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I posted this in the relationship section, but I'm getting a lot of advice that is from a secular standpoint on dating that I just don't agree with. I mean, I'm thankful for the advice, but it isn't very helpful when that advice is coming from someone with a completely different world-view. A lot of it seems to be "if you can't makeout, have sex, or whatever on a regular basis, then it won't work." I just don't believe that.
Here's the story.... over the past year, and especially over the past few months, I've become really good friends with this girl. And we've both kind of had a crush on each other for a long time now. But in the past week with prom and all that, it's developed into much more. We both really like each other, and we're both on the same page as far as dating goes. Sounds like an easy situation to deal with, right?
Wrong.
My family is moving to Colorado in June, and I'm going to UMinn in the fall. The problem is, we live in Florida right now, and she's going to college here in town. So I'll be in Minnesota, my family will be in Colorado, and she'll be in Florida.... which makes it really difficult to visit during breaks. So here's my question, do you think a long distance relationship like this could work? I've seen it happen work, but usually the people in that relationship had been dating for a while, and we haven't. But still, I'd be willing to try and work with that kind of relationship. It would be hard with the distance and everything, but I think we're both mature enough to handle it. I know there are more girls out there, but I don't want this opportunity to slip away either because I really do like her. I mean, I normally wouldn't say this about anyone at this stage, but she's the kind of person I could see myself marrying. But who knows.....
And to add to that, we're both seeking more of a courtship/dating type relationship. Not a super-strict Bob Jones/no physical contact type thing, but a more structured and meaningful relationship than they typical college relationship.
I feel like we're both mature enough to try this, and I really want to give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, we can end it. And if it does, then we'll see where it leads. That's what dating is all about, right?
I posted this in the relationship section, but I'm getting a lot of advice that is from a secular standpoint on dating that I just don't agree with. I mean, I'm thankful for the advice, but it isn't very helpful when that advice is coming from someone with a completely different world-view. A lot of it seems to be "if you can't makeout, have sex, or whatever on a regular basis, then it won't work." I just don't believe that.
Quote:
Here's the story.... over the past year, and especially over the past few months, I've become really good friends with this girl. And we've both kind of had a crush on each other for a long time now. But in the past week with prom and all that, it's developed into much more. We both really like each other, and we're both on the same page as far as dating goes. Sounds like an easy situation to deal with, right?
Wrong.
My family is moving to Colorado in June, and I'm going to UMinn in the fall. The problem is, we live in Florida right now, and she's going to college here in town. So I'll be in Minnesota, my family will be in Colorado, and she'll be in Florida.... which makes it really difficult to visit during breaks. So here's my question, do you think a long distance relationship like this could work? I've seen it happen work, but usually the people in that relationship had been dating for a while, and we haven't. But still, I'd be willing to try and work with that kind of relationship. It would be hard with the distance and everything, but I think we're both mature enough to handle it. I know there are more girls out there, but I don't want this opportunity to slip away either because I really do like her. I mean, I normally wouldn't say this about anyone at this stage, but she's the kind of person I could see myself marrying. But who knows.....
And to add to that, we're both seeking more of a courtship/dating type relationship. Not a super-strict Bob Jones/no physical contact type thing, but a more structured and meaningful relationship than they typical college relationship.
I feel like we're both mature enough to try this, and I really want to give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, we can end it. And if it does, then we'll see where it leads. That's what dating is all about, right?
What do you think?
So AT9 I want to understand something first;
You are a believer right?
Abstinent?
Is she a Believer?
Sounds like a storybook romance...
sounds like you care a great deal for her..
I hope to hear from you soonl
I'll try to answer some of this, if I can
God Bless You
So AT9 I want to understand something first;
You are a believer right?
Abstinent?
Is she a Believer?
Sounds like a storybook romance...
sounds like you care a great deal for her..
I hope to hear from you soonl
I'll try to answer some of this, if I can
God Bless You
Thank you
Yes, we are both believers, and we are both abstinent and we both intend to stay that way until we're married. We are really good friends, which is why I care for her so much. And it's also why I'm seeking so much advice. First and foremost, we both want to glorify God through whatever we do.... it's just that the hard part is figuring out how our story fits in.
Haha, it does kind of sound a little like a storybook romance....but I fear it may not have a happy ending if I don't do this right.
And if no one has advice, I at least ask that you would pray for both of us as we consider what we should do.
