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Old 01-08-2010, 10:41 AM
 
193 posts, read 440,852 times
Reputation: 88

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Shawn_2828 View Post
Wow, I don't feel like God will send me to hell if I don't marry. Now if it is God's will for me to marry, then God will have to help me change my attitude toward marriage. He would have to do it in such a way that I wanted to get married. So, as of now I don't feel bad for wanting to be happy and single...... Marriage to me should be a choice and something you are not forced to do.

That's how I look at it. So, hey as of now I don't really know if God will send someone to hell for not getting married, but I feel that He want. Now, His will is something else. If you refuse His will, I guess that could be like disobeying Him. So, I could see how He would send someone to hell for that. So, just pray about it and seek His
You aren't saying if God has a special woman for you to marry and you refuse that he will send you to hell? In my honest opinion, I believe marriage is a punishment from God. I would be unhappy and unable to function for the rest of my life if I had to marry and have kids to be honest.
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Florida
478 posts, read 600,701 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Shawn_2828 View Post
Well, I am a Christian women that doesn't want to marry or have children. But I do understand that I have a poor image of marriage because of the bad marriages that I have seen. But I don't want to marry or have children.

My church family keeps telling me that I will have children, be a good mother and get married. But that makes me sick to my stomach because I don't want that..... But they keep saying it anyway. So, it really makes me mad.

Who cares about marriage and children, there is more to life than that for me. I enjoy my single life. Sorry, children to me seems more like a curse than a blessing. I don't want to be bothered with any kids and don't want to be brought down with having to take care of one, or two, or three.

I like my life just the way that it is. Don't get me wrong I love men, but just don't want to get married. Marriage is forever. What if I marry the wrong guy, well, I don't want to be unhappy, so I want to stay single.

Unless, God changes my heart about marriage and kids, I will stay single.... No matter what anyone says or think. If they want it, then they can get marriage and have a crap load of kids, it's not for me......

I love the idea that I can pick up and go when I want to without the baggage of a family running behind me.
It's very refreshing to read your candid, open feelings about marriage and having children. It's obvious that you are very happy with yourself and have a lot of self confidence, and have actually taken the time to really think out how getting married and, more importantly, having children will affect your life. WAY too many people just get married and have kids without even really thinking about it, because they think they are "supposed" to. And this is why very often children end up neglected or just not raised properly, because the parents, though they do love their children, probably wouldn't have had any kids if they were more honest with themselves. And as well why the divorce rate is so high.
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Old 01-09-2010, 11:52 PM
 
Location: Florida
478 posts, read 600,701 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fundamentalist View Post
That is what I am saying....Christians should court...dating is going from one person to the next, no commitment, no emotional investment; if the relationship is good you stay and when the relationship gets bad you leave. Dating is only a precursor for divorce
This just doesn't make any sense to me. How can two people get to know each other, and even decide whether or not they like each other if they don't date? Now when I say "date", that can mean anything- from going to lunch or dinner together, going bowling, even going to church together- whatever. It's just important for two people to spend quality time together getting to know and understand each other. Wouldn't that be considered "courting" too? I kind of thought courting and dating were pretty much the same thing myself. Of course if you are trying to say that people shouldn't be physically intimate with each other before marriage- that's sensible. I don't agree myself but I can certainly see where that is a reasonable way to go about things for some people. But that's more on the level of having a "relationship" which isn't dating- that would be the next step after dating.

