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Old 10-08-2008, 12:37 PM
 
Location: NW Nevada
14,149 posts, read 11,579,370 times
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This is a subject that has definate meaning to me and I am looking for a little insight deeper into it...from outside sources. My wife is a very faith based woman. Me..not so much. Occasionally this has caused some friction the particulars of which are not really important as we have always managed to resolve them in one way or another, yet she has professed to me that me not being a Christian does trouble her, sometimes deeply. Thus is my prediciment. I love her very much and have no desire to see her so troubled yet neither am I going to move myself into her faith. I have had my beliefs my entire life and they work for me. We discuss faith sometimes( I am well aquainted with the Bible and books of many other faiths) and as a philisophical exercise I enjoy these talks. I guess the nuts and bolts of what I wish to know is, at the core, are relationships between Christians and non Christians generally doomed to failure if one or the other partner does not want to convert? Is this a common problem?
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:47 PM
 
8,989 posts, read 12,695,647 times
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If you are about to marry, then I would say, definitely not a good idea but since you are already married, it is going to be tough but you have to carry through. I understand your wife's frustration but of all people she must understand the predicament she is in. She must have faith. She must pray, and give the rest to God.

The bright side is you are very tolerant of her faith and with enough prayer and commitment from your wife and others, (which I am sure she is praying like nobody's business for you) You will have a new heart and a contrite spirit, see the love of Jesus, understand Christianity and grow with her and you will know the benefits of marriage God intended.

Stay in there. You were meant to be together, God made it that way, it is His will. He is working on you through your marriage.

God Bless and I definitely will be praying for you.
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Old 10-08-2008, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Frisco, TX
7,556 posts, read 11,866,159 times
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And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. (1 Cor 7:13-14)

It's a very tough situation for some - from personal experience I can attest. All I can say is I believe the Lord sees the situation differently than we do - and tough situations do a very deep work of grace in those involved in them.
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Old 10-08-2008, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Columbia, SC
1,860 posts, read 4,433,286 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reformed Liberal View Post

Stay in there. You were meant to be together, God made it that way, it is His will. He is working on you through your marriage.
I find this comment quite interesting, and I'm not just picking on you, I hear it from a lot of other people too. But I struggle and don't always think that is true as you say it is that regardless of our decisions, it's God's will that they were meant to be together. I think that God works through our wrong decisions to make the most of where we are if we seek His guidance afterwards, but I don't necessarily think that it was God's intention to begin with - to me that's part of having free will.

Without knowing much about this marriage it's hard to really speak much on whether they should or shouldn't have gotten married. But the Bible is quite clear when it says that a believer should be equally yoked to another believer in marriage, now if his wife knowingly married this guy who is not a Christian, then there are consequences that result i.e. what this guy is dealing with now and I'm sure the wife is dealing with some hard issues as well. If she got married, then became a believer, well that's a different story.

All that said, I'm not saying that God can't and won't work in their marriage, but there is a chance that the guy won't ever become a believer and that their marriage will always have this wall in it. B/c when we don't follow Christ and what the Bible says there are consequences that result from our decisions. I personally don't know how I could be married to someone who was not a believer having become a follower of Christ while I was single - marriage is hard enough w/out having to deal w/a different set of values, beliefs, etc. constantly between partners.
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Old 10-08-2008, 01:38 PM
 
Location: In the North Idaho woods, still surrounded by terriers
2,178 posts, read 6,277,772 times
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My sister is a lifelong Christian, devout in her faith. Her husband of 50 years is not. Yet they have managed to raise three good children and maintain a faithful and solid marriage because they are open to sharing and discussion and they respect each other's thoughts and ideas. As for the OP, I think it may have more to do with how much they love each other and how deeply they want the marriage to work.
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Old 10-08-2008, 01:55 PM
 
8,989 posts, read 12,695,647 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckeye in SC View Post
I find this comment quite interesting, and I'm not just picking on you, I hear it from a lot of other people too. But I struggle and don't always think that is true as you say it is that regardless of our decisions, it's God's will that they were meant to be together. I think that God works through our wrong decisions to make the most of where we are if we seek His guidance afterwards, but I don't necessarily think that it was God's intention to begin with - to me that's part of having free will.

Without knowing much about this marriage it's hard to really speak much on whether they should or shouldn't have gotten married. But the Bible is quite clear when it says that a believer should be equally yoked to another believer in marriage, now if his wife knowingly married this guy who is not a Christian, then there are consequences that result i.e. what this guy is dealing with now and I'm sure the wife is dealing with some hard issues as well. If she got married, then became a believer, well that's a different story.

All that said, I'm not saying that God can't and won't work in their marriage, but there is a chance that the guy won't ever become a believer and that their marriage will always have this wall in it. B/c when we don't follow Christ and what the Bible says there are consequences that result from our decisions. I personally don't know how I could be married to someone who was not a believer having become a follower of Christ while I was single - marriage is hard enough w/out having to deal w/a different set of values, beliefs, etc. constantly between partners.
Dude you stated that beautifully and I really can't disagree with you. I am sure I could have worded it differently and I could have tightened up my lingo but without getting caught up in a deep theological debate out of respect to the OP. I believe we are both right. (You should open a new thread so we all can discuss this topic)
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Old 10-08-2008, 06:42 PM
 
7,807 posts, read 10,678,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NVplumber View Post


I love her very much

are relationships between Christians and non Christians generally doomed to failure if one or the other partner does not want to convert?

This non Christian says no, relationships between Christians and non Christians are not doomed to failure. This non Christian thinks it very much depends on the Christian and the non Christian. -Meaning, how they are able to navigate, tolerate, accomodate, with compassion, effort, understanding, and sensitivity to one another's beliefs, (and oh, let's not forget the line up above: "I love her very much,") within the realm of mutual love and respect.

June needs to come back to this one...
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Old 10-08-2008, 07:07 PM
 
2,955 posts, read 6,734,532 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NVplumber View Post
I love her very much and have no desire to see her so troubled yet neither am I going to move myself into her faith. I have had my beliefs my entire life and they work for me. We discuss faith sometimes( I am well aquainted with the Bible and books of many other faiths) and as a philisophical exercise I enjoy these talks. I guess the nuts and bolts of what I wish to know is, at the core, are relationships between Christians and non Christians generally doomed to failure if one or the other partner does not want to convert?
No, I don't believe that any relationship is doomed to failure. To me, it looks like you have no problem with the current situation but your wife might. I bolded the part of your post that tells me that you are fine with having a Christian spouse. But is your wife fine with having a non-Christian spouse? I think that needs to be clear. If the answer is "no" then the problem needs to be addressed between you both.
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Old 10-09-2008, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Columbia, SC
1,860 posts, read 4,433,286 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reformed Liberal View Post
Dude you stated that beautifully and I really can't disagree with you. I am sure I could have worded it differently and I could have tightened up my lingo but without getting caught up in a deep theological debate out of respect to the OP. I believe we are both right. (You should open a new thread so we all can discuss this topic)
Guess not much interest in the topic as I took to your suggestion and started a new thread, but haven't gotten any responses.
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Old 10-09-2008, 09:03 AM
 
8,989 posts, read 12,695,647 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckeye in SC View Post
Guess not much interest in the topic as I took to your suggestion and started a new thread, but haven't gotten any responses.
Oh my bad, I will look
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