I am rejoicing! (Gospel, messages, church, beliefs)
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I finally came out from under the weight of my pastor of 8 years who preaches a false gospel...
...I came to the knowledge of the truth 14 months ago...it has been a remarkable year of growth as a Christian and has strengthened me so much spiritually!...and I finally know what true freedom feels like! I am so happy!
i'm sort of dealing with something like this and i'll be glad when it's over.
did you have an exit interview with your pastor?
Good morning gabfest......and thank you.
No, we didn't have an exit interview.
Getting to this point of separation has been quite a journey...something that has been building up now for 14 months...ever since the LORD blessed me with the knowledge of the truth. Since then, more and more every Sunday, every message my pastor taught would in some manner bring tears to my eyes. I would leave feeling as if something had sucked the breath right out of me...where I would have to come home and just cry out to God...sit in His arms, and let Him restore what I had lost there in the service...a very heavy burden to bear.
It took me a long time to leave because I was not willing to let go of what gave me so much pleasure...and what I knew gave the Lord so much pleasure as well...ministering to and praying for the people...leading them into the presence of the LORD in praise and worship, singing the alto part in our ensemble...which gave me so much joy...I only missed maybe 10 Sunday's in eight years...giving love to my First Love......but there just comes a time when you know...when you finally realize, that you have to let go of even the good when it is mixed with bad...when the bad hinders your growth. There was a lot of manipulation and control...and lies. I know God will give me a new song...in a new season.
The straw that broke the camel's back was last Sunday...
Our church has a tradition...we all gather in a circle holding hands and pray 30 minutes before service starts (we are a very small church...no growth in 16 years.....good people keep leaving)...from the very young to the very old we join hands...no one has to pray if they do not want to..so the one's who do have a prayer on their heart, do. I am one of about 6 people who always have a prayer for my church...for the pastor and his wife...and for the people and their needs...
...last Sunday, after our prayer circle had finished...the pastor's wife came up to me and asked me not to pray in the circle anymore...and she said it with a smile...after her initial request, she continued to talk and explain, but I didn't hear anything after that...I was swallowing hard...fighting back the tears...I just couldn't believe it. Her reason was to make the youth pray......they hardly ever pray...they are very shy...there have been a few who do, once in a great while, give a very timid prayer....but it is so precious...I encourage them when they do...but it isn't often.
So I did ask her one thing when she was finished...I asked, "So, what do I do if no one is praying...and there is just silence for a long time?" she replied, "Don't pray anyway...just let it stay silent."...and she walked away.
I did all I could through the rest of the service everytime I thought of it, to keep from crying.
It took me three days to decide that was it, I couldn't take anymore...plus...I never shook off the day, a year ago, when he called me into his office and told me if I ever ministered my beliefs (the truth) to anyone else, and he heard about it, he would have to ask me to leave...since then, I have kept my mouth shut...remained faithful to the ministry of music and prayer that God has given to me, thinking I would be able to balance it all together...but you cannot mix darkness with light...it is an unequal yoke...a very heavy yoke to bear.
But I am free now...praise God!...and it feels so good!...so liberating!
Verna, based on what you wrote, I understand how difficult it was for you to leave.
The last place I left was very hard, while I never agreed with everything at this church, I do not think anyone has to in order to make a difference. I had a great time there for the most part, problem was things started taking shape that simply outweighed the joy I had and the good I believed I was doing.
Because of feeling the need to stick it out under all circumstances that allowed some emotional abuse to take place against me that in the end only caused my pressure cooker to blow and much more damage took place than if I was free to go where I needed to go.
Again, I am really glad to read when people understand this kind of freedom, the freedom to leave places that abuse without the baggage attached that somehow you let God down.
You did not let God down, you stood up and made a statement that you will not tolerate abuse.
