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Yeah PHX is way spread out. Downtown PHX definitely has improved over the last five/ten years- great nightlife there with some new foodie joints, baseball/basketball stadium, etc. Other than that, there are other gems to explore, if you're into them. Examples include college town (Tempe area), random skateparks/lakes throughout the east valley.
I can't wait to get out- been here most of my life. All it took was 5 days on a trip to NYC and I'm packing my bags to somewhere more urban. If you don't have a well-running car either, you're pretty much screwed (like me). I don't have a car but got a free metro card from a coworker for the year- mass transit is horrible. Things are picking up in the lower PHX/Tempe/West Mesa transit with the newer lightrail system, but it's years behind other cities. I suppose if you move here you have to assume everything is spread out, so what's the priority on making mass transit better.
I've considered California as well, although a mental barrier of mine is that it will be pretty much the same there (SoCal) as it is here, except with a beach.
I can get used to never setting foot in an urban city again. NJ life is urban city life...
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