchen_SDCA View Post
Oh yes, because all atheists abuse alcohol, use illegal drugs, and watch porn. What a typical bigoted Christian viewpoint.

As an atheist, I have never done any of the above. Most of the atheist friends I have have never done any of the above. (Other than the occassional glass of wine I enjoy with dinner.) I have Christian friends who have never done this and others who have. It seems to be completely up to the persons. Christians have done horrible things despite their religion, or found some way to justify it by their religion. So, by all means, knock it off with your I'm-better-than-thou attitude.
Ah Gretchen you need to relax, that is not what she said nor meant. She was talking about her husband.
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Old 02-12-2009, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Tulsa
2,529 posts, read 3,795,462 times
Reputation: 549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gretchen_SDCA View Post
Oh yes, because all atheists abuse alcohol, use illegal drugs, and watch porn. What a typical bigoted Christian viewpoint.

As an atheist, I have never done any of the above. Most of the atheist friends I have have never done any of the above. (Other than the occassional glass of wine I enjoy with dinner.) I have Christian friends who have never done this and others who have. It seems to be completely up to the persons. Christians have done horrible things despite their religion, or found some way to justify it by their religion. So, by all means, knock it off with your I'm-better-than-thou attitude.
Wow. Someone needs to take an anti-bitter pill. This thread is about Christians married to non-Christians. I told my story. If something I said hits too close to home, I think you need to look inside and see why. Nothing I said in any way was a put down to atheists.

Notice I even said..."Then there were the things he was doing that actually ended our marriage, which may not have happenedhad he been a Christian. Porn, drugs, drinking, cheating, etc." I know that even if he had been a Christian, he may have still done those things.

If you have read any of my posts, you would know some of the horrible things I did after the divorce. In no way do I think I'm better than anyone else.

So, the only bigot I see here, is you.

PS...thanks Fundy!
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Old 02-12-2009, 09:58 PM
 
Location: The Land of Oz
112 posts, read 522,700 times
Reputation: 127
Thanks Robin. I do remind myself that and I've got wonderful Christian brothers and sisters around me and that helps too. In Christ we can do anything. I do pray that my husband can get saved!!!!
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Old 02-12-2009, 10:24 PM
 
Location: An absurd world.
5,165 posts, read 8,088,497 times
Reputation: 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colossus_Antonis View Post
Exactly why atheists dismiss faith in religion, for it advocates against all these
There is no evidence of a god. That is why there are atheists.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colossus_Antonis View Post
But then we really need a foxhole to test if they are true atheists hehehe.
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Old 02-12-2009, 10:25 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,517,680 times
Reputation: 47458
its called being unequally yolked.
well like mine she worshiped credit cards and i didn't.
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Old 02-12-2009, 10:58 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
397 posts, read 872,922 times
Reputation: 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzjamiedawn View Post
Wow. Someone needs to take an anti-bitter pill. This thread is about Christians married to non-Christians. I told my story. If something I said hits too close to home, I think you need to look inside and see why. Nothing I said in any way was a put down to atheists.

Notice I even said..."Then there were the things he was doing that actually ended our marriage, which may not have happenedhad he been a Christian. Porn, drugs, drinking, cheating, etc." I know that even if he had been a Christian, he may have still done those things.

If you have read any of my posts, you would know some of the horrible things I did after the divorce. In no way do I think I'm better than anyone else.

So, the only bigot I see here, is you.

PS...thanks Fundy!
I am not bitter - I am only calling you on what you wrote in your post. You wrote that he wished you weren't a Christian, so that you could go drinking with him. This, together with your bolded words, seems to suggest that the only thing that is holding all of us away from these things is religion. I find that conceited and untrue. If that's not what you meant to say, then I misread your post.

Finally, I don't see anything bigoted about my post. You may not like my opinion or may disagree with me, but you have not basis for calling my post bigoted.
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Old 02-13-2009, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Pawnee Nation
7,525 posts, read 14,561,472 times
Reputation: 7001
interesting thread. there's some pretty strong feelings and pretty strong opinions out there.

First, the only thing that can doom a marriage or relationship are the people involved in it. If one or the other is intolerant of the faith/belief structure of the other, it is pretty much doomed. If both parties are tolerant of each others faith and are willing to discuss it like grown ups, it can be an exciting part of your life.

Look at Cokie Roberts and Steve Roberts......a strong successful marriage, both parties have outstanding careers, she is catholic, he is Jew. Raised their children with knowledge of both faiths and allowed the children to grow and be what they wanted to be. It's called respect. If you respect your partner and he/she respect you, then you are not doomed. If there is no respect on one or the others part, then it is probably time to talk to an attorney.
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