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If you have it all figured out, why aren't you successful at this?
I have had a house full of millennials for decades. I have two millennial sons who had to fight the girls off with a stick before marrying well. But, they are both friendly, happy, interesting guys with reasonable goals. In the end, that is all the ladies really want. Someone with whom they can engage and share those goals. If that is not happening for you, trust me, its about you not them. I'm not trying to insult you, but you need to accept that your relationship failure is not someone else's fault. Its your fault. When you accept that, you will turn things around.
Because I'm unlucky, that's why. I wasn't born privileged, and I'm not going to be wealthy as a teacher anytime soon, even when I have a classroom of my own, not subbing.
I'm not denying that your sons are friendly, happy, or interesting guys with reasonable goals, but do they make six-figures? I'm not trying to insult you myself, but I've noticed the wealthiest men are also considered the "best", and "most friendly", just because of how much money they make.
I'll definitely look into teaching English as a Second Language in foreign country! That sounds fun!
As for most women not wanting a man who makes less than them, that doesn't bother me too much. What does bother me are women who don't work, or have low-wage jobs themselves who still expect guys to make six-figures. The latter part is a huge problem among most Millennial women. They act entitled to everything.
The only guys I know who attract women are popular guys, who are only popular because they are wealthy. Again, my generation is full of closed minded snobs. Even when I get a teaching position of my own, via contract, I still won't be rolling in the dough anytime soon.
A lot of women, of all ages, make rules that make sense only to them and then unilaterally move the goalpost when it suits them. Get used to it.
I had to laugh at your last paragraph. Yes, being wealthy helps, but I've known a ton of guys over the years who fit one or more of the following categories - unemployed, underemployed, alcoholic, involved in illegal activities, on probation, flat-out broke - and who were getting women like they were rock stars. I'm not saying to be a broke unemployed alcoholic on probation. I am saying a $100K salary is hardly necessary to get dates.
Speaking of rock stars, do you have any music experience? If not, buy a bass, learn how to play it, and join a band. It's both a good way to get some more guy friends while meeting women.
"Our friend" is substitute teaching. Odds are the teachers around and even other "professionals" aren't taking him seriously as he's "only a sub," i.e., temporary. His actual income to live on is from something like retail sales, which not only is usually a different educational level and often odd hours but given current economic forecasts rather uncertain. Meanwhile, he's getting older by the day and perhaps has a parent or two with the ideas of "My son the (whatever)" as well as being personally interested in an "expected" life.
He needs a girl rather in the same boat who likes him.
I have a lot of friends in similar situations (underemployed males) and there's a catch.... for a girl, being underemployed is socially acceptable while for a guy it is not.
So even if the guy and girl are in the same situation, it makes the odds decent but not great, if that makes sense, while eliminating all chances with adequately employed college educated girls.
It's a catch-22.
Said girls then proceed to complain how there's not enough good guys out there, all while ignoring what's right in front of their face.
The same issue happens with body image, which is almost less excusable now than actual employment status in the social media generation. All girls give to do is be skinny, toning be dammed, while guys have to be big, muscular, cut,and narcissistic enough to put up hundreds of pictures of themselves on social media to create a fake persona of themselves while camouflaging their boring and mean personality. CP, millennials are screwed and got screwed, (figuratively only, not literally).
Source - a guy who is adequately employed but faces the uphill and moronic pointless body image challenge because I'm skinny
To the OP - that year away teaching in a foreign land is actually a great idea. The Peace Corps offers a lot of great opportunities, and if you've had Calc 2 you're qualified to teach math in many developing countries. Worth considering for sure, I'd go for it if I was in your shoes, a year isn't bad at all.
RedsBengalsFan - you are getting, largely, very good advice from some of the mature guys commenting here. But, it seems you want to refute it, for some reason. As if people and romantic dynamics have mostly changed in the last couple of decades. No, not so.
