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I've only been to Richmond a few times, but it has a lot of urban/hipster energy that much of CLT doesn't have. There seems to be more of a sense of place there, where CLT seems more like "anywhere USA."
I went to Charlotte for a weekend the weekend before Christmas. For reference, I used to live in Indianapolis. I was very, very impressed. Everything seemed pretty new, up to date, and the housing market is very reasonable, probably more than RVA. I was in Richmond back in the fall and it's just nowhere near as new and shiny as Charlotte. I'm also no fan of the state of VA's aggressive traffic enforcement.
I fly only a couple of times a year at most. Unless there is an absolutely massive difference in cost and you fly frequently, I wouldn't let that be a huge deciding factor.
Location: The Greatest city on Earth: City of Atlanta Proper
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For the sake of the poll, Charlotte seems like it would be the best fit for you. It's just on much better trajectory than Richmond is at the moment.
I see though that you said you were considering South Carolina and that's not a bad choice either. Greenville is super hot at the moment and much cheaper than Charlotte. It's also located in a favorable position between Atlanta and Charlotte, so that if you wanted to take advantage of things those cities have to offer you'd be just a short drive away from either.
To the OP, have you considered if looking at South Carolina the possibility of Columbia? It's very clearly trending up and while smaller than either Charlotte or Richmond offers plenty of opportunity in your respective careers. The cost of living is well below the national average, particularly with housing. The climate is about what you might expect in Charlotte but a tinge warmer in the winter with pretty much zero chance of icing. As the state capital and home to a major university (U of South Carolina) it punches well above it's size in terms of amenities and doesn't suffer the traffic/congestion issues of the other two.
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