Now you said, about dating "when it is good you stay, and when it gets bad you leave". Well right there is an excellent reason to date before marriage- at least at that point if things are bad you aren't married- imagine if you got married BEFORE you knew you and this other person were like oil and water together! So I'd say that NOT dating is definitely, without a doubt a precursor for divorce rather than the other way around.
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Old 01-10-2010, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Kennett Square, PA
1,194 posts, read 2,045,819 times
Reputation: 1027
I NEVER wanted to get married, but I did want to have children. That was a real struggle - and a huge TEMPTATION because my concept simply is not the Christian way. So I have remained single and childless because the alternative in a walk with Christ is nothing short of unseemly. I have "four-legged" children whom I adore, though.
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Old 01-10-2010, 03:13 PM
 
1,650 posts, read 3,188,484 times
Reputation: 1112
Quote:
Originally Posted by aktanner View Post
Lately, I have started liking women less and less. The problem is especially with Christian women. I do not like the idea of dating, marriage or having children. I was wandering if there are any Christian women out there who don't have a desire to marry and have children? I have not been on a date for many years becuase of my strong agnst against getting married and having children.
I would like to get married and have children some day, but I am not obsessing over it. I figure if God wants me to get married and have children, he will allow that to happen. If you have no desire to marry or date, then you should just remain single. There is nothing wrong with being single. God will not send you to hell for it. After all, Jesus himself was single while he walked on this Earth.

I have seen too many people get married for the wrong reasons and end up miserable and making their children miserable. They get married because someone told them that they needed to and then they end up divorced and paying child support.
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Old 01-10-2010, 04:16 PM
 
Location: On a road heaven bound !
10,233 posts, read 7,552,426 times
Reputation: 17775
Quote:
Originally Posted by aktanner View Post
I hope one day I can also feel comfortable with my feeling to be single. I myself try to desire marriage but I do it out of I have to marry or God will send me to the lake of fire.
If one choose not to marry it is not a sin....
The Scripture teach if one can stay single (and not lust) they are better off then marrying. They then can give all to the work of the Lord !!

1 Cor. 7:6-9
6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.
7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.


1 Cor. 7:25-40
25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is:
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none,
30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess,
31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.
32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.
33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.
35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry.
37 Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well.
38 So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.

Blessings
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:02 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,586 posts, read 5,031,222 times
Reputation: 572
Quote:
Originally Posted by aktanner View Post
You aren't saying if God has a special woman for you to marry and you refuse that he will send you to hell? In my honest opinion, I believe marriage is a punishment from God. I would be unhappy and unable to function for the rest of my life if I had to marry and have kids to be honest.
I am only saying if God has in His will for someone to get married and they refused it, then I don't know if God will send someone to hell of not. So, that I can't really answer. I can only say if God did, I could only see the reason being that someone refused His will.
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Old 01-11-2010, 09:06 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,586 posts, read 5,031,222 times
Reputation: 572
Quote:
Originally Posted by helios666 View Post
It's very refreshing to read your candid, open feelings about marriage and having children. It's obvious that you are very happy with yourself and have a lot of self confidence, and have actually taken the time to really think out how getting married and, more importantly, having children will affect your life. WAY too many people just get married and have kids without even really thinking about it, because they think they are "supposed" to. And this is why very often children end up neglected or just not raised properly, because the parents, though they do love their children, probably wouldn't have had any kids if they were more honest with themselves. And as well why the divorce rate is so high.
I am not against people getting married, I am only against people pushing their beliefs down my throat that I have to get married. Well, I heard Pastor Michael Bell talking about this issue, and he says it perfectly.

You can listen to his sermon, and it is not long.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5t9BixDuwE

I love how this Pastor explains the issue!!!!!!
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Old 01-14-2010, 04:06 PM
 
193 posts, read 440,852 times
Reputation: 88
I am not sure I even have a lot of female friends.
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Old 01-15-2010, 12:12 PM
 
Location: USA
1,882 posts, read 3,825,269 times
Reputation: 1948
Quote:
I believe marriage is a punishment from God.
LOL. There are probably some married men who'd agree with you. The problem is, there are many happy marriages. You just don't hear about them, like you do the unhappy ones......

Quote:
I am not sure I even have a lot of female friends.
I don't have a lot of female friends, either, and I am female. Most women are catty, back-stabbing, and disloyal. Women these days think it's all about them. They don't even know how to be a good wife; they don't understand...probably never been taught.
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