You already know it can be done....... it has been done. It won't be easy, many have tried and failed but if its truly G-ds will and your both in it for keeps then all you can do is pray about it and give it your all.
Whats the worst that can happen...... you'll break up? Okay so if you don't break up now and G-d forbid break up later at least you'll know you tried and won't wonder about what if's....
I say pray about it and give it your best. I am a hopeless romantic and believe that what G-d wills, will find a way! G-d bless you and may your heart find peace about this.
You already know it can be done....... it has been done. It won't be easy, many have tried and failed but if its truly G-ds will and your both in it for keeps then all you can do is pray about it and give it your all.
Whats the worst that can happen...... you'll break up? Okay so if you don't break up now and G-d forbid break up later at least you'll know you tried and won't wonder about what if's....
I say pray about it and give it your best. I am a hopeless romantic and believe that what G-d wills, will find a way! G-d bless you and may your heart find peace about this.
Thanks for your advice
That's the same way I feel about it. My mind tells me that I'm an idiot for considering this, but my heart tells me otherwise. Now it's an internal struggle to discover what God is trying to tell me. I have prayed over it a lot, and I will continue to pray about it.
As a side note, can I ask why you edit out the "o" in God?
Yes, we are both believers, and we are both abstinent and we both intend to stay that way until we're married. We are really good friends, which is why I care for her so much. And it's also why I'm seeking so much advice. First and foremost, we both want to glorify God through whatever we do.... it's just that the hard part is figuring out how our story fits in.
Haha, it does kind of sound a little like a storybook romance....but I fear it may not have a happy ending if I don't do this right.
And if no one has advice, I at least ask that you would pray for both of us as we consider what we should do.
God is pleased with you , He will not withold anything to those that walk upright with Him, He will perfect that which concern you.
God Bless You Son/Daughter in Christ Jesus
everything will be okay...
Psalms 1:1 (King James Version)
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
1:2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
1:3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
great faith and obedience you have, what I have to add is that the Lord
will cause all things to work out for the both of you, because you are His remain steadfast, God will strengthen you both in my prayers
Last edited by yhwhshalomjr; 04-27-2009 at 09:45 PM..
Reason: so nice I said it twice!! (deleted a duplicate)
You already know it can be done....... it has been done. It won't be easy, many have tried and failed but if its truly G-ds will and your both in it for keeps then all you can do is pray about it and give it your all.
Whats the worst that can happen...... you'll break up? Okay so if you don't break up now and G-d forbid break up later at least you'll know you tried and won't wonder about what if's....
I say pray about it and give it your best. I am a hopeless romantic and believe that what G-d wills, will find a way! G-d bless you and may your heart find peace about this.
Good advice!!
I'll try to rep you again...
God Bless You
but I'm getting a lot of advice that is from a secular standpoint on dating that I just don't agree with.
Secular standpoint on dating and relationship. Absolutely the most stupid thing you'll ever hear. Many of them draw relationship advice from "Sex and the City"
You sound like a teenager (prom and all that). So, you also need to look at it from a practical standpoint. Early relationships and marriages can be misleading.
And distance is the ultimate relationship killer. It killed mine, twice. You should also be prepared mentally, if this relationship were to evaporate.
But abstinence is the key. Remember that God is against pre-marital sex. If she is the one for you and if you put your trust in God, it will all work out.
Secular standpoint on dating and relationship. Absolutely the most stupid thing you'll ever hear. Many of them draw relationship advice from "Sex and the City"
You sound like a teenager (prom and all that). So, you also need to look at it from a practical standpoint. Early relationships and marriages can be misleading.
And distance is the ultimate relationship killer. It killed mine, twice. You should also be prepared mentally, if this relationship were to evaporate.
But abstinence is the key. Remember that God is against pre-marital sex. If she is the one for you and if you put your trust in God, it will all work out.
Remember that marriages are made in heaven
Haha.... I've recently learned that secular advice on this issue is, for the most part, worthless.
You are right, I am young (we're both 18) and I'm relatively inexperienced in this area. This is why I’m seeking advice on this issue.
But I feel like we are leagues more mature than our teenage peers. That doesn't mean that we don't need help, in fact we need a lot of help! But I think that if we approach this carefully, put God first, and think of this practically, that it will work out for the best.
I feel like I need to at least give it a shot. Like psalm25 said, what's the worst that could happen? If we put God first in our relationship, no matter what the status is, I think that we can remain good friends and work this out with as little pain as possible.
Thanks again for the advice, everyone! God bless.
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