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That might depend on how you were hit...When I spanked my daughter, I did it out of love and always explained and followed up with hugs and kisses...I gave her three chance to behave after that...I never just spanked her and didn't anything...That would be treating her like a lab rat or dog that you are trying to train...As far as the Melendez brothers, a study was done on all the major serial killers attempting to find the cause of there behavior because many of them came from good homes and the one key factor in all of them they found was that they were never corporally punished as children, not even during the terrible twos...They were model citizens for a time but then something went terribly wrong and an uncontrolled dark side came out...
Where is that study?? It seems that inconsistant abusive parenting is to blame for the development of a serial killer, and not as you suggest no corporal punishment.
Quote:
The foundation for the serial killer is laid down in their early life experiences, more commonly known as childhood. Serial killers come from all different social classes and geographies, but come from similarly inadequate families. As would be expected, some families are worse than others, but all have central traits in common. Virtually all serial killers reported childhood punishment and discipline as unfair, hostile, abusive and very inconsistent (FBI, 1985; Ressler, 1988). An act that may rate no response one day may result in a severe beating the next. This inconsistency is a common point between serial killers and sexual addicts. Serial killers learn behavior that encourages violence, and that will one day lead to multiple murder (Holmes & De Burger, 1988). The primary caretakers of the future killer, be they parents, grandparents or legal guardians, are simply "bad" (Ressler, 1988, p.71) at their job. Not only are they nonprotective, unhelpful and aloof, but they typically hold adult expectations for even the youngest of children (Ressler, 1988). In addition, there is a high degree of instability in the family life (FBI, 1985), just like the sexual addict's family. Their families typically moved around a great deal, or parents frequently changed occupations (Ressler, 1988). Psychological and behavioral problems, such as alcoholism and drug use are not uncommon in their families, either. Ressler (1988) reports that 69% of interviewed serial killers had a family history of alcoholism (p.19)
That might depend on how you were hit...When I spanked my daughter, I did it out of love and always explained and followed up with hugs and kisses...I gave her three chance to behave after that...I never just spanked her and didn't anything...That would be treating her like a lab rat or dog that you are trying to train...As far as the Melendez brothers, a study was done on all the major serial killers attempting to find the cause of there behavior because many of them came from good homes and the one key factor in all of them they found was that they were never corporally punished as children, not even during the terrible twos...They were model citizens for a time but then something went terribly wrong and an uncontrolled dark side came out...
Sorry but hitting children is unacceptable... A person does not need to hit a child half their size to make a point.
people who grew up to be serial killers don't get that way because they weren't punished as children. They get that way because they either are born that way or are mentally ill.
Sorry but hitting children is unacceptable... A person does not need to hit a child half their size to make a point.
people who grew up to be serial killers don't get that way because they weren't punished as children. They get that way because they either are born that way or are mentally ill.
If hawyaw knows us better than we know ourselves, then how do you get around the Scriptures staing corporal punishment?...
Please tell me where I can see this study. I'm looking online and finding absolutely nothing about it. As a matter of fact, I'm finding just the opposite ... that the most violent criminals generally come from highly unstable homes and were abused in some way.
Young children who are smacked by their parents grow up to be happier and more successful than those who have never been hit, research claims.
It found that children who are smacked before the age of six perform better at school when they are teenagers.
They are also more likely to do voluntary work and to want to go to university than those who have never been physically disciplined.
But the study also revealed that children who are smacked after the age of six were more likely to exhibit behavioural problems, such as being involved in fights.
Smacking is currently banned in 20 European countries, including Germany, Spain and the Netherlands.
In Britain 'reasonable chastisement' in the home is allowed unless it leaves a mark.
But the study, by Marjorie Gunnoe, professor of Psychology at Calvin College in the U.S. state of Michigan, found there was not enough evidence to prove that smacking harmed most children.
She said: 'The claims that are made for not spanking children fail to hold up.
'I think of spanking as a dangerous-tool, but then there are times when there is a job big enough for a dangerous tool. You don't use it for all your jobs.'
Professor Gunnoe questioned 2,600 people about being smacked, of whom a quarter had never been physically chastised.
The participants' answers then were compared with their behaviour, such as academic success, optimism about the future, antisocial behaviour, violence and bouts of depression.
Teenagers in the survey who had been smacked only between the ages of two and six performed best on all the positive measures.
Those who had been smacked between seven and 11 fared worse on negative behaviour but were more likely to be academically successful. Teenagers who were still smacked fared worst on all counts.
Parenting guru Penelope Leach disagreed with the findings.
'No good can come from hitting a child,' she said. 'I do not buy this idea that children will learn positive behaviour from being smacked.
'The law says adults hitting adults is wrong and children should be protected in the same way. Children are people too.'
But psychologist Aric Sigman said: 'The idea smacking and violence are on a continuum is a bizarre and fetished view of what punishment is for most parents.
'If it's done judiciously by a parent who is normally affectionate and sensitive to their child, our society should not be up in arms about that. Parents should be taught to distinguish this from a punch in the face.'
Two years ago, Britain was criticised by the UN for failing to ban smacking in the home, after experts said it was a form of abuse.
And growing numbers of the public seem to agree: A recent poll found 71 per cent of parents would support a ban on smacking.
