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Old 01-09-2009, 12:05 PM
Location: NW Arkansas
3,978 posts, read 7,646,529 times
Reputation: 3760


Originally Posted by StirringWaters View Post
I am beating my head against a wall. When you don't like what is said somewhere, you call off topic.

Point made, and taken in the spirit in which it was given...(I think?)
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Old 01-09-2009, 01:31 PM
40,407 posts, read 26,920,307 times
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Originally Posted by esselcue View Post
When I read posts from people who gush the words "I love you..." to people they have never met and do not know at all other than what they have written in a forum, I feel very uncomfortable with it. You may approve of that person's post, or like what they have said, or feel compassion for whatever that person is going through...but to use the words "Oh, I love you!" with such ease is just very superficial. I actually "love" a limited amount of people...and certainly not my enemies. I may "like" many people (and I do) and I certainly can forgive and accept (I often do), but "love"? No.
We are simply talking about Social Styles preferences and we should NOT be imputing sincerity or insincerity to those differences. I understand your frustration with such cynical Scrooge attitudes, Stirring Waters . . . but it isn't sinister. People align along two basic dimensions socially (they can be expanded and often are) . . . Assertiveness and Expressiveness. Assertiveness is the desire to control the social situations one finds oneself in (go along to get along vs. try to dominate). Expressiveness is the degree to which one emotes or reveals their inernal state . . . (wearing one's heart on one's sleeve vs. cold fish). We ALL prefer to operate socially to varying DEGREES along these two dimensions . . . very few of us are at the extremes of either dimension.The four basic general categories would be 1. low assertive/low expressive (Analytics); 2. high assertive /low expressive (Drivers= Marian); 3. low assertive/high expressive (Amiables ); and 4. high assertive/high expressive (Expressives=Me) These basic preferences regarding our social interactions define our "comfort zones" when interacting with others. We cannot infer ANYTHING about one's sincerity from these preferences! So Marian and her supporters are expressing an unjustified cynicism . . . which would only appropriately be applied to themselves (if they were to interact out of their comfort zone and express their feelings strongly). Let's stop this JUDGING, folks . . . it is really counterproductive and extremely intolerant.
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