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I was in a Christian fellowship meeting once where we were talking about the role of a husband over his wife in the family.
There was one wife there that objected to about every verse that was talked about dealing with the duty of a Christian wife to submit at all times to her husband.
She told me that she could never be submissive, and that her marriage was fine without paying attention to all that bible "crap"
Well my answer put her in her place , I tell you!
I told her that I was happy her marriage had lasted as long as it had with her attitude.
I told her that I hope your husband stays true to his wedding vows for as long as you both shall live.
But then I told her something else....
Then I said- "If your husband ever does cheat on you, I cant predict off-hand what that girl he cheats on you with looks like.
I cant predict that she is thinner than you
I don't know if she is prettier than you
I don't know if she has bigger boobs.
But there is one thing I know about her just from talking to you for these few moments.
I know she has learned the value of submitting to attract your man and keep him interested."
That shut her up...
Last edited by alanMolstad; 10-13-2009 at 04:39 AM..
Ever look at dysfunctional families? Most often, they are headed by a neurotic woman, who has hen-pecked her man into submission. She makes EVERYTHING about her, and the man just "goes along with it," hoping to avoid conflict.
I've seen it, time and time again.
It destroys lives.
The man must be the head of the home.
There's nothing more worthless than an emasculated man, IMHO.
Ever look at dysfunctional families? Most often, they are headed by a neurotic woman, who has hen-pecked her man into submission. She makes EVERYTHING about her, and the man just "goes along with it," hoping to avoid conflict.
I've seen it, time and time again.
It destroys lives.
The man must be the head of the home. There's nothing more worthless than an emasculated man, IMHO.
I was in a Christian fellowship meeting once where we were talking about the role of a husband over his wife in the family.
There was one wife there that objected to about every verse that was talked about dealing with the duty of a Christian wife to submit at all times to her husband.
She told me that she could never be submissive, and that her marriage was fine without paying attention to all that bible "crap"
Well my answer put her in her place , I tell you!
I told her that I was happy her marriage had lasted as long as it had with her attitude.
I told her that I hope your husband stays true to his wedding vows for as long as you both shall live.
But then I told her something else....
Then I said- "If your husband ever does cheat on you, I cant predict off-hand what that girl he cheats on you with looks like. I cant predict that she is thinner than you I don't know if she is prettier than you I don't know if she has bigger boobs. But there is one thing I know about her just from talking to you for these few moments. I know she has learned the value of submitting to attract your man and keep him interested."
That shut her up...
This sort of reminds me of how the church I once attended took up for my H when he cheated on me with another married woman..They said I HAD to have done something wrong.. Then they wanted to know when I was going to rededicate
Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful responses. I really appreciate it.
I've been a Christian since before I was married and so far my husband and I have agreed on most issues so I've seldom felt angry or uncomfortable about submitting to him. The only time I've really had to pray about the issue is in the area of physical intimacy.
We were not intimate before marriage and after marriage I realized that he has little interest in it. I've tried everything --- I'm attractive and fit and read EVERY Christian book on the subject --- but after 15 years and much prayer I realize this is an area where I have to accept our differences and ask God to heal any hurt it has caused me. It seems to have gotten easier since I've made a conscious effort to submit my husband's wishes in this regard instead of trying to change him.
Anyway, the issue has come up recently with my sister and her fiance. He is very domineering and uses this verse to get his way whenever they have to make a joint decision. For example, he insists that they get married in his home state even though we have a larger family and my parents have offered to pay for the wedding. He's also asking that she quit her job, which she loves, because he doesn't like the fact that she has to travel for business once a month or so.
She's asked for my opinion (she doesn't want to disappoint God and she doesn't want to lose her fiance, but she doesn't want to give up all personal freedom after being single for 35 years either) and I just didn't have the Biblical background to advise her.
I'll definitely refer her to this board so she can read all of the Scripture-based answers people have posted. Thank you again!
We were not intimate before marriage and after marriage I realized that he has little interest in it. I've tried everything --- I'm attractive and fit and read EVERY Christian book on the subject --- but after 15 years and much prayer I realize this is an area where I have to accept our differences and ask God to heal any hurt it has caused me. It seems to have gotten easier since I've made a conscious effort to submit my husband's wishes in this regard instead of trying to change him.
Lisa we are not called to be attracted to our wives. We are called to love them as Christ loves the church-an unconditional love, too keep the covenant. It's not you, it's him. You did the right thing by seeking and obeying God, don't beat yourself up. It is clear God has given you the grace and rest over this decision and I will leave it at that.
Anyway, the issue has come up recently with my sister and her fiance. He is very domineering and uses this verse to get his way whenever they have to make a joint decision. For example, he insists that they get married in his home state even though we have a larger family and my parents have offered to pay for the wedding. He's also asking that she quit her job, which she loves, because he doesn't like the fact that she has to travel for business once a month or so.
I hope your sister reconsiders marrying this guy - he sounds extremely selfish and immature, as well as insecure. Who needs that kind of grief? And it'll be worse after marriage - not better.
Quote:
Lisa we are not called to be attracted to our wives.
Are you serious? I wouldn't want to be married to a man who wasn't attracted to me, sexually.
I hope your sister reconsiders marrying this guy - he sounds extremely selfish and immature, as well as insecure. Who needs that kind of grief? And it'll be worse after marriage - not better.
Are you serious? I wouldn't want to be married to a man who wasn't attracted to me, sexually.
I didn't say, we are not called to how Sundance wants us to be
I heard many men say, there wife is getting fat and they are becoming less attracted to them, so what now? again we are not called to be attracted to our wives.
For example, he insists that they get married in his home state even though we have a larger family and my parents have offered to pay for the wedding.
It His wedding!
He is the husband, it's his call to make.
If he decided to get marred out in the boondocks, then thats up to him and no one else business.
---------------------------------
He's also asking that she quit her job, which she loves, because he doesn't like the fact that she has to travel for business once a month or so.
Again, he is looking out after his family and he wants his wife at home and not off on the road.
I support this husband 100% and think I would do the same if I were him.
A wife should first and foremost, take care of the home...
--------------------------------------
She's asked for my opinion (she doesn't want to disappoint God and she doesn't want to lose her fiance, but she doesn't want to give up all personal freedom after being single for 35 years either) and I just didn't have the Biblical background to advise her.
Oh for the love of.....
She is getting married!
It's part of the package that you are no longer going to enjoy the same freedom you had when single.
This girl sounds like she needs someone to sit her down go over the whole "Marriage" idea, cuz she is clearly mixed up. --------------------------------
I'll definitely refer her to this board so she can read all of the Scripture-based answers people have posted. Thank you again!
I would love to be able to share with her a few things that she seems to have mixed up
Yes, now what? Are you suggesting that nothing should be done?
In the example you described, the husband should sit down with his wife, explain that he is concerned that she is not taking care of herself, and unfortunately, that does not enhance their intimate relationship.
It's called being honest.
Yes, there are some silly women who will shriek "you should love me UNCONDITIONALLY," while they stuff yet another Twinkie down their gullet, but if you are married to anyone with any sense at all, they will listen and heed your warning.
You say you have no basis to do this because adultery is the only grounds for divorce? Then continue on in your misery.
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