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Old 07-23-2009, 04:37 PM
 
Location: nc
1,244 posts, read 1,276,401 times
Reputation: 290

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I don't think God wants people to get divorced, but I know God doesn't want us to do things that could lead to divorce, I think God wants people to try to work it out. Try really really hard! I'm a strong feminist and cannot even imagine the pain that you would feel from that kind of betrayal but I'd like to think after a lot of fighting and crying if my husband did this to me I would want to try to work it out. I know people say people don't change, and once a cheater always a cheater, but I think they can. I would definitely try counseling first at least. If you did get one though, I think that God would be OK with love again, I wish my mom would find somebody! She's just so not interested though.
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Old 10-23-2009, 04:50 PM
 
3 posts, read 6,058 times
Reputation: 10
Default Girl listen

Is the man saved by the grace of GOD ? and is there evidence of this meaning a change in his ways or even speaking in new tongues?

Then there is also what Christ commanded and that is to forgive 70 times 7... a day .Now of course the covenant has been violated by his unfaithfulness , but the real question is do you still love him the way God has commanded you too love him?

If the offending partiner chooses to leave then let him leave there by freeing you from the curse that he has brought on him self .
You see I am learning that you can't make someone do what they do not want to do. God is all seeing and is not blind to your pain.What he wants from YOU is to trust him even though it hurts and yes I know about the hurt and the pain just get alone from the world , just you and GOD and tell him all about the problem even though he already knows what you are going through he has the master plan after all he wrought that blus prints on you life and he will go back the drawing board to make a new chapter in your life so be encouraged and do thing s the way GOD would have you to behave . And you ask how to behave ? GOD has that answer to Just ask him In the book of James if a man askes for wisdom GOD will give it to him or her unbraided not meaning without reservation

GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU
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Old 10-23-2009, 05:52 PM
 
Location: USA
1,864 posts, read 2,806,166 times
Reputation: 1825
Is he still seeing this other woman?

If he is still seeing her, then he has no business living with you. I would not live under the same roof with him, unless and until he had repented of this.

You are only enabling him.

You sound like you are emotionally dependent upon him....he committed adultery on you - that was wrong and you need to hold him accountable. If you let him move back in, he will just continue. Not that you are his "teacher," but there should be some BOUNDARIES in a marriage, and he crossed them! A good website for you is survivinginfidelity.com - they have been through it all. It's not a Christian site, per se, but they have been through it and know the stages, etc. Perhaps it will help.......

Stop making excuses for him. You don't have to jump and file for divorce, but I definitely would not live under the same roof with him if he is still seeing or wanting to see this other woman!
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Old 11-07-2009, 01:23 PM
 
3 posts, read 6,058 times
Reputation: 10
look the man is cheating on you and you know it . So why punish your self stop enabling the man and stand your ground in other words "Stand in the rain you won't drown stand up when it's all coming down " AnD as it has been told to me and is still being mention by church family members GOD sees your heart and every thing that your husband is doing .He also hears you when you cry and he has caught every tear that has fallen from your face. Just know that He sits high and looks low on this situation and your not the only one going through this maritial problems, You see my wife of 6 years of marriage left me and took our two girls ages 4 and 2 and stated to me that she was never commig back to me and she is seeking a divorce .Yes I cried and lost countless weight because I could not eat nor sleep ... BUT GOD is seeing me through this and has given me peace in my spirit about this because really ...... GOD has the last say in the matter and you just will have to make up in your mind to either take him at is word and believe HIM after all He did say " I'll Never Leave You Or Forsake You " and that is gauranteed . So yes it hurts and you probably miss him .. STOP and go do something for you treat your self and thank GOD for the peace that you have and you don't even know it .....
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Old 12-02-2009, 06:48 PM
 