Getting to this point of separation has been quite a journey...something that has been building up now for 14 months...ever since the LORD blessed me with the knowledge of the truth. Since then, more and more every Sunday, every message my pastor taught would in some manner bring tears to my eyes. I would leave feeling as if something had sucked the breath right out of me...where I would have to come home and just cry out to God...sit in His arms, and let Him restore what I had lost there in the service...a very heavy burden to bear.
It took me a long time to leave because I was not willing to let go of what gave me so much pleasure...and what I knew gave the Lord so much pleasure as well...ministering to and praying for the people...leading them into the presence of the LORD in praise and worship, singing the alto part in our ensemble...which gave me so much joy...I only missed maybe 10 Sunday's in eight years...giving love to my First Love......but there just comes a time when you know...when you finally realize, that you have to let go of even the good when it is mixed with bad...when the bad hinders your growth. There was a lot of manipulation and control...and lies. I know God will give me a new song...in a new season.
The straw that broke the camel's back was last Sunday...
Our church has a tradition...we all gather in a circle holding hands and pray 30 minutes before service starts (we are a very small church...no growth in 16 years.....good people keep leaving)...from the very young to the very old we join hands...no one has to pray if they do not want to..so the one's who do have a prayer on their heart, do. I am one of about 6 people who always have a prayer for my church...for the pastor and his wife...and for the people and their needs...
...last Sunday, after our prayer circle had finished...the pastor's wife came up to me and asked me not to pray in the circle anymore...and she said it with a smile...after her initial request, she continued to talk and explain, but I didn't hear anything after that...I was swallowing hard...fighting back the tears...I just couldn't believe it. Her reason was to make the youth pray......they hardly ever pray...they are very shy...there have been a few who do, once in a great while, give a very timid prayer....but it is so precious...I encourage them when they do...but it isn't often.
So I did ask her one thing when she was finished...I asked, "So, what do I do if no one is praying...and there is just silence for a long time?" she replied, "Don't pray anyway...just let it stay silent."...and she walked away.
I did all I could through the rest of the service everytime I thought of it, to keep from crying.
It took me three days to decide that was it, I couldn't take anymore...plus...I never shook off the day, a year ago, when he called me into his office and told me if I ever ministered my beliefs (the truth) to anyone else, and he heard about it, he would have to ask me to leave...since then, I have kept my mouth shut...remained faithful to the ministry of music and prayer that God has given to me, thinking I would be able to balance it all together...but you cannot mix darkness with light...it is an unequal yoke...a very heavy yoke to bear.
But I am free now...praise God!...and it feels so good!...so liberating!
Sister take the time to rest and then find a new church. One that still stands in His truth. A remnant yet remains of the faithful and true. If you need me I can still be reached at any time. I am studying under a new source if you would like just let me know. I still check the messages daily.
After all that youve been thru there Im glad you moved on. There is a movement in the emergent church that wants us removed. It is getting more and more difficult to tell friend from foe. I encourage you to continue your search I know you will find the remnant close to your home.
In following Him, we will suffer rejection and sorrow - just as He did - but often He uses these times to do a work of grace in us that only the "wounds of a friend" can do. The result of His dealings will produce a spirit of joy in any storm, and the ability to face injustice with a heart of love toward those who persecute us (think of Calvary).
Verna, this may sound strange coming from an "exiter" myself (and in a school of my own currently), but get before the Lord and ask Him to deal with the part of you that suffered the hurt in this process. These can be the most precious times with Him, as He leads us into new dwellings.
God bless.
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...and thank you.
...but there just comes a time when you know...when you finally realize, that you have to let go of even the good when it is mixed with bad...when the bad hinders your growth. There was a lot of manipulation and control...and lies. I know God will give me a new song...in a new season.
...good people keep leaving)...from the very young to the very old we join hands...no one has to pray if they do not want to..so the one's who do have a prayer on their heart, do. I am one of about 6 people who always have a prayer for my church...for the pastor and his wife...and for the people and their needs...
...they hardly ever pray...they are very shy...there have been a few who do, once in a great while, give a very timid prayer....but it is so precious...I encourage them when they do...but it isn't often.
