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Old 05-11-2010, 02:05 PM
 
Location: california
6 posts, read 8,276 times
Reputation: 10

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I hope im posting this in the right place now.. Ok so can anyone please help me out? i need to find stories or scriptures from the bible about God being in control and the benefits of him being in control my Pastor tells me i have a problem with this (the control issue)and told me to go home and find stories or scritures from the bible where God is in control and the benefits of him being in control but i have read the and not even found the concordance helpful
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Old 05-11-2010, 03:11 PM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,830 posts, read 9,745,070 times
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Well, that was rude! If I may ask, how are you "controlling"?? Is it something you "do" or is it simply something your pastor thinks about you because you have a mind of your own? We know that God is ultimately in control, but you need to go back to your pastor and tell him what the below scripture says:

1 John 5:19
We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one

Hmmm....now that's interesting, isn't it? The whole WORLD is under the control of the "evil one". Who is controlling your pastor? Is he speaking out of turn or is he trying to control you? So, just because someone tells you something like you are a control freak doesn't make it true. Satan has dominion over the earth right now, but his time will come to an end. God is SOVEREIGN, as the below scriptures show:

Deuteronomy 3:24
"O Sovereign LORD, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do?

2 Samuel 7:28
O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.

I have a sneaking suspicion that you may not be the one with the problem, my dear. It's just a feeling I have. But you might want to elaborate more on what he views as your "problem".

.
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Old 05-11-2010, 03:29 PM
 
Location: california
6 posts, read 8,276 times
Reputation: 10
Dear ilene thank you for the repost it was helpful for me, its having to do with me and not being able to submit under a man and i have had 2 past relationships where i always feel like i have to be in control and not let God be God and Man be the Head of the Home... My husband passed in 2005 and in counseling with my Pastor the 2 prior relationships to that i was the bread winner so i felt i didnt have to submit thats the issue here so before i can move on and get into a new relationship he feels i need to know how to submit and let God be in control...
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Old 05-11-2010, 04:18 PM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,830 posts, read 9,745,070 times
Reputation: 58197
Quote:
Originally Posted by bleesed momof10 View Post
Dear ilene thank you for the repost it was helpful for me, its having to do with me and not being able to submit under a man and i have had 2 past relationships where i always feel like i have to be in control and not let God be God and Man be the Head of the Home... My husband passed in 2005 and in counseling with my Pastor the 2 prior relationships to that i was the bread winner so i felt i didnt have to submit thats the issue here so before i can move on and get into a new relationship he feels i need to know how to submit and let God be in control...
I knew it!! Somehow I knew this was about "submission". Arghhhhh!! I don't have time to respond right now but I will say that you are not the problem and that a woman is not required to be submissive to anything or anyone. I'll be back later to say more.
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Old 05-11-2010, 04:29 PM
 
7,856 posts, read 6,660,208 times
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Matthew 18: 3-6...``the disciples unto Jesus saying, Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven...... And Jesus called a little child unto him and set him in the midst of them.......and Jesus said...Verily I say unto you Except we be converted and become as little children you shall not enter into the kingdom of Heaven....... Whosoever therfore shall humble himself as this little child the same is greatest in the kingdom of Heaven..... and whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me......```..... see in a believer can resist being in control of all things then Jesus can lead that believer.....a little child will follow their parent and not control their parents,.....Because Jesus will give all beleivers the will to control their lives, but Jesus has a plan which will bless the believer and Jesus will not push the believer around to get Jesus plan working , the believer must humble their will and be lead for Jesus blessing or miss out ... and whoso shall recieve one such little child in my name receiveth me. Jesus said,,,, mean if a believer looks to another believer and can see the Lord Work in that person, some times you have to look hard to see Jesus Spirit which will resist the controling spirit that must be resisted....... Ways to be blessed in Christ...
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Old 05-11-2010, 04:33 PM
 
Location: california
6 posts, read 8,276 times
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thank u very much and i will be waiting for your reply..
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Old 05-11-2010, 04:41 PM
 
