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Old 02-20-2013, 10:07 AM
 
5 posts, read 7,558 times
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We currently live in a rural community in east Clermont County and are wanting to leave the school system for a few reasons. One reason is that my son has been bullied and is now doing online school. Another reason is that the school is so small and there aren't a variety of friends to choose from and everyone knows everyone else's business, etc. As parents, my husband and I think the school system lacks rigour and extra curricular activities. The problem is we're divided as a family on what school system to move to. My daughter's in 7th & my son's in 4th grade. My husband & I grew up out of state so we're not that familiar with the local schools and a few people we have asked all say they "love" their own particular school system.

My daughter wants to go to Forest Hills (she's undecided about Anderson vs. Turpin), and my son wants to go to Loveland because they think they will fit in better with the kids there based on school tours but they really don't know any of the kids or if they would really would "fit". My husband and I think Milford might be an option. I believe all of these schools are basically equal in the quality of education and and choices of extracurricluar activities.

I really would love for my kids to go to a school where the kids are friendly Does anyone have an opinion on which school system has friendly students, parents, communities? My concern is that my kids will have a difficult time making new friends at their grade levels since many friendships may have already been formed. Is any one school a little better at welcoming new students?

I know that we have to live in the school district to attend Forest Hills or Loveland, and that we have to apply every year to attend Milford through open enrollment (and it's a year by year decision, and I was told there is no guarantee for every year that open enrollment will be available because it's based on current capacity, etc). Since we'll have to most likely move anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts on where you'd suggest. Thanks so much!
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Mason, OH
9,259 posts, read 13,358,349 times
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You are posing an interesting question. Sorry to hear your son has been experiencing some bullying, that is not acceptable. My off the top would be Forest Hills as it encompasses a pretty economically diverse area.

And unfortunately we do have to face a simple fact, economic status has a lot to do with how well you will do in a given school district. It shouldn't, but it does. It is like the unspoken politically incorrect nono but is very real. Move to where you feel you most economically fit in and the rest will adjust to itself.
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Old 02-20-2013, 02:24 PM
 
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Thanks for your reply! I was thinking the same thing. I wanted the school to be a good "fit" in many ways. When I look at the demographics of those school districts, they seem to have mostly "middle class" families (which is probably how I'd describe our family). My husband and I are both college educated professionals, but we live a very modest lifestyle.

My husband and I were both raised in middle to upper class families and went to a high school out of state with students of similar backgrounds, but those kids were judgmental, unfriendly and basically "snobby" (perhaps they were a reflection of their parents who were very focused on status and materialism). I was so turned off by that school experience, that we intentionally moved to the country. However, the country life doesn't seem to be working out for our kids either.

I'd like for my kids to have the opportunity to make friends with "friendly" kids who have similar goals and values for a good future (having a similar economic background isn't a prerequisite though perhaps it may indirectly be a factor). Ideally I'd like for the schools to have students that are accepting and non-judgmental (because that's how my husband and I strive to live our lives and how we raise our kids), but I realize human nature sometimes intereferes and kids tend to gravitate to others who are similar to them economically or are influenced by their parents. Additionally, peer pressure probably plays the biggest role of all.

I want our family to make the right choice, but we're just not sure what that is. Thanks for any suggestions or input!
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Old 02-20-2013, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Mason, OH
9,259 posts, read 13,358,349 times
Reputation: 1919
In my opinion the more recent expansions of both Milford and Loveland have been to the upper side of middle class, at least the prices of the homes in the subdivisions. With the decline in real estate some of the current values may be on the Why did we do this? part of the spectrum.

A large percentage of the Forest Hills school district has been there for years. It covers quite a variety of eonomic backgrounds. So I would expect the student population to be more economically diverse.

One of the problems with a public forum such as this is an outright frank discussion of economic awareness. It is considered politically incorrect and even worse racist. Draw your own conclusions and good luck.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:25 AM
 
190 posts, read 178,065 times
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You may want to take a look at Kings. They are fairly proactive about dealing with bullying. It's a smaller school district, but big enough for your kids to have some choices in friends. But if you can swing Loveland, that may be your better bet overall. I've been told by a couple of reliable sources that Kings and Loveland are comparable academic-wise at the elementary & intermediate levels, but that Loveland is a better choice for the higher grades.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Westwood
213 posts, read 538,599 times
Reputation: 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by LB810 View Post
We currently live in a rural community in east Clermont County and are wanting to leave the school system for a few reasons. One reason is that my son has been bullied and is now doing online school. Another reason is that the school is so small and there aren't a variety of friends to choose from and everyone knows everyone else's business, etc. As parents, my husband and I think the school system lacks rigour and extra curricular activities. The problem is we're divided as a family on what school system to move to. My daughter's in 7th & my son's in 4th grade. My husband & I grew up out of state so we're not that familiar with the local schools and a few people we have asked all say they "love" their own particular school system.

