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Old 04-18-2010, 11:42 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,048 times
Reputation: 11

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I have been married for almost 15 years and have been raising four boys and one girl with my wife. The youngest son is my only biological child. I have been blessed to be a part of this family. We have great kids. They range in age from 13 to 25. Before my wife and I were married, I was baptized and we were both confirmed in the Catholic church. Early in our marriage we attended church as a family and my faith in God has grown a great deal. I truly love my faith. Unfortunately after being married for about 4 or 5 years, my wife had some medical and this brought on depression and anxiety. She is on medication and for the most part carries on a normal life, but she has no motivation to attend church. Over the years I have attempted to take the youngest children to Mass but it has been a challenge. Tonight I hit the wall when my 17 year old did not want to go and my wife decided my 13 year old did not have time to get ready. I have been to Mass alone many times and tonight I was not only angry but depressed. I have prayed for my wife for many years but it seems like nothing changes. I get the feeling I am losing my 17 year old and my wife doesn't get it. The thought of growing old and not going to church or sharing my faith with my wife is depressing. Yes I need some encouragement......
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Old 04-19-2010, 02:17 AM
 
13,498 posts, read 18,108,960 times
Reputation: 37885
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle1210 View Post
There has been many good thoughts on here, I go to church for my own spirituality, if i waited for my husband I would miss out on my own growth and intimacy in Christ. It was so hard my husband made it unbearable for me, trying to coax me to sleep in late ( I love to sleep) get in my way while I dressed demanded breakfast,etc., to down right forbidding me to go. I had to be faithful, and consistent, for me and my children. There is so much I want to share with my husband , my joy in answered prayer,my poetry, my hopes and dreams, the joy of seeing a sinner turned saint, a song that touched my heart, the genuine fellowship of love from my brothers and sister,all these things I wish to share with my spouse, scripture that brought conviction. To walk this walk with Christ is incredible and to share with others is great, but to walk it without my spouse is one of the most painful I have endured, for he does not truly know me. As I want to be known by the one I love. I will continually pray for my spouse and have hope that one day he will walk with me. until then, I will go to church alone. Just love your wife, your children and have faith, run the race.
Stop focusing on yourself for a bit. Try to think why he is not doing exactly what you want him to do....and maybe you need to ask yourself why it has to be your way and no other way.

Maybe you have turned your enthusiasm for God/religion into an obstacle, maybe you are too much in his face with it all the time. He may experience it as taking away from your marriage, and far from adding to it.

Maybe your "intimacy in Christ" has become a substitute for your relationship with your husband in his eyes.
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Old 04-19-2010, 06:55 AM
 
5,925 posts, read 6,917,441 times
Reputation: 645
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoosier View Post
How do you emotionally handle the fact that your spouse tells you she wants to go to church with you, but never attends? Every Sunday there is always a reason to not attend. The kids see it and I see it, but she does not see it. This has been going on for years and puts a strain on our relationship. I encourage her to come with us, but I know ultimately it is her choice. How do you emotionally deal with this?

Quit allowing church to be a wedge between you and your wife and pitting God against your childrens mother.

Your doing it, I see it in many families that think going to a church has anything to do with a spiritual godly life. your just not admitting it.
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:26 AM
 
Location: USA
1,952 posts, read 4,776,159 times
Reputation: 2266
I would be less concerned about the fact that she doesn't attend than the people at church, coming up to you all and calling attention to the fact that she isn't there, in front of the children - that's incredibly rude in front of the kids. And disrespectful, to her.

Are you afraid you're losing face in the eyes of the congregation?

Why can't you do home church?

Maybe she wants a deeper, more personal walk and experience.
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Old 04-21-2010, 02:52 PM
 
9,670 posts, read 9,946,511 times
Reputation: 1916
Go to Jesus and claim your spouse and your children for Jesus Christ, as part of covenment with him through the blood of Jesus. and sow a seed and believe that Jesus is going to change thing for you........ But you must never say again My spouse will never go to church for Jesus. you never doubt that Jesus is not going to Help you and rebel against your faith over this belief, but if you catch yourself denieging this believe, Just repent and believe again ........ Pray Father I believe you have a plan for my spouse and my Children to go to Church and be a blessing to you. Father I claim them for your Glory and our marrage Covenment with you Jesus. Help lead them to love you in the Spirit in Jesus name ... Glory to God........
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Old 04-21-2010, 05:54 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,250 posts, read 42,659,665 times
Reputation: 20198
I was taught that God is everywhere. Do you not believe this is true? If you do believe it is true, then what difference does it make whether your wife prays at home or in a different building? Why not make "church" the back yard of your property instead, where you can gaze up into the sky, and witness the beauty of God's creation while you pray? Or how about visiting a homeless shelter and praying there, among the most humble of souls, as Jesus did? Maybe you might want to pray to God in a barn, honoring the birth of the Sacred Son amongst the sheep? Or heck - go to the local suburban shopping mall and pray outside Radio Shack.

