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Old 08-22-2009, 06:53 PM
 
23,281 posts, read 11,497,258 times
Reputation: 3946

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicBoxBallerina74 View Post
lovesmountains, you were wrong to tell her that. The only trap she'll land in is hell. The Bible is God's word and God wants us to do things his way, not our way. Our way is mostly wrong. If she or anyone else is a GOOD CHRISITAN then they'll follow and obey God's word not matter what. No matter how bad it hurts or pain and suffering they go through. I know, I'm going through my own trial. She should listen to God's holy word and that only. Anything that goes against his word(truth) is a lie. And you're a flat out liar for telling her she doesn't have to stay in the marriage to be a good Christian. Shame on you! Get your Bible out and read it. Let God pull you out of the fire. Would you tell Christ that he didn't have go through all that suffering and die on that cross! To be our Savior! When we are Christians we will suffer! We learn to obey through suffering just like Christ did. You need to read or reread that Bible, you've made a mistake and you need to examine yourself. Christ warns that he will tell some people that think they're Christians, "I never knew you". Think about it for the sake of your soul. No, I'm not some religous nut, I love reading the Bible and I love my God and I believe in the truth.
Moderator cut: editted We are NOT Jesus and we are NOT to suffer at the hands of evil as He did. This attitude Moderator cut: and again...has no merit in it whatsoever.

I have avoided this thread . . . because like June I have far too much knowledge of these matters and the virtual intransigence and tenacious nature of them. Nevertheless, this attitude is a major contributor to the trap of experience that produces a long term exposure to abuse and destroys the capacity to escape. There is NOTHING Christian about tolerating abuse and God has no part in any of it. (Sorry June . . . I just lost it.)
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Old 08-22-2009, 07:00 PM
 
7,470 posts, read 7,185,202 times
Reputation: 2844
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticPhD

(Sorry June . . . I just lost it.)
June noticed.

It happens.

She "mod cut."

Let's all be good.
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Old 08-22-2009, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,179 posts, read 57,334,921 times
Reputation: 38468
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticPhD View Post
Moderator cut: editted We are NOT Jesus and we are NOT to suffer at the hands of evil as He did. This attitude Moderator cut: and again...has no merit in it whatsoever.

I have avoided this thread . . . because like June I have far too much knowledge of these matters and the virtual intransigence and tenacious nature of them. Nevertheless, this attitude is a major contributor to the trap of experience that produces a long term exposure to abuse and destroys the capacity to escape. There is NOTHING Christian about tolerating abuse and God has no part in any of it. (Sorry June . . . I just lost it.)
Glad you did - God is proud of you and so am I
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Old 08-22-2009, 07:05 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,394 posts, read 47,859,900 times
Reputation: 41833
3 way magic ---the way this works is the minute you divorce husband the side dish will look and smell like old dead fish
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Old 08-22-2009, 07:37 PM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,377,027 times
Reputation: 232
repent, and dont sin again.

You got a mighty long list of sins to be forgiven of....but if after all this your husband has not shot you with a shotgun he has proved to all he must be a Saint...

You will not even talk to your lover again for the rest of your life.
You will seek to draw closer to the family of your husband.
You will make the dreams of your husband your own dreams.
You will stand at your husbands side....forever.
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Old 08-22-2009, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,179 posts, read 57,334,921 times
Reputation: 38468
Quote:
Originally Posted by alanMolstad View Post
repent, and dont sin again.

You got a mighty long list of sins to be forgiven of....but if after all this your husband has not shot you with a shotgun he has proved to all he must be a Saint...

You will not even talk to your lover again for the rest of your life.
You will seek to draw closer to the family of your husband.
You will make the dreams of your husband your own dreams.
You will stand at your husbands side....forever.
The really sad thing is, I believe you think her husband would have been justified in "shooting her with a shotgun" if he had chosen to do so
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Old 08-22-2009, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Illinois
51 posts, read 54,920 times
Reputation: 33
I believe that marriage is a very sacred thing, and when you make vows, you should do your darndest to honor them. However, I would like to say that when abuse is involved, get out! God never intended anyone to live in an abusive relationship, male or female. Especially abuse to the extent that June described. That man was perpetrating every type of abuse there is. God never intended that. He commanded a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church. That man, and any man who abuses his wife, is absolutely NOT doing that. Also, if the children are being abused, you should get out. You are to be a protector of your children and staying in an environment where they are being abused is not fulfilling that duty. My husband, as a pastor, never counsels anyone to stay in an abusive relationship. In fact, he would urge them to leave and offer to help them find a safe place to go.

However, in the situation with the OP, I believe she needs to stay. I read nothing about abuse, and her husband is trying. Not to mention, the big problem here is lust and a "the grass is greener on the other side" attitude. JMHO
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Old 08-22-2009, 08:37 PM
 
7,470 posts, read 7,185,202 times
Reputation: 2844
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor's Helpmeet View Post

However, in the situation with the OP, I believe she needs to stay. I read nothing about abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by mseliz View Post

on my wedding day he called me a "stupid f'ing c*nt". I had been mowing the grass that morning (we got married at our farm) getting ready for guests and the mower wheel got stuck in the dirt of the tree-line, I called out for help from him, and voila, I was a **** !

This is only a teeny taste of his "way".
.
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Old 08-22-2009, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Illinois
51 posts, read 54,920 times
Reputation: 33
Sorry, admittedly it had been a while since I read the OP, and I must have overlooked that part. However, she said that he has changed and is kinder to her. In that case, I believe she needs to stay and work on the marriage. Obviously, he loves her and is trying to change. I think she wants to be with the other guy so bad, it doesn't matter how her husband changes, she is always going to be waiting for him to mess up so she'll have an "excuse" to leave.
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Old 08-22-2009, 09:08 PM
 
7,470 posts, read 7,185,202 times
Reputation: 2844
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor's Helpmeet View Post
Sorry, admittedly it had been a while since I read the OP, and I must have overlooked that part. However, she said that he has changed and is kinder to her. In that case, I believe she needs to stay and work on the marriage. Obviously, he loves her and is trying to change. I think she wants to be with the other guy so bad, it doesn't matter how her husband changes, she is always going to be waiting for him to mess up so she'll have an "excuse" to leave.
That's fair.

I honestly don't know. Unless husband has undergone a big cognitive restructuring as regards how he thinks (and feels) mostly about himself and others, then I don't know...If that can be obtained (truly obtained) through the bible and religion alone, (and forgive June for having her doubts) then okay.

Maybe.
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