My daughter wants to go to Forest Hills (she's undecided about Anderson vs. Turpin), and my son wants to go to Loveland because they think they will fit in better with the kids there based on school tours but they really don't know any of the kids or if they would really would "fit". My husband and I think Milford might be an option. I believe all of these schools are basically equal in the quality of education and and choices of extracurricluar activities.

I really would love for my kids to go to a school where the kids are friendly Does anyone have an opinion on which school system has friendly students, parents, communities? My concern is that my kids will have a difficult time making new friends at their grade levels since many friendships may have already been formed. Is any one school a little better at welcoming new students?

I know that we have to live in the school district to attend Forest Hills or Loveland, and that we have to apply every year to attend Milford through open enrollment (and it's a year by year decision, and I was told there is no guarantee for every year that open enrollment will be available because it's based on current capacity, etc). Since we'll have to most likely move anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts on where you'd suggest. Thanks so much!
Why not consider private schools for your kids? Ours are in private schools both on the grade school and high school levels and it's been the best financial investment we've ever made.
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:06 PM
 
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Misfit Toy: Thanks so much for mentioning Kings. I will definitely look into it. Also, thanks for your thoughts on Loveland.

Montrell: Thanks for your suggestion. We are considering private schools as well though we prefer non-demoninational schools. The closest private school is a small Catholic school, and I was told that my daughter would've been the only non-Catholic in her grade when I looked into the school a few years ago (which made her a bit nervous). We had looked at a non-denominational private school about 25 minutes away, but when we found out there would only be 14 kids in my son's grade he wasn't sure how that would work out with there only being about 7 or so boys in his grade. We're still keeping our options open and looking into private and public schools. Thanks for your thoughts.
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:40 PM
 
1,130 posts, read 2,022,655 times
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You may not like my opinion, but maybe your son would be better off staying where he is and figuring out how to deal with it. What are you going to do the next time when you uproot your whole family and he gets bullied at the next the school, too? Kids will be kids, and there will always be bullies. At some point you have to suck it up. You can't run away from it. You might find that in running away, you are teaching your son the wrong thing by sheltering him from the realities of life.

Take it from someone who had more than his fair share of dealing with bullies in school.

If you change schools, make sure you do it for the right reasons, and don't swap one set of problems for another.
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:58 PM
 
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We've considered that as well. It's just that when he came home crying almost everyday from the beginning of the school year, I knew something needed to be done. We tallked with the administration and teachers but eventually the 4-5 boys in his class continued their name calling, teasing, making fun, etc. It's such a small school that he felt so lonely. He thought the boys were his friends but they all "ganged" up together against him for fear of being the next "victim". These boys all played sports together and it happend on and off the field. It's actually been going on for a couple of years. This year was the worst by far. He was scared to go to school everyday and couldn't concentrate. His grades plummeted and his self-esteem was practicallly gone. I don't want to teach my kids to always run away from their problems, but I really worried about the long-term affects of this cruel behavior. I was just hoping to learn about some alternatives that we could consider. My daughter experienced some of it too, but it didn't affect her nearly as much as my son (and wasn't so daily). Sometimes I think I'm looking for the "perfect" school, which I know doesn't exist. We're really confused about what to do.
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Old 02-27-2013, 10:43 PM
 
1,130 posts, read 2,022,655 times
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Well, it's true that it's easier for such a small group to band together into an alliance against someone they deem to be an outsider. I wonder, though, if you've ever taken time to figure out what makes your kids, and your son in particular, the outsiders? That may equip you with valuable information to help him assimilate better if you do make a move. I remember a mediochre 80s movie about misfit kids, and the sympathetic school principal said, "If you give off signals that you don't want to belong, people are going to make sure you don't." It was the only redeeming quality of the movie, but it is a true statement. It's unfortunate that kids who march to their own drummer can't be themselves, but it's the challenge of socialization for youngsters.

Something else to think about...

I recall that in grade school two separate occasions where persistent problems with bullies finally reached a head, and I ended up in fights, once on the school bus, once in the halls of school. I didn't start either fight, but I was pushed to a point where I was not willing to back down. I'm not endorsing fighting to solve problems, but what was rather amazing to me as first a 5th grader and later a 7th grader, both of my enemies after the fights had gained a new found respect for me, and in fact afterward were downright cordial. It was as if we had finally aired it out. I was astounded at the change in attitude at the time.

Another situation was handled much more peacefully when my family intervened, but not in a way you would expect. It was done in a way that at the time, I really didn't understand what they were trying to do. Rather than complain to the school or involve some other authority, they invited one of my detractors on a family outing with us, as if he was a best friend. I guess it was a variation on "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." I thought they were nuts at the time, but I think it was rather disarming to the bully. I think he got to see me as more of a person and was probably guilted into acting better by the generosity he was shown. After that, I was pretty cool in his eyes.

My point in sharing this is that there may be alternatives, some of them not pleasant, but they're worth considering.
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