U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Christianity
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-18-2010, 11:47 AM
 
199 posts, read 353,125 times
Reputation: 115

Advertisements

I am part of a very religious family, but my brother decided to become an athiest several years ago. At the time, it didn't bother me that he was an athiest, but over the last several years athiesm has completely consumed his entire life. He started up an athiest group and he spends all of his time on athiest websites and chatrooms. He no longer goes to sporting events, movies, or concerts unless it is somehow tied in with athiesm. He has also become difficult to talk to because he is constantly making sarcastic remarks about christianity. Even his facebook posts are all athiest related, some of which openly refer to christians as idiots. As a result of all these things nobody in the family looks forward to seeing him at the family reunions or holidays. He is no longer the fun loving person that he used to be.
I've known lots of athiests, and normally I get along with them just fine because they usually have more going on in their lives besides athiesm, but I don't know what to say to my brother. He is pissing off the family and I can't think of a way to tell him that he is acting like Moderator cut: deleted - inappropriate Does anybody have any suggestions about how I can deal with the situation?

Last edited by june 7th; 05-20-2010 at 10:18 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-18-2010, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,303 posts, read 1,804,878 times
Reputation: 710
Moderator cut: edit

I think being straightforward and honestly telling him how you feel is the best approach. Tell him you're fine with his atheism, but you nor your family likes being thought of as idiots. Ask him how he'd feel if everyone assumed he was an immoral, devil-worshiping, mad at god, nutcase. If he wouldn't like to be viewed in such a way, then perhaps he shouldn't look at all Christians as idiots. I'd demand the same basic amount of respect he would.

I'd also ask him why he only associates with things related to atheism and for what reason. I can understand the need for an atheist social group, but to only associate with such things sounds really weird to me.

Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-20-2010 at 10:06 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2010, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Western Cary, NC
4,349 posts, read 6,485,786 times
Reputation: 7265
Not knowing his age it would be hard to tell if it was a maturity issue. The fact he has chosen the Atheist philosophy in the last two years tells me he is still learning his way around the new knowledge base.Moderator cut: edit I would suggest you back off, and if he offends you let him know. As a “new” Atheist he may be sensitive and see your actions as subtle pushes toward your religion.
In retrospect I can tell you I have a sister who practices one of the protestant religions, and we have never had an issue related to my atheism, nor me to her following of what I see as a myth. The part of each of us that is really important doesn’t involve religion. It involves respect, and we give that freely.

Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-20-2010 at 09:47 AM.. Reason: edit to move to Christianity forum
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2010, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Metromess
11,798 posts, read 21,341,330 times
Reputation: 5054
Tell him that he should cultivate a "live and let live" attitude. It will help him live longer. I'm an atheist myself. But he is hurting the atheist cause by making people think we are all like that. Moderator cut: insult

Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-20-2010 at 09:48 AM.. Reason: insulting remark about a certain group
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2010, 10:11 PM
 
Location: Vermont
10,089 posts, read 10,604,044 times
Reputation: 13438
It sounds as though he has a lot of resentment for an oppressive upbringing.

A private, nonconfrontational conversation might help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2010, 10:14 PM
 
Location: Boise
2,008 posts, read 2,908,048 times
Reputation: 729
Moderator cut: edit .. from his perspective I imagine he thinks that you just don't like his new found atheism and you're trying to tear him away from it. If you want to talk to him, be sure that you're clear about the problem being his attitude and not his world-view. When anyone thinks their world-view is under attack it puts them on the defensive and everything sent their way just ends up being ammo.

Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-20-2010 at 09:51 AM.. Reason: part of your post was answering a deleted one..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-19-2010, 04:20 AM
 
Location: The Milky Way Galaxy
2,256 posts, read 5,901,941 times
Reputation: 1505
Although rarer than Islamic and Christian extremists, I'm sure you have the atheist extremists as well. Not sure what the fix is here...I would say definite mediation from a 3rd party who comprehends both sides well. You could make it known to him that its ok to be an atheist but its to the point where its consuming his entire life.

Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-20-2010 at 10:00 AM.. Reason: editing to move to Christianity at op request
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-19-2010, 09:10 AM
 
Location: NC, USA
7,088 posts, read 12,696,306 times
Reputation: 3975
What to do about athiest brother?

Leave him alone, he has as much right to his beliefs as you do to yours.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-19-2010, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina
5 posts, read 4,689 times
Reputation: 12
Nothing can be "done about him," considering you cannot change his personality. However, you can help maintain his newly-found behaviour by explaining that atheism is a simple disbelief in God and nothing more, which does not require things like the atheist clubs and the like.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-19-2010, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Western Cary, NC
4,349 posts, read 6,485,786 times
Reputation: 7265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Audrey "The Provocative" View Post
Nothing can be "done about him," considering you cannot change his personality. However, you can help maintain his newly-found behaviour by explaining that atheism is a simple disbelief in God and nothing more, which does not require things like the atheist clubs and the like.
It may not require membership in an Atheist organization, but it surely does not restrict him from joining groups of like thinking people.
I would view his need to be defensive as a reaction of having religion pushed on him both past and present. Moderator cut: editThere is a natural anger which many Atheist feel when they take a world look at the cost and insanity of the religious myths.
In many cases family may not recognize their subtle pushes as being the catalyst of his more defensive behavior. As an Atheist, I can tell you I pick up on them in a heart beat. I will ignore it for a while, but if I feel like it is a push with out the respect I give their religious views, I will singe some feathers.Moderator cut: edit .
I still say back off, and make sure you or others are not pushing the old time religion on him or grow a thicker skin.

Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-20-2010 at 09:58 AM.. Reason: editing to move to Christianity at op request..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Christianity
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top