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Old 07-18-2010, 07:03 PM
Location: Southeast, where else?
3,914 posts, read 4,011,462 times
Reputation: 5781


Wow, this should be fun...here goes...

Miami - Ft. Lauderdale: Chances are, you can find as many mal-contents in Broward as you can in Dade. The ying and yang of rear-ends. Upon arrival, you will find equally rude and uncaring as one could possibly imagine. Couple that with the overwhelming cheezy atmospshere and crossing one into the other will evoke a certain deja vu experience that is completely transparent to the senses.

Cleveland - Detroit: If South Florida is truly "God's Waiting Room" then the final decisions for 1/2 us will be equally felt in Cleveland or Detroit. Horrid comes to mind. What with the run down, rusty scenery of each, it's really hard to get excited about much. The folks still listen to Michael Stanley Band, enjoy 8-tracks and albums and continue to opine about how the "jobs at the plant" are going to come back. Almost borderline hysterical.

I used to think that the end of the world would start somewhere around E55th in Cleveland or, downtown Detroit. Having grown up in the area I can tell you a thing or two about dispair and hopelessness. And that was during "the good years".

It's the final chapter. The one that makes you believe Tom Hanks and John Cusack's B movies will come true December 21, 2012, sequels notwithstanding. If you are sentenced to either city, you can only hope it comes true. Hell has to be better.

And then, there are the winters to get through/endure....6-7 months in duration. Moscow like in nature....you can almost hear the nails scrape across the chalkboard....It's the kind of place that makes you loose your faith in God, the kind of place where you know there can only be evil and your next move will in all likelihood, be your last. You don't know the seasons, you live them. Both of them. Winter and pre-Winter. Yuck. Come March, you are looking to take hostages, shoot up your employers place, slap a kid in a parking lot for the hell of it or, beat your kids or parents, or, at the very least, park in a handicap spot and feel good about it.

It's just not right. No human being should endure this save those in Siberia because they were either banished there for bad or questionable behavior or actually chose it.

Personally, I think the US Government should just turn them both into prisons. Sentence all bad people there, let them live in one of the numerous and crappy homes and made to shovel sidewalks in December. If one, under those conditions, were to ever get out, trust me they will be cured. No more gang banging, bad thoughts or immoral deeds from that lot I assure you.

Seattle - Portland: Lots of granola going around here. Chicks that don't believe in makeup or tans. Flannel is always in as are women who wear "comfortable shoes" Still think Curt Cobain is worth debatting, go figure. Moist comes to mind. Steer clear of the KD Lang crowd. Nuff' said

Raleigh - Charlotte: Women tend to cut one another down which is quickly followed by" Bless her heart....greetings such as "how are eeeewwwwwwwww are quite common and if wasn't for the pure hypocrisy, you might even believe it. On a brighter note, the girls are pretty. They lack that certain, Northern, Mid-West "beat up look". They eat better, dress better, and lack the general deterioration one sees in women who live up North and fight the cracking of their face and spirit in Winter. Less cellulite too. They have to. Down here, they expose their skin much to our viewing delight so the battle to keep the cheese thighs down is a real pursuit which of course up North, is hardly practiced.

Memphis and St. Louis. So long as you are from there you can function. If not, don't bother. You can never, ever be accepted and in the end, it's a blessing. Besides, have you ever spent an August in either city? Makes Macon Georgia seem temperate. They have a yellow moth/bug/pre-historic creature that flies around Memphis in the Summer that will literally coat you if you ride a bike/motorcycle. Amazing. They seem to take a certain delight in giving you a hard time. A passion and throwback to the 50's and 60's. If you ain't from there, you ain't welcome.

Greenville - Chattanooga. Nice. Both are in close proximity to major markets without the hassle or culture. If you want culture in either, buy yogurt. However, the girl folk are strangely alluring, friendly and just happy if Jason, Jarred, Lee, and any other redneck boyfriend name has a job.

A STEADY job. Big plus if you do and apparently holds a lot of weight with the gals in town. Stay away from the booze. Apparently they have enough of those troubles at home already and prefer someone who is a bit more sober to begin with.

All in all I say the good ones can be had for a 3/2/2, one sport ute, a fishing boat, steady employment, and a like for most country music along with a reasonable set of manners. Happy hunting....