191 posts, read 137,953 times
Reputation: 51
I will pray for you to make the right decision..but he has no right to continually hurt you when he did wrong..you have a big heart..may God bless you with the hopes that your marriage heals..
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Old 12-02-2009, 07:13 PM
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
1,602 posts, read 1,054,531 times
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How can you get divorced? It is a sin according to Christ. Won't divorce be a quick path to hell?
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Old 02-22-2010, 07:57 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,187 times
Reputation: 11
I would like to say, your situation is sooo similiar to mine, if I didnt know better, I would think I wrote it. I am in the same same same exact boat except for the affair...that is to my knowledge. my husband moved to a completely different state. I have been praying and praying and it looks like things are getting worse. Finally after listening to everyone, God led me to this one christian woman who continually speaks positive about my marriage and constantly points me to God and his word for my answers. I still have ups and downs, but I cant let go because I believe God can change my husband. I dont care what others say anymore, they think sometimes I am holding on and there is no hope. Im sorry, I just believe God is going to save my marriage but there are some things he has to do in me and in my husband first. I see my husband coming back home, loving christ and completely changed. Yes it gets hard, yes I want to give up. But something inside wont let me. Im sorry I just believe God is able. My husband may have to go through some things because of his disobedience. But that is why I pray for him. Please dont stop praying for him and your marriage. Dont be a doormat. Be firm but loving and draw ever so close to God thru his word and prayer. Its scary, but God is able! Rowing in the same boat with you.God bless!
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Old 02-26-2010, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Florida
559 posts, read 416,434 times
Reputation: 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicBoxBallerina74 View Post
This is a question that I've talked about with my church elders. My husband had and affair. It was very emotional and he's having a hard time letting go. He got fired from his job last week because of all the trouble it caused him at his work. She was a coworker you see. Well he had to move back in with me for money reasons. I've been praying for him but he's so stubborn. He pushes the truth away from him. I warned him that things would get worse if he didn't leave this woman alone. Now all he has is disgrace and a wound. Nobody from office wants to have anything to do with him. That really hurt him. He's so angry and blames it on someone else. He says that this other person just wanted his job. But he was told that he was fired cause he lied about the relationship. Well, he's living here and he's so cruel to me. He doesn't talk to me. He was very sick with the flu a couple of days ago and never thanked me for taking care of him. I've had two dreams that he wanted to kill me. I feel like he doesn't want me. I'm hurting so bad cause I care about him and give him my all, like I believe Christ would want me to but he gives me nothing. He says he's just angry about the situation. I feel like I'm go crazy!!!!!!!! I'm always praying and reading scripture but when he pushes himself away like this it just tears my heart to pieces. My church family has mixed feelings about this. Some think that God is letting him get down to the bottom and he might repent. Others think cause of the affair that I should just go and start a new life, maybe marry a Christian. I know that God hates divorce but I'm confused about this. I've been praying that the Lord would have mercy on him and bring him to his senses before it's to late. I also feel like if I leave I'm giving up on him. I don't think Jesus would want me to do that! I'd like to know what other Christian brothers and sisters out there think about this. When my heart is hurting and I want to leave am I being selfish? Can I leave and remarry? I feel so unloved by the man I love dearly. I'm worried I might give up! Being unequally yoked was not by choice. I wasn't a Christian when we got married. My husband wont even tell me what he wants. He doesn't talk to me.I want to be respected and loved is that wrong?
MBB74, I have been through this twice and with two Christian men. It has taken me a long time with God by my side in every step. Myself, I wanted to be loved and would do anything to keep the marriage together. Then one day I woke up and knew what mattered most. I was loved, loved by my Lord and and Savior and His plans were not adultery or abuse for me. God hates divorce. God hates adultery and abuse of a spouse just the same. This is not God's plan. And both times I did not take the easy way out. I waited on God to show me what to do. God sustained me 20 years before I married the second time and both were a death I cannot describe. I still love them both and pray for them. I know now that God's plan is best for me and I am so loved by by Jesus. My children went through alot also and God has all of them, mind body and Spirit. They are all happily married to true Believers in Christ. God's plan is so blessed!
I wouldn't worry about what your husband wants, God will deal with him. Try to think about God's promises for you and your children, keep praying for mental and emotionally stability for yourself and all decievements exposed so you will know all truths. God loves you so much and He wants His best for you. Love and prayers in Jesus Name.
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Old 03-19-2010, 02:37 AM
 
Location: california
1 posts, read 2,106 times
Reputation: 10
Default How to tell my husband I don[t love him anymore

Hi, I am here at this web page bcs I really need advicie from Christian people and I had not go to my church bcs I don[t want later in less than a month everybody knowing whats wrong in my life but this is it.

2 months ago my husband told me that he found the lost love of his life and that he was in contact with her, he told me he wanted to move where she lives and start a life there with her and her kids and ofcourse after we could be divorce he asured me that sure I will find a better man for me an our kid and that I do deserve better ad that definitely he was never gonna be able to give me a house not even a small one well he has not even be able to afford a car, anyway he said he didn[t loved me 100% and that sure I do deserve someone that really love me the way I deserve so after I stayed there for a few more days thigsstarted to be hard and ruff between us so I decided to leave and he was agreed he will file the divorce papers and we will be nice and kind with each other so now I finally away from him I got a job I got medical benefits that I didn[t have before bcs he is unemployed since a year and a half ago so now he wants be back and also our kid and that we can by God mercy start all over again but I don[t want bcs during our marriage he was very verbal, mental and emotional abusive with me and he was starting to be abusive with our baby, so I dont want o go back but he told me under God eyes our divorce is not right, etc, that we must think i our chlid but really I don[t feel in my heart that Ishould go back to be with him, he killed all the love that I could feel for him, he tried to suicide before and I am afraid of my life with him but he doesn[t want to divorce me and I am afraid of what if he wants to demand me for been away of him with our kid and out of the country. I am afraid of his reactions and the last moth that we lived together I called the police at least 4 times for his violents reactions he doesn[t see it the same way. I feel frustared and I don[t want that he can file child custody my gosh under his mental condition I really doubt that any judge could give him our child custody. please help.

Last edited by MYAHCAS; 03-19-2010 at 02:47 AM.. Reason: wrong spell
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Old 04-26-2010, 09:57 PM
 
2 posts, read 4,819 times
Reputation: 10
I understand what your going trough cuz iam 22 years old iam a christian beliver also and I just have 2 years married under gods law and iam davastated iam the nicest person to my husband and he's the meanest but you no who gives me strength jesus christ I stay strong and I believe one day he's gona take our pain away I declare it in jesus name iam gona be praying for you. God bless you your strong women!!!
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