worried about step son in westwood (Cincinnati: renting, health insurance, attorney)

[bailey19782000]

my husband would like to know what to do now for the sake of his son. to make a long story short..... my husband moved to cincy to attend trade school in 2003 met this girl and they dated for a while, he finished school and they got back together briefly (2 months). in january 2005 he moved back home to tennessee got married started his career and in august 2006 he was called to take a dna test on a kid that she had. husband pays support gets visitation when he can but then he finds out that the babys mother was caught buying crack in OTR, not once but several times. she has called him many times telling him she is so messed up she feels like she is going to pass out. she thinks that is funny. my husband has contacted 241-kids 7 times and still nothing has been done about this. he has petitioned the juvenile court 3 times for custody and it was dismissed. i would like to know what makes you an unfit parent in the eyes of the hamilton county welfare system? i would think that taking your child to buy crack would be one of the things. its not just crack either she has been busted with cocaine possession, several ovi's , and has been living with an abusive drug dealer. my husband doesnt know what to do here. he is afraid that if he leaves his son with her he will either end up a drug addict or worse yet dead.

[Heaveno]

This post would probably be better served or responded to under "Parenting" on the general forum board.

[Pathwalker]

That's pretty messed up. I can't imagine why the system is treating this situation the way it is. Does your husband have a sketchy background, too? I'm not trying to say that in an insulting manner - but if it's the case, that might have something to do with it. (Since you didn't actually confirm it, I'll presume the DNA test concluded your husband was indeed this boy's father...?) If your husband is clean, I'd say you guys should contact a good quality attorney with a strong reputation and take it from there. It's a pity that a child should be in such a situation.

[bailey19782000]

actually my husband is an average hardworking drug free individual without a criminal record. the dna test came back 99.997% that he is the father. the court has been bumping him around for the last year over this , mostly because they were never married and we live in tennessee about 5 hours away. the attorney he had was named o conner and he pretty much gave him no hope. told him the best hope he has is if the state steps in and proves her unfit.

[Pathwalker]

It boggles my mind that the courts wouldn't already see she is an unfit mother after being arrested several times for buying drugs!

[zorst]

A buddy of mine went through a similar thing. Keep petioning if you can I think it was about 3 three years before he got his son back. I might be wrong but it appears that for some resaon the courts think men are incapable of raising children.

[bailey19782000]

Originally Posted by zorst

A buddy of mine went through a similar thing. Keep petioning if you can I think it was about 3 three years before he got his son back. I might be wrong but it appears that for some resaon the courts think men are incapable of raising children.

you are exactly right. the juvenile court system basically told my husband that unwed fathers in ohio have no rights until the court gives it to them. we lives in a rural area north of knoxville tennessee , about 41/2 to 5 hours away. they wouldnt even give my husband visitation because they said it wasnt in the " best interest" of the child to travel that far and the standard weekend visitation rule wouldnt apply because of my husbands work schedule. i really dont see how it is not in the best interest of the child to spend time with his father. i think ohio and everywhere else needs to really evaluate there laws here because it is definately a double standard where men are involved in these situations. men have no rights to raise there " illigitimate" children but they definatelyhave the right to pay for them! the amount of child support they have to pay in some cases is insane. my husband pays 500 a month in support for one child and that is with deductions for 2 other children he supports ( that live with us) plus it costs him 300 a month for health insurance for his son. when the order was established his x was ordered to get a jobn within 6 months and maintain health insurance for the baby. it has been about 2 years and she is still unemployed and gets medicaid. what about holding her in contempt? doesnt really make a whole lot of sense to me.

[PG77]

Just a comment about the system there in Cincinnati...I lived in Cincinnati all my life up until about six years ago. I used to work for a health clinic. There was a lady who was a schizophrenic and had a little boy. They took him away from her for awhile. They gave him back to her and when he was five years old she killed him. That shows you how their system operates there.