I have no magic answer for you (I also believe that Wilson's advice was good) but will add a few things:
1) No, it isn't all about having/making a lot of money. BUT, you need to not consider girls for whom that is an important factor. Just move along. You are shooting yourself in the foot and creating a negative feedback loop for yourself if you pursue or obsess over girls that aren't the right ones for you.
2) Be aware something. Plenty of guys either want to do all the talking OR do very little of it. It's bizarre and both types are equally annoying. Actually, I may have a bit of a magic bullet for you. Men, in general, ask very few questions about other people. They often know very little about friends they've had for years. And many don't know nearly as much as they should about their girlfriends or wives. It's true. You will shine relative to other guys if you are genuinely interested in a girl. She will feel special and valued and you will stand out in her mind.
2) I'm an Ohio River native myself but have spent over 25 in the Southeast. Let me tell you something very directly. Yes, the people of the Southeast are generally more everyday friendly. But, you must understand that it is on a very superficial level. I cannot possibly emphasize that enough. Date a Southern girl (same with guys here) and most of the time you will be left wondering what she thinks, who she is, what she wants, how she regards you or most anything. They are the most indirect people you will ever meet, were raised that way and old habits die hard so they aren't going to change. So, if good, honest, decent communication is at all important to you -- I wish you much luck in trying to get that from a girl born and raised in the SE.
3) For many great reasons, the "go teach abroad" idea is an excellent one. Take advantage of this youthful time in your life, when your responsibilities are few, and go see part of the world! It ONLY pays dividends, trust me about that.
A lot of women, of all ages, make rules that make sense only to them and then unilaterally move the goalpost when it suits them. Get used to it.
I had to laugh at your last paragraph. Yes, being wealthy helps, but I've known a ton of guys over the years who fit one or more of the following categories - unemployed, underemployed, alcoholic, involved in illegal activities, on probation, flat-out broke - and who were getting women like they were rock stars. I'm not saying to be a broke unemployed alcoholic on probation. I am saying a $100K salary is hardly necessary to get dates.
Speaking of rock stars, do you have any music experience? If not, buy a bass, learn how to play it, and join a band. It's both a good way to get some more guy friends while meeting women.
Are you a Millennial, or have friends who are? Because the only males in my generation who get women like "rockstars" are the high social status, and wealthy men. I have came across some middle-aged "losers", so to speak, who have had several women.
I used to sing in choir, and I like to dance(I'm a jack-of-all trades type), but I would love to learn how to play an instrument! I would be interested to play the drums more than anything else.
"Our friend" is substitute teaching. Odds are the teachers around and even other "professionals" aren't taking him seriously as he's "only a sub," i.e., temporary. His actual income to live on is from something like retail sales, which not only is usually a different educational level and often odd hours but given current economic forecasts rather uncertain. Meanwhile, he's getting older by the day and perhaps has a parent or two with the ideas of "My son the (whatever)" as well as being personally interested in an "expected" life.
He needs a girl rather in the same boat who likes him.
I actually do have teachers who take me serious, and the high school I sub at the most often is welcoming, but I notice they won't want to form friendships out of the workplace. My parents have been with me through everything, and they completely understand I am diligently working on getting a teaching position. They've seen me over the years work overtime hours-Even in school-To reach my goals. I literally never give up with anything in my life, and that's a promise.
I'm open to dating a girl who is unemployed, making minimum wage, or wealthy. I could care less what she makes. I'm not even picky when it comes to looks, as I roughly find 80 percent of women in my age range(Let's say 20-29 years old) attractive enough to date. Even with women in their 30's, I find most of them physically attractive. Heck, I even find some 40, and 50 year old women attractive. I'm just a very horny guy with a sexual appetite which compares to the appetite of an alligator.
RedsBengalsFan - you are getting, largely, very good advice from some of the mature guys commenting here. But, it seems you want to refute it, for some reason. As if people and romantic dynamics have mostly changed in the last couple of decades. No, not so.