If you -need- a church to pray, then perhaps there is something more significantly off than your wife simply not wanting to do so in a church. Could she have emotional issues with crowds? Agoraphobia? Or maybe some odd fear of stained glass windows? I'm not being facetious..I'm serious. There are wacky fears of all sorts of things. Your wife might be struggling with one of them.

Or, as I said, perhaps you might consider simply opening your mind as to locations in which to offer your thanks to God, for God is everywhere, all the time. He isn't only in your church, on Sundays.
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Old 04-21-2010, 06:07 PM
 
5,503 posts, read 5,542,919 times
Reputation: 5164
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
I was taught that God is everywhere. Do you not believe this is true? If you do believe it is true, then what difference does it make whether your wife prays at home or in a different building? Why not make "church" the back yard of your property instead, where you can gaze up into the sky, and witness the beauty of God's creation while you pray? Or how about visiting a homeless shelter and praying there, among the most humble of souls, as Jesus did? Maybe you might want to pray to God in a barn, honoring the birth of the Sacred Son amongst the sheep? Or heck - go to the local suburban shopping mall and pray outside Radio Shack.

If you -need- a church to pray, then perhaps there is something more significantly off than your wife simply not wanting to do so in a church. Could she have emotional issues with crowds? Agoraphobia? Or maybe some odd fear of stained glass windows? I'm not being facetious..I'm serious. There are wacky fears of all sorts of things. Your wife might be struggling with one of them.

Or, as I said, perhaps you might consider simply opening your mind as to locations in which to offer your thanks to God, for God is everywhere, all the time. He isn't only in your church, on Sundays.

Matthew 6:5-6 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet (European term for bathroom - water closet), and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Peace...
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Old 04-21-2010, 06:50 PM
 
51 posts, read 67,090 times
Reputation: 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by growing tired View Post
I have been married for almost 15 years and have been raising four boys and one girl with my wife. The youngest son is my only biological child. I have been blessed to be a part of this family. We have great kids. They range in age from 13 to 25. Before my wife and I were married, I was baptized and we were both confirmed in the Catholic church. Early in our marriage we attended church as a family and my faith in God has grown a great deal. I truly love my faith. Unfortunately after being married for about 4 or 5 years, my wife had some medical and this brought on depression and anxiety. She is on medication and for the most part carries on a normal life, but she has no motivation to attend church. Over the years I have attempted to take the youngest children to Mass but it has been a challenge. Tonight I hit the wall when my 17 year old did not want to go and my wife decided my 13 year old did not have time to get ready. I have been to Mass alone many times and tonight I was not only angry but depressed. I have prayed for my wife for many years but it seems like nothing changes. I get the feeling I am losing my 17 year old and my wife doesn't get it. The thought of growing old and not going to church or sharing my faith with my wife is depressing. Yes I need some encouragement......
gt,

Our 3 children's ages are 38-28, so we are a few years older than you and your spouse. We went through similar trials as you have experienced.

After several years of frustration and upset, the Lord gave me to see that I was not looking at Jesus. I thought I was but when the Lord gave me to see that I wasn't looking at Jesus as the omega as well as the alpha, the finisher as well as the author of my faith, then the Lord gave me to repent again and gave me a renewed rest in the grace of God in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Faith is a necessary beginning. Faith multiplied with grace brings the blessed hope. May our Lord bring us into the fold of his grace through the gate of faith.

Rom 4:16
16 Therefore it is of faith, that it might be by grace; to the end the promise might be sure to all the seed; not to that only which is of the law, but to that also which is of the faith of Abraham; who is the father of us all, KJV

Rom 5:1,2
5:1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. KJV

Eojj
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Old 04-24-2010, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Out of Florida........
4,309 posts, read 6,416,568 times
Reputation: 951
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_n_Tenn View Post
Well... I'd bring church home... Bible study, small groups, prayer meeting, and keep it social and relaxed.... and always include food!
Baby steps....of course.
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Old 04-24-2010, 08:44 PM
 
433 posts, read 585,780 times
Reputation: 101
Another thing can be done is, you can tell wife what you've learned in church at night when you are in bed with wife -- preacher's opening statements and closing statements should be the punchlines.
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