Snubbed by former pastor's wife. (Baptist, people, reasons, forgive) - - Page 7 - City-Data Forum

Jane72 · 05-30-2009, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaniMae1

I used to go a local UPC church. Well one of my best friends still goes there. She is on the cleaning staff. She's been having back problems and asked if I'd go help her clean this past Saturday. So I did. I went in in black capri pants and a Tinkerbell shirt. Not trashy, pants weren't tight or low cut, shirt was not overy tight....Well the pastor's wife walked by me, stopped, looked at me, I said Hi with a big smile ready to great her politely, and she turned and kept walking without a word. I thought it was my imagination, but it turns out that she talked to my friend and told her that if I come to help her again that I "know their doctrine on clothes and shouldn't disrespect the house of god by wearing pants"....I must say that I was rather upset for awhile. I never would have thought she'd be like that. I find this behavior not to be that of a UPC pastor's wife, but of someone who is really stuck up and arrogant.

You're supposed to clean in a dress?
Jeesh, what is this, 1954?

Lindsey_Mcfarren · 05-30-2009, 05:42 PM

I don't understand why you or your friend would want to be involved with a church that requires women wear dresses, thats awfully patriarchal. Not too mention having members with such a holier then thou attitude.

Whenever I see a religion, I ask myself, if heaven is real would I want to spend eternity with these people and almost always I answer myself, Hell NO !!

Miss Shawn_2828 · 05-31-2009, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

Is there a scripture that says a pastors wife is perfect and should be placed on a pedestal or something? If people would get it in their heads that we're at church for one reason, to worship God, we'd learn to take our eyes off the imperfect people in it and keep our focus on our reason for being there. And, like Jesus said, if you feel unwanted where you are, shake the dust off your feet and move on. Why try to shed a bad light on God and his church b'c of man? Christianity isn't corrupt and/or flawed, people are.

Thank you finally someone. People need to stop looking at what people do and stop putting it on God.

It really makes me mad when you have these people say that they were turned off by God because of the people or what they did. My question is, why are they focusing so much on the people and not on God? That is why most people leave church because they don't have their eyes on God and only the people.

The people in the church are not perfect and make mistakes, that is why they are there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTDfN1JWsFw A very good video if you have 6 min to watch.

The funny thing is men didn't even even wear pants during the bible days pants were invented yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZb1adOsr4Y Now this is the truth

pastorjj · 06-29-2009, 12:23 PM

most upc churches are arrogant @ heart. they teach and believe that THEY ARE THE ONLY CHURCH that is going to heaven. they, for the most part are.....self righteous and hyprocrytical. it is sad.

Sundance · 06-29-2009, 01:45 PM

I can't believe some of the responses on this thread!

Regardless of the OP's outfit, the pastor's wife is responsible for her own behavior ~ and there is never any reason to be rude.

If she (the pastor's wife), truly is a Christian, she gave a very POOR example of it!

Quote:

1 Corinthians 13

1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

I don't care WHAT the OP came into the church building wearing, there was no excuse for this.
The pastor's wife should have opened her arms to her, and greeted her with a smile....and maybe even asked her when she would see her again.

The Christian thing to do. It may not be the UPC code of doctrine, but I'd rather live by the words of Christ, than some demonination. JMO

Pastor's Helpmeet · 08-19-2009, 01:40 AM

I am a pastor's wife, although not of the aforementioned denomination. As a pastor's wife, I would NEVER have treated someone the way this woman treated the OP. You see, I am more interested in a person's heart and their eternal destination than I am in how they look on the outside. I do not agree with the legalistic dress codes of this "church." However, I do believe in dressing modestly, as does the denomination I belong to. So, let's set up this scenario. I come into the church on a Saturday and find a former member of the church helping one of our members clean the church in a mini skirt, tube top, and spike heels. I, and our church, disagree with this type of dress ( not to mention, I can't imagine cleaning in it, but I digress), but I would still greet the person warmly, and tell them that we had been missing them at church and hope they will come back to worship the next day.

So, legalism, beliefs, and "church rules" aside, I think this woman was wrong, not only as a pastor's wife, but as a Christian.

renriq02 · 08-19-2009, 08:27 AM

having someone perform duties at the church that is breaking church regs is sending out a bad message to the people.

the OP knew the rules even though she didnt go there anymore..she STILL should've had respect

It's called courtesy.

It's like going to an arab nation that requires a woman to cover their heads. If the woman doesnt cover their head they'll more than likely be beaten or even killed. Is this right? No......but we need to be prudent

The OP was just looking for trouble.

Another example...
If your work requires that you dress formal..and you wear jeans...then WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN?

This is not about legalism...it's about courtesy and respect

Sundance · 08-19-2009, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by renriq02

having someone perform duties at the church that is breaking church regs is sending out a bad message to the people.

the OP knew the rules even though she didnt go there anymore..she STILL should've had respect

It's called courtesy.

It's like going to an arab nation that requires a woman to cover their heads. If the woman doesnt cover their head they'll more than likely be beaten or even killed. Is this right? No......but we need to be prudent

The OP was just looking for trouble.

Another example...
If your work requires that you dress formal..and you wear jeans...then WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN?

This is not about legalism...it's about courtesy and respect

Courtesy and respect work both ways! As the old saying goes, "two wrongs don't make a right."

Even if it was disrespectful for the OP to show up in dress that is against the denomination's teachings, they still have the responsibility to treat her as she should be treated. They still have the responsibility for their own behavior. In fact, I would say that it is even more important for this particular pastor's wife, to be kind to those who do not partake of this particular doctrine. It's very easy to be kind to those who agree with us.

More difficult, when we are faced with a situation like this.

There was no reason for the pastor's wife to behave the way she did. No one did anything to her.

The way we respond, as Christians, is quite telling as to our spiritual development. JMO

renriq02 · 08-19-2009, 04:02 PM

looks like we agree

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundance

Courtesy and respect work both ways! As the old saying goes, "two wrongs don't make a right."

Even if it was disrespectful for the OP to show up in dress that is against the denomination's teachings, they still have the responsibility to treat her as she should be treated. They still have the responsibility for their own behavior. In fact, I would say that it is even more important for this particular pastor's wife, to be kind to those who do not partake of this particular doctrine. It's very easy to be kind to those who agree with us.

More difficult, when we are faced with a situation like this.

There was no reason for the pastor's wife to behave the way she did. No one did anything to her.

The way we respond, as Christians, is quite telling as to our spiritual development. JMO

Sundance · 08-19-2009, 04:10 PM

Quote:

My question is, why are they focusing so much on the people and not on God?

Yes, I would ask this of the pastor's wife. There is never any reason to be rude.

Quote:

That is why most people leave church because they don't have their eyes on God and only the people.

I disagree; I think quite often the reason folks leave a church, is because they are treated rudely there. There's no excuse for this sort of thing. The fault doesn't lie with the person who leaves; it lies with the one being hateful and rude.

Totally agree with Lindsey's comment above!