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Old 08-22-2009, 09:08 PM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,343,791 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I believe you think her husband would have been justified in "shooting her with a shotgun"
Well not more than once...
I remember an argument I got into with member of my co-workers family about a topic very near this one.
We were in debate over the terms "adulteress" and "flirt"
There seems to be a lot of confusion as to when a married woman was acting like a big flirt with other men , or if she was actually acting like a two-timing S_ _T?

My view is that there is a clear division line between being a flirt and a "adulteress" ..that line is when "Mr Zipper" enters the story.

The same is true for us guys too!
Although I never would , I see many of my married friends being very 'friendly" to the girls we see at the bar or at the mall.
I guess they think it's all harmless fun?
Im not sure, but I do know that you have to respect the clear line between being a "big flirt" with the young girls,. and being a "sexual predator"...
Again the line come up when "Mr Zipper" enters the story....

My advice to my married guy friends is...
"Stay happy at home, Let your wife's breasts be all you need to lay you head down upon"!"
Because there is no telling how well you wife's dad taught her how to load and shoot a shotgun in the dark...
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Old 08-22-2009, 09:47 PM
 
1,703 posts, read 3,540,046 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alanMolstad View Post
repent, and dont sin again.

You got a mighty long list of sins to be forgiven of....but if after all this your husband has not shot you with a shotgun he has proved to all he must be a Saint...

You will not even talk to your lover again for the rest of your life.
You will seek to draw closer to the family of your husband.
You will make the dreams of your husband your own dreams.
You will stand at your husbands side....forever.
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Old 08-22-2009, 09:53 PM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,343,791 times
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That is what I think is the best path to take...

To never again even talk to the lover...
To draw closer and closer to the family of your husband.
To learn what the dreams of your husband are, and to make them your own too.
To stand with pride at your husbands side.
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Old 08-22-2009, 09:55 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,880 posts, read 56,395,569 times
Reputation: 37993
Quote:
Originally Posted by alanMolstad View Post
That is what I think is the best path to take...

To never again even talk to the lover...
To draw closer and closer to the family of your husband.
To learn what the dreams of your husband are, and to make them your own too.
To stand with pride at your husbands side.
I guess following the path God set for her, WHICH WE DO NOT KNOW FOR SURE INCLUDES HER HUSBAND, is out of the question for you???
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Old 08-22-2009, 10:02 PM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,343,791 times
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The path is spelled out in clear enough words.

basically to always stay married no matter what.
And that if you do end up in a divorce, you are to remain single and always open to the chance to reunite with your husband.

past that , Im not sure I could find any Text support for other advice to give her.

I know what we dont want to suggest, and that is that we only want her to 'be happy"
being happy is not the goal here.
being righteous is., being holy is, being obedient to the Word is....
But being "happy" is only the after-effect of a life well lived...

Seeking to be 'happy" is a path to damnation and destruction.

We should seek always to do what we see clearly in the text is what god wants us to do.
In this case the Word is clear....
The wife is to remain with her husband.....case closed.

Add to this the fact that no where in the bible is a Christian wife told she ever must get divorced, and you see the reason the text also tells us that "God hates divorce"

Last edited by alanMolstad; 08-22-2009 at 10:11 PM..
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Old 08-22-2009, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
44,880 posts, read 56,395,569 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alanMolstad View Post
The path is spelled out in clear enough words.

basically to always stay married no matter what.
And that if you do end up in a divorce, you are to remain single and always open to the chance to reunite with your husband.

past that , Im not sure I could find any Text support for other advice to give her.

I know what we dont want to suggest, and that is that we only want her to 'be happy"
being happy is not the goal here.
being righteous is., being holy is, being obedient to the Word is....
But being "happy" is only the after-effect of a life well lived...

Seeking to be 'happy" is a path to damnation and destruction.

