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People always try to portray that Southerners are the nicest and most welcoming of all Americans. I just want to know, in your experiences and views, is Southern Hospitality a myth or reality?
a little bit of both, myth and reality.
some people visit, say, the atlanta airport for a 4-hour layover. when they experience typical urban American life in their 4 hours in the airport, they claim "southern hospitality doesn't exist."
other people don't know what hospitality means, and they think that because someone is a back-stabbing manipulative person, that they lack "hospitality". Hospitality is, by definition, the cordiality between strangers. You can maybe extend that to cover friendly acquaintances. If you've gotten to the point where you've found that someone is "back stabbing and manipulative", then you're beyond the bounds of what is and isn't hospitality.
from my perspective, i grew up in the small town south. i know southern hospitality exists, because i can see the contrast between where i'm from, and the rest of america. You lose a lot of southern hospitality going from my town, to Columbia. You lose even more going from Columbia to Charlotte. You lose even more going from Charlotte to Atlanta, Miami, or Houston. It exists, just not equally across all families, cities, races, or classes. If you travel on interstates, visit cities and tourist areas, eat at chain restaurants, spend time in airports, then yeah you're not going to see too much "traditional southern hospitality".
went with my wife to Mobile, AL a few years back for a few days. never in my life have i been around such open, friendly people. we were just hanging out in the bars and strangers would walk up, introduce themselves, and strike up a conversation and buy us a drink. we were even invited out to breakfast the next morning.
After living in the Midwest, the South, and the Northeast I have come to the conclusion that all the regional stereotypes are generally a bunch of BS. I'm not saying there are not hospitable people in the South, there are, lots of them; just like there are lots of hospitable people in the Midwest and the Northeast. There are also a bunch of insular morons in the South, just like there are in all the other regions as well. People are people. Some are nice, some are hospitable, some are angry ol' Curmudgeons. Where they were born or where they live have nothing to do with how they act toward strangers or those they know well.
What on earth? I'm a native Southerner and have never heard of such a thing.
These personality traits certainly transcend the South. Please.
LD, I'm surprised that you're taking this the wrong way. The "Southern Sheist" thing isn't an official phrase but I use it as a way of saying that a person is deceitful (act nice to you but they can't stand you).
I was actually defending Southern hospitality (being hospitable with Southernisms thrown in) and I think we know that deceit isn't very hospitable so I'm separating the two characteristics. A lot of people don't realize that a lot of Southerners actually do say what's on their minds but they'll rather do it 1 on 1 instead of putting someones business out there in front of a group. In my post that you quoted, I already mentioned that the South lacks an iron grip on either trait. Do you see what I'm saying?
i understand where you're coming from but understand that a lot of us from elsewhere think that the above behavior is what makes a lot of ppl in/from the south, "fake."
Well if we ever met; I'll be sure to tell you to "F*** Off". I don't want to come off as being fake afterall.
It really bothers me how a simple act of kindness is translated to many as contrived. If I'm saying "Hey, how you doing?". It's not me being fake; I'm just simply showing respect. If I don't like you; I'll guarantee you will know I don't like you. I have no reason to hide my ill feelings agianst someone behind smiles and niceness.
The whole tough guy act in the north is what makes us southerners think northerners are fake. All bark, but no bite.
this thread sucks and it should go away cuz no one gets it even tho its not a hard concept to grasp
I agree with the bold. Most Southerners are taught to not be rude/be thoughtful of the other person when y'all (I'm fake because I said y'all) are meeting for the first time or if you're doing business with a person. It's funny that a lot of the Northerners, Mid-Westerners, and some Westerners can't grasp it and distinguish cordiality and disingenuousness.
^^^^Thats exactly what i mean....If you are meeting someone for the first time or just making contact with them on the street IMO you SHOULD act friendly. There is nothing fake about that, nothing wrong about that.
On the flip side if you have known someone for a while and you dont like them , IMO, why be nice and friendly if u cant stand them? Im not saying act like a prick to them but there's no need to act like u like them. Id rather just ignore them or talk about whatever problem we have.
mas23
Last edited by mas23; 10-18-2010 at 10:20 AM..
Reason: grammar
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