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Old 01-20-2009, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Gaston, North Carolina
4,213 posts, read 5,030,637 times
Reputation: 627

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Divorce is the topic because it destroys families and leave children as the ultimate victims. To properly raise a child they need the nurturing of both mother and father and even though this is sometime unavoidable due to death or absentee fatherhood, divorce is an area that can be addressed and something done about to insure the children are brought up properly.

Now quite often people get married because of the excitement which disapates as time goes on and reality sets in. What most people do not realize is that a loving relationship must be worked on and not just left to become stagnant. Very often instead of people working on the relationships they take the easy way out and seek that excitement again. Often times once you have been divorced once you will divorce again until you realize that a relationship has to be worked on to survive.

Very often people marry for obviously wrong motives such as money, sex, fame, convenience and then they want out when the newness wears off.

Very often divorce occures because of infidelity that goes back to looking for that excitement felt when they first fell in love with their spouse that they have found with another. Which is an easy way out of working on a relationship.

I have never been divorced and can only relate to you statistical information. So if you have something to add please feel free.
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Old 01-20-2009, 12:57 PM
 
4,439 posts, read 8,209,445 times
Reputation: 1469
Quote:
Originally Posted by RobinD69 View Post
Divorce is the topic because it destroys families and leave children as the ultimate victims. To properly raise a child they need the nurturing of both mother and father and even though this is sometime unavoidable due to death or absentee fatherhood, divorce is an area that can be addressed and something done about to insure the children are brought up properly.

Now quite often people get married because of the excitement which disapates as time goes on and reality sets in. What most people do not realize is that a loving relationship must be worked on and not just left to become stagnant. Very often instead of people working on the relationships they take the easy way out and seek that excitement again. Often times once you have been divorced once you will divorce again until you realize that a relationship has to be worked on to survive.

Very often people marry for obviously wrong motives such as money, sex, fame, convenience and then they want out when the newness wears off.

Very often divorce occures because of infidelity that goes back to looking for that excitement felt when they first fell in love with their spouse that they have found with another. Which is an easy way out of working on a relationship.

I have never been divorced and can only relate to you statistical information. So if you have something to add please feel free.
I guess I don't understand the point of the thread. Are you taking a position that people should never get a divorce?
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Old 01-20-2009, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Gaston, North Carolina
4,213 posts, read 5,030,637 times
Reputation: 627
It would be preferable considering the destruction to the family divorce can cause.
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Old 01-20-2009, 02:06 PM
 
4,439 posts, read 8,209,445 times
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Originally Posted by RobinD69 View Post
It would be preferable considering the destruction to the family divorce can cause.
Do people dispute that married people should try to stay married if possible?

I feel like this is a thread arguing that "cancer is bad".
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Old 01-20-2009, 02:07 PM
 
Location: MI
1,289 posts, read 1,902,298 times
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I divorced my first husband because he is/was a compulsive adulterer. I didn't sin. Divorce is not always a sin.
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Old 01-20-2009, 02:09 PM
 
Location: MI
1,289 posts, read 1,902,298 times
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Originally Posted by bigthirsty View Post
I guess I don't understand the point of the thread. Are you taking a position that people should never get a divorce?

I got the same impression.

Hey, sign up here so someone can tell you where you sinned.

Three homosexuality threads and now this.
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Old 01-20-2009, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Pawnee Nation
7,525 posts, read 14,913,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobinD69 View Post
It would be preferable considering the destruction to the family divorce can cause.
Yes, it is so much better for the family to have an alcoholic, a meth head, a criminal, a wife beater as head of the household than it is for a divorce to occur and give the children a chance at peace, a lack of molestation, and a decent role model for them.
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Old 01-20-2009, 03:52 PM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,830 posts, read 10,017,149 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StirringWaters View Post
I divorced my first husband because he is/was a compulsive adulterer. I didn't sin. Divorce is not always a sin.
Right on, Sister.

My first was a compulsive cheater and alcoholic, the 2nd a workaholic, abuser and completely selfish.

There are circumstances that God would not want us to stay in. I rededicated my life to Christ after the 2nd divorce, and am living completely for Him now. If I were still married, that would have never happened. I quite possibly could be in jail for murder. What's more important.....trying to hold together a miserable one-sided marriage, or eternal salvation? I should have never married because I make poor choices and God wasn't involved in those choices, I know that now.

But I have been forgiven because I asked.

You can't speak to a circumstance until you've been in it.
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Old 01-20-2009, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Gaston, North Carolina
4,213 posts, read 5,030,637 times
Reputation: 627
I am not trying to point out anyones sin. I understand that there are circumstances that cause divorce, but there are also circumstance where people should not have married to begin with as well as circumstances where divorce is a convienance.

Stirringwaters I understand your situation because adultry is a sin that hurts more than just the sinner. I have several friends and relatives who are divorced for the same reasons.

As I have stated marriage is something that has to be worked on and I men by both parties and not just one side. If it is only onesided then it is not a marriage.

DayoftheLord you make an excellent point, we want to do what God wants of us and not what we want at the time because we all make bad choices. When I first got married I wasnt a real Christian. I was just a Christian in name because my family was Christians and the militery told me to pick a religion. My wife was a Christian and I even pointed out to her that she should not be unequally yoked to me and she said gd told her I was the one. Believe me I havent made it easy on her but our marriage has been a mutual effort from the beginning and we have been open and honest about each others mistakes and worked thru them. We both have always wanted our marriage to work and have worked for that. We love each other in a way that transcends what the world thinks of love. We are best friends and lovers and dont want to be apart. Sure there have been some rough spots, in twenty one years there is going to be.

So please do not take this thread as a thread to point out your sins, but a thread to address reasons for divorce and see why it came to that.
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Old 01-20-2009, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,574 posts, read 21,728,321 times
Reputation: 18121
Oh wow, I made a post but I think it would be best if I just do a blog..Mine is a strange case of a church, mental abuse, an affair and a remarriage...My advice to any woman is do not ever marry anyone unless you have a career to fall back on and money put aside for a good lawyer..My very best advice on your beliefs is never, never ever allow someone to come between you and God or to make you believe that you are inferior..
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