We don't even order lashes/beatings for correction as judges and juries. for adults.We take all their civil privileges away for specified amounts of time..
When my kids were small and hurt one another they knew that if I saw it or if one tattled about it they would have to hug each other and say, I am sorry. { they hated that}I think hugging each other eventually taught them to curb their anger and that love should not hurt, condemn or harm anyone.
When they got older it was privilege by privelage taken away from them if they broke any "rules of the house"
I could never sit one of my children down and tell them how much I loved them then turn around and hit them
We don't even order lashes/beatings for correction as judges and juries. for adults.We take all their civil privileges away for specified amounts of time..
When my kids were small and hurt one another they knew that if I saw it or if one tattled about it they would have to hug each other and say, I am sorry. { they hated that}I think hugging each other eventually taught them to curb their anger and that love should not hurt, condemn or harm anyone.
When they got older it was privilege by privelage taken away from them if they broke any "rules of the house"
I could never sit one of my children down and tell them how much I loved them then turn around and hit them
Same here.
My mother did a lot of angry spanking. She was usually in a furious rage when she spanked us. Most of my friends did not have parents who did that. We felt humiliated and embarrassed by it. You never really knew what minor infraction would set this reaction off.... it could be for just about anything. I was never close to her, nor were any of her children. She didn't know how to deal with us properly. We still loved her, but we were all emotionally scarred from improper child-rearing. All of us children broke that cycle of physical violence with our own children and they are much better for it. I have never understood how parents can be violent with children, it is clearly and obviously not right.
I do not agree with point #2...When my daughter was small she would act up in public and I would spank her in public, If she acted up at home, she would get spaned at home...And I would give her one to three smacks on her bottome while over my knee, and if at home, she would sit until I told her to move and I told her not to cry because she was told three times not to do what she did and she chose to do it anyway so take responsibility for your misdeeds...Then after the sit down, I would eask her why she got spaned and timed out...I would explain too her that that type of behavior would not be tolerated in society when she grew up and I did not want to see her being alienated by people...For example, She threw a fit once when she was six, layed on the floor kicking and screaming to get what she wanted, I told her when you finished with that, come see me, she stopped almost immeadiately and came caustiously out to the living room where I was and I pointed to my knee, and she said, I won't do that anymore, daddy...I said, well ya still did the crime, so she came over and bent accros my knee and I gave her three wacks on the bare bottom...Sat her down for 30 minutes and then asked her why she was spanked...She told me...So, I spoke with her asking do you think people will want to be around you if you stomp your feet as an adult to get what you want, will they give into you to shut you up, or will they just walk away from you and avoid any further contact with you...She learned that it would not be tolerated as an adult, so she might as well not do it because it will just make her life worse...I only had to discipline my daughter in this way for about a year...After that she learned to think before she acted and I only had to tell her once to do something or not to do something...She is well behaved now at almost 14 years of age and gets A's and B's in school...She is very intelligent and speaks in a mature respectful manner...And has good common sense...I am very proud of her...And when her mother and I divorced she wanted to come with me despite that she knew what a disciplinarian I was and that her mother would let her get away with things...Which now I hear she does a lot and her mother tells her that If your father were here you would be behaving like that...
How on earth could you tell your daughter not to cry when being physically spanked. Your discipline sounds like abuse to me. Only 14? You will regret this method, I assure you. You should have told her to go to her room if you did not want to hear her cry. Forbidding someone from crying is just ridiculous (IMO). My mother would beat the daylights out of us - then spank us MORE for crying. Sick. It is how she was raised. She didn't know better.
I have 3 well behaved kids. They had natural consequences come their way when they behaved badly. Now I have 3 teenagers who are helpful, thoughtful, and don't get in trouble. They are polite to others.
I don't believe in hitting children.
My friends who did not spank also used natural consequences and their kids are great kids too.
On the other hand I was hit and I was a really rebellious teenager.
Same here - with my 4 kids and I was beat nearly to death and was extremely rebellious as a teenager because of my mother's tyrannical way of handling me. She passed away in 2009 (I'm 48 now). I think she regretted it after we were grown. Another tactic my mom used a few times was to punish all of us if one would not admit to something that had been done (for instance something broken in the house by one of us). So I once confessed to something I did not do to prevent my older sister and brother from getting spanked because neither of them would confess. Later when I was grown, my sister confided it was her that did the "deed" and that she had carried a terrible burden of guilt all her life for not having the courage to take the punishment. We both cried when she told me this in our 30's. Until that day, I never knew who "did it". I knew I didn't do it, but I wanted to get the thing over with, so I confessed falsely.
consequences. u dont understand them u learn them.
spare the rod spoil the child.
a spoiled child is a non survivor once cut loose
parent job is to teach that bad behavior and deeds have consequences.
w/o discipline this does not happen.
cute little monkeys become big mean violent apes, not contributing members of society.
the cultivation of empathy thru discipline is the work of a great parent.
a spoiled child has no empathy so harms others and does not contribute to society.
50 years ago this all made perfect sense, but now this post sounds like arabic to most posters.
you have not lost discipline
u cant lose what u never had.
most people think dave ramsey is crazy
a discipline guru for the aging children
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they hated that}I think hugging each other eventually taught them to curb their anger and that love should not hurt, condemn or harm anyone.