We should seek always to do what we see clearly in the text is what god wants us to do.
In this case the Word is clear....
The wife is to remain with her husband.....case closed
Well, it may be clear to YOU, but I would suggest that your soul is not the one in jeopardy - HER's is - and she must be very careful to discern what GOD wants for her, not what you and anyone else trying to beat her upside the head with the Bible want.
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Old 08-22-2009, 10:19 PM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,343,791 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
be very careful to discern what GOD wants for her,.
The real danger in this type of situation is the selfdelusion that god will somehow over look what He has spoken in his word about sex outside of marriage and about marriage and divorce, and support our own divorce.

I have seen this type of self/lie all too many times.

People say out loud, "The Bible teaches that God hates divorce' yet think to themselves as they say it, "Except for my divorce, God does not mind that one"

We are then very guilty of breaking the Commandment to not take the name of the Lord in vain, ,,so the list of sins continues to grow as we draw closer to getting a divorce.

My advice, and what i think is the only advice anyone can support fully with the text is- Dont get divorced!
Stay married.
Draw closer to your husband.
Give your heart and life for him.
Turn his dreams into your own.
Put your husband ahead of your own life.

This is the path that leads to being the Holy Christian Wife
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Old 08-22-2009, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Pa
33,822 posts, read 19,991,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mseliz View Post
My tale is a long one,but I shall try to keep it brief. I have been married 9yrs to a man I know I should not have married. I was not living as a christian at the time although raised as one. I was miserable but felt I could not back out of the wedding. Years of physical and emotional abuse, alcoholism and controlling beahviour, made me unhappier and I looked elsewhere for "love" instead of just leaving him. I began an affair with a coworker that lasted 6yrs. Always feeling like I shouldn't leave, or what my family would think, as well as wondering if my husband could ever change, kept me from leaving... As well as a nice lifestyle...
I ended up pregnant and the father is my husband. My daughter is a year and a half old now. After paternity tests revealed my husband was the father, I ended the affair and never told my husband about it. I did though, confide in my sister about the ordeal at the time wehad paternity tests done. The other man was ready to begin a life with me if the child was his and if I wanted to leave my husband. We parted ways since the child was not his, and I felt obligated to begin again, a fresh start with a new baby.
My husband and I carried on together and just before she turned 1, I was going to leave. Instead, when I told him my plans, he moved out instead. Except he was mostly at home anyhow, and ended up moving right back in after a month.
We tried once more, went to counselling, but I was the only one trying. I gave it another 2 months and finally left. Moved in with a good friend.
A month after I left, the other man and I met up and began seeing each other again. Although we loved each other deeply, I felt remorse and guilt because I was married, and that it was "wrong". At the same time, my sister felt compelled to tell my husband that I had an affair, and the whole story about paternity tests etc came out.
I got blasted with hellfire and brimstone from my sister and all of a sudden my husband started going to church.
I felt obligated to go back one more time, that if God was to change my husband, then maybe we could work it out. I prayed that God would change me too, and I went home. I have been home just over 2 months and I have not been able to get the man I love out of my head and heart. It hurts terribly that I gave up the chance for us to finally be together, I walked away from the strongest love I have ever felt for a man. I have not seen him since I came back home, and have been 100 percent faithful and honest. I know my husband is trying his best, but I have absolutely no desire for him. I have prayed that God work work in me, and rekindle what there possibly might be for hope for a future with my husband. Feeling so obligated by my vows, I am trying to stick it out.
Things have changed, my husband is kinder to me, and although had a recent physical fight with his son (from a previous relationship) I have stuck by him, trying to do 'what is right'.
How long do I keep this up? How can I bury my feelings for this other man, I ache for him every minute. How can I let go of him and pretend I am happy now? I need advice!!! Not judgement, please.
Life is too short to be unhappy, divorce him..but beware their will be court things to worry about with the child. Keep your husband in your child's life but also let him know why his soon to be stepdad is sooo great!
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Old 08-23-2009, 03:31 AM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,343,791 times
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My advice is to always remember your wedding vows...

When temptation comes, open to where your wedding vows are written and read them so that you have always on your mind what you have given your word you would do
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Old 08-23-2009, 12:34 PM
 
9,501 posts, read 5,070,108 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alanMolstad View Post
Because there is no telling how well you wife's dad taught her how to load and shoot a shotgun in the dark...
lol
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