I have no magic answer for you (I also believe that Wilson's advice was good) but will add a few things:
1) No, it isn't all about having/making a lot of money. BUT, you need to not consider girls for whom that is an important factor. Just move along. You are shooting yourself in the foot and creating a negative feedback loop for yourself if you pursue or obsess over girls that aren't the right ones for you.
2) Be aware something. Plenty of guys either want to do all the talking OR do very little of it. It's bizarre and both types are equally annoying. Actually, I may have a bit of a magic bullet for you. Men, in general, ask very few questions about other people. They often know very little about friends they've had for years. And many don't know nearly as much as they should about their girlfriends or wives. It's true. You will shine relative to other guys if you are genuinely interested in a girl. She will feel special and valued and you will stand out in her mind.
2) I'm an Ohio River native myself but have spent over 25 in the Southeast. Let me tell you something very directly. Yes, the people of the Southeast are generally more everyday friendly. But, you must understand that it is on a very superficial level. I cannot possibly emphasize that enough. Date a Southern girl (same with guys here) and most of the time you will be left wondering what she thinks, who she is, what she wants, how she regards you or most anything. They are the most indirect people you will ever meet, were raised that way and old habits die hard so they aren't going to change. So, if good, honest, decent communication is at all important to you -- I wish you much luck in trying to get that from a girl born and raised in the SE.
3) For many great reasons, the "go teach abroad" idea is an excellent one. Take advantage of this youthful time in your life, when your responsibilities are few, and go see part of the world! It ONLY pays dividends, trust me about that.
I'm one of the nosiest people I know, and I got that trait from my mother. I always ask questions about other people because I'm so nosy. There are times this has gotten me in trouble with people, but I can't help it-I have to know! Even if it's none of my business, I have to know who, what, where, and why. I agree that most men don't want to know about other people, but I'm definitely not one of them. If anything, I want to know too much about other people.
That's interesting what you said about southerners. I'll take that into consideration.
The more I think about it, the more the teaching abroad experience sounds like a great idea. I might have to try that. However, it would also depend on which country I can go to.
RedsBengalsFan. Work is not always the best place to meet people for friendships or dating. I actually dated a woman that I worked with only once and that didn't turn out well. But at that time I was fresh out of high school and working in a Big A Auto Parts Distribution Center for New England in Hartford, CT and had only dated girls from high school. The woman I met at work was several years older and unfortunately turned out to be the extroverted type. Over bearing, domineering and aggressive and wanted complete control over the relationship. I am more old fashioned and believe the male should wear the pants in a relationship. Also, we had nothing in common. After month of that I dumped her. She didn't take it too well either. Virtually every other woman I've dated over the years is someone that I knew in high school or met via family or friends years afterward.
I have to say that in New England people typically are busy with family and friends outside of work and when I lived there at least in CT, dating among co workers while present, was not too common. Upon moving to areas of the Midwest I found it to be far more common and accepted. When I was in the KC area people I met through work could not figure out why I was not hitting on women that I met through work. A few of them finally figured it out. I will say that during my seven year stay there from 2006 to 2013 I actually met about five young ladies (college age and into their early 30's) that I liked enough to consider asking out and I know that four of them would have agreed. One was married. LOL Not going that route. I just felt it best not to ask them out since if the relationship ended up badly, it could create problems at work since I was not an employee but dealing with employees of our clients.
The best way to go is to join a club or group that interests you and then perhaps you can meet people that way. While I won't discourage you from dating someone you might meet at work, just be sure they are going to have at least a compatible personality with your own. Seriously, try that Myers and Briggs Learning Inventory. It should be free online and will help you to better understand whom you are best suited to work with or have as friend or a mate.
Are you a Millennial, or have friends who are? Because the only males in my generation who get women like "rockstars" are the high social status, and wealthy men. I have came across some middle-aged "losers", so to speak, who have had several women.
I used to sing in choir, and I like to dance(I'm a jack-of-all trades type), but I would love to learn how to play an instrument! I would be interested to play the drums more than anything else.
I'm roughly twice your age. I have nieces around your age and work with Millennials.
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