5,405 posts, read 4,656,644 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bleesed momof10 View Post
I hope im posting this in the right place now.. Ok so can anyone please help me out? i need to find stories or scriptures from the bible about God being in control and the benefits of him being in control my Pastor tells me i have a problem with this (the control issue)and told me to go home and find stories or scritures from the bible where God is in control and the benefits of him being in control but i have read the and not even found the concordance helpful
1 Pet. 5
[5]...Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
[6] Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
[7] Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
[8] Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
[9] Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
[10] But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
[11] To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
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Old 05-11-2010, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN
2,031 posts, read 2,684,480 times
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I don't know about Bible verses but read The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle. It's not written by a Christian, but it talks about how when woman try to control their husbands he doesn't think of you as a lover but instead as his mother. It talks about how you can stop being so controlling and your life will be so much easier. It was so helpful in my marriage because I was literally ruining my marriage by treating my husband like he was a child. I believe God showed me this book to save my marriage. I was trying to change my husband into someone he wasn't and I was constantly frustrated. I now realize that I needed to change myself and not him. It's a great book. My marriage couldn't be better!

I also recommend Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. This is a Christian book and the point is how the main thing a woman wants is love and a man wants respect. In the Bible it tells husbands to love their wives like Christ loves the church, but it doesn't say wives love your husbands because wives automatically love their husbands because this is how God designed females. We don't have to work at this, but we have to work at respect. God has designed men to naturally respect their wives, but they don't always show love. Once women start showing respect and men start showing love, the marriage works beautifully because this is show God designed marriage to be. It's a fabulous book.

Last edited by CantWait2Leave; 05-11-2010 at 05:49 PM..
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Old 05-12-2010, 02:58 AM
 
Location: Texas
4,346 posts, read 5,565,258 times
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My wife has learned that (even as dumb as I am) when she let's go completely and turns me over to God THEN God whips me into shape and everything works out somehow.

And the fact that she learned to trust me (though actually in God's ability to work in me) was VERY unnerving for me because it took away all my excuses for failure.

Now, don't tell her - but it works the same way from my end. All I can work on is me and the better I do at supporting and listening to her views the more she is willing to trust my decisions.

It's a partnership and a win win for all but sometimes one party has to get the ball rolling. Then it snowballs into something beautiful.
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Old 05-12-2010, 07:16 AM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,830 posts, read 9,745,070 times
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Ok, Miss Blessed Momof10 Is that for real? You have 10 children?? If that's the case then I feel for you, I could barely manage one. I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband....that's been very hard on you, I'm sure. Cantwait2leave gave you some good book references (above) so maybe that will help. As far as submissiveness, maybe you were not the problem with these two past boyfriends. Sounds like, if you were the bread winner, that they were losers to begin with.

You probably went to your pastor seeking advice and all you got was him telling you that you were the problem. Being a self-assured, self-made woman, which I am sure you've HAD to be, does not mean you are controlling. You already know that God is in control, and you must go to Him in prayer about these things. But having to be self-sufficient is a good thing. It means you don't have to have a man in your life. A good one, a true man of God, is very hard to find.

All I can do is give you some scriptures that helped me, not so much with a man but with my relationship with Christ. I don't have a man in my life and I prefer it that way, but I'm not totally against a relationship with a man who loves the Lord above all else.

This really helped me even when I didn't have a husband:

Proverbs 31:10-31 (New International Version)


10 [a] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.


As far as what role a woman should play and how she should BE this speaks volumes. But it says nothing about losing herself in the process. Also, remember that woman was created to be a helpmate, not a slave. A good wife or girlfriend would be one who strives to be like the above, and a woman without a husband or boyfriend would also strive to be like the above. That's me. I learned it a little too late, but it applies to the relationship I have with my Savior.


Eve may have been created second but she was equal to and a part of Adam.



Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.


One flesh.......they shall be one flesh!! Does not say one is better than the other or even that they are separate.....but one. How can one flesh be anything other than equal?


Genesis 2:18-24



18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."


Here we see that Eve was created as a "helper". God did not want Adam to be alone. She was created equally as they became one flesh.


19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam [a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs [b] and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib [c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, [d] '
for she was taken out of man."

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.


And there you have it. No mention of submissiveness. A man and a woman were meant to complement one another so much so that they become one flesh. Yes, we have different strengths and weaknesses but that in no way means one sex is better than another or should be worshiped. It means we are equal, created equal and should treat each other with mutual respect. Hope this helps you somehow....I know I've rambled on and on but this is something that is close to my heart. I wish you all the best in your relationships and with your children.
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