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Old 06-15-2009, 04:30 PM
 
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
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Default Mental Illness and Marriage

I have recently had encountered a couple of people who are dealing with a spouse with mental illnesses. These individuals are battling with keeping the marriage going and keeping their children safe from its affect on their lives as well as maintaining their own sanity. So what does scripture say regarding such an issues such as this! Should they remain married or divorce?
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Old 06-15-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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I would say separation might be an alternative to divorce. If the children are endangered by the one spouse, the other has the children's safety to be concerned about. Jesus never addressed this topic. I don't think Jews even knew what mental illness was, except perhaps being possessed by a demon. Paul, of course, speaks more broadly about divorce. Not to hijack the topic or digress, but would it be similar for a spouse who is physically, mentally or emotionally abused by the other, who also happens to be unsaved?
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Old 06-15-2009, 07:34 PM
 
Location: Out of Florida........
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eyewrist View Post
I have recently had encountered a couple of people who are dealing with a spouse with mental illnesses. These individuals are battling with keeping the marriage going and keeping their children safe from its affect on their lives as well as maintaining their own sanity. So what does scripture say regarding such an issues such as this! Should they remain married or divorce?

I say keep the children safe. We are their advocates and if one advocate is incompetent, the other one takes over!

Last edited by Betsey Lane; 06-15-2009 at 07:48 PM..
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Old 06-15-2009, 07:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eyewrist View Post
I have recently had encountered a couple of people who are dealing with a spouse with mental illnesses. These individuals are battling with keeping the marriage going and keeping their children safe from its affect on their lives as well as maintaining their own sanity. So what does scripture say regarding such an issues such as this! Should they remain married or divorce?

If they need to separate temporarily for the good of the kids, I can't blame 'em...but no--they should not divorce. They should work through it.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
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Originally Posted by kdbrich View Post
If they need to separate temporarily for the good of the kids, I can't blame 'em...but no--they should not divorce. They should work through it.
Mental illness just doesn't go away and you can't see the scars and it is more subtle requiring lifelong medications; that's if they continue to take it; affecting everyone around them mentally overtime resulting in additional mental and physical problems. "Generational issues" continuing because the children learned how to mimic the same behavior or end up marrying someone with the same mental issues because they consider it "normal."
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
I would say separation might be an alternative to divorce. If the children are endangered by the one spouse, the other has the children's safety to be concerned about. Jesus never addressed this topic. I don't think Jews even knew what mental illness was, except perhaps being possessed by a demon. Paul, of course, speaks more broadly about divorce. Not to hijack the topic or digress, but would it be similar for a spouse who is physically, mentally or emotionally abused by the other, who also happens to be unsaved?
I don't know.. I assume the case is the same. I will keep my opinion for now; just waiting for other responses
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Old 06-15-2009, 09:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by eyewrist View Post

These individuals are battling with keeping the marriage going and keeping their children safe from its affect on their lives as well as maintaining their own sanity.

Off the top of June's head: June's not a 'Christian' so she's not sure what her input would be worth. That being said, however, there is not enough information to really go on. This much June can say, however: People tend to define or attribute the term 'mental illness' differently. -But the portion of your post that drew June's attention was the reference to "battling" to keep the marriage going in order to keep the children "safe" from the effects on their lives.

Trust me: When one is battling to keep their marriage going, children are seldom, rarely "safe" from the "effects" of that. Children are infinitely more empathic than most tend to credit them as being. They pick up on nuances not just from the parent who is ill or struggling with major mental health issues, but they pick up on nuances from the parent who is in the designated role of "protector." -Who all too often, is unable to truly be one, nor should they have to be. In other words, in June's experience, kid's know. (They may not be able to articulate what it is they know, but on an emotional, affective level, they know.) -But again, alot depends on the situation, and what interventions are being made. (As opposed to concessions!)


Take extra gentle care.
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Old 06-22-2009, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by june 7th View Post
Off the top of June's head: June's not a 'Christian' so she's not sure what her input would be worth. That being said, however, there is not enough information to really go on. This much June can say, however: People tend to define or attribute the term 'mental illness' differently. -But the portion of your post that drew June's attention was the reference to "battling" to keep the marriage going in order to keep the children "safe" from the effects on their lives.

Trust me: When one is battling to keep their marriage going, children are seldom, rarely "safe" from the "effects" of that. Children are infinitely more empathic than most tend to credit them as being. They pick up on nuances not just from the parent who is ill or struggling with major mental health issues, but they pick up on nuances from the parent who is in the designated role of "protector." -Who all too often, is unable to truly be one, nor should they have to be. In other words, in June's experience, kid's know. (They may not be able to articulate what it is they know, but on an emotional, affective level, they know.) -But again, alot depends on the situation, and what interventions are being made. (As opposed to concessions!)


Take extra gentle care.
Thxs June. This is one of those topics that usually gets pushed (not swept) under the rug. It is a difficult question to ask but I see this so often that I myself never thought about how a Christian deals with it. Do they stay or divorce?

In fact those who use drugs also create this same mental dysfunction as the drug causes organic brain damage over time thereby the end results are quite similar. Therefore both situations are the same IMHO.
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Old 05-08-2010, 07:21 PM
 
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I have been divorced from a person who was mentally ill. He divorced me because his dad made him.
His dad was a pastor. He died six months later( his dad )died from a heart attack.I did not know that he was mentally ill at the time! Our daughter has the same mental illness. She is doing well now after a major struggle.My ex husband looks terribly depressed now. His sister takes care of him. We do not see him much because he lives in another town.
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Old 05-08-2010, 07:26 PM
 
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I understand the problems that this person is having. The mentally ill often can not think. They can not reason things out, so they can not be placed in a position of much responsibility. My son hates his dad
because he is ashamed of him. He is very intelligent and does not want to identified with his dad. His dad has a bad reputation. Everyone thought that he was lazy when in reality his mind was clouded with voices. He saw hallucinations, even thinking that I was the devil!!
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