New Orleans - Newark: You can defecate in the street and it's OKAY....amazing. One step away from a third world nation and in retrospect, it's a good idea to keep a passport handy in either just in case you happen through their airports. Dirty comes to mind and it doesn't improve much from there.

Some might say Katrina was a disaster and to some extent that is true but, it's fair to say the 9th Ward was never "quite what it used to be" no matter how many PBS specials try to say so to the contrary. I remember when Andrew hit South Florida in 1992. Guess what, it ended up being the Marshall Plan for South Florida and from the looks of it, the downtrodden neighborhoods have never looked better.

Sure, there might be a few homeless stiffs still floating around but, I'm sure they've got them covered for the next election. They are the kind of cities that no matter what happens, nothing much changes? Newark still has the battle scars from the 1968 riots....as in 1968? They are considered "character" and historically significant...whatever that means....I think "historically significant" roughly translates to a building where something bad happened way back when but, apparently there is no money to preserve said "historically significant" structure from further decay as well as any money to bulldoze said structure and leave a soon-to-be forgotten plaque in it's place. If and when someone can figure out a way to tastefully swindal some tax dollars, it will be transitioned from "historically significant" to "historically registered and preserved".

The good news is that there are plenty of rotted, burned out structures in each to choose from. So, I say to the city Fathers, get busy and find some excuses to spend more money on the lost causes commonly known as New Orleans and Newark. If you can't I would steer the constituency to elect that guy that ran Detroit into the ground. Thanks to his sincere efforts, Detroit is now bulldozing neighborhoods to relieve the tax burden.

If that doesn't work, try the Federal Government. They seem to know a thing or two about wasting money and apparently, have an appetite for doing just that.

Hey, just trying to help...kinda guy I am....because I "care".....
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Old 07-19-2010, 06:19 AM
44 posts, read 92,223 times
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New York - Chicago
LA - San Diego
SF - Boston
Philly - DC
Detroit - Indianapolis
Houston - Atlanta
Miami - Las Vegas
Jackson - Memphis
St. Louis - Cincinatti
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Old 08-19-2012, 05:22 PM
185 posts, read 357,380 times
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Albuquerque - Tucson (both southwest)
Phoenix - ......Denver?(excluding weather)
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Old 08-19-2012, 05:50 PM
Location: Chicago(Northside)
3,719 posts, read 5,862,535 times
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LA folk do not like being compared to any city except themselves especially when comparing to southern cities anyway...

Cincinnati-pittsburg/st. louis
kansas city-minneapolis in a way
oklahoma city-tulsa
atlanta-nashville in a way
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Old 08-19-2012, 05:59 PM
2,492 posts, read 3,654,578 times
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Cincinnati and Pittsburgh

Seattle and Portland

Cheyenne and Rapid City
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Old 08-19-2012, 10:45 PM
Location: Keizer, OR
1,376 posts, read 2,407,465 times
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Originally Posted by Idontthinkthatsagoodidea View Post
I would also put Albuquerque into the mix as well as Oklahoma city, both of these also have greater populations than Portland, but are still close enough. Albuquerque similar to Portland because they both have a couple littler cities around then, like las cruces, santa fe, gresham, and beaverton, and those metropolitan areas hold 98% of the state population. DEFINITELY NOT SEATTLE AND PORTLAND. I have been to both, and they are polar opposites. Portland has worse weather, and Seattle is a big city with a big city feel, Portland is very quiet and more liberal.
While the "boring" part is subjective, Gresham and Beaverton are suburbs of Portland, whereas Salem and Eugene are probably more what you're thinking of as "litter cities". I do agree Portland and Seattle are more different than people may say, but if you check weather averages, Portland and Seattle both receive roughly the same amount of rain and the same number of rain days. Even so, Portland is warmer than Seattle in the summer, which is considered a plus by many. You also forgot both cities are known for their beer.
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Old 08-19-2012, 10:50 PM
Location: East Side
1,232 posts, read 1,506,790 times
Reputation: 346
This should be fun
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Old 08-19-2012, 10:55 PM
Location: New York City
50 posts, read 73,952 times
Reputation: 56
I look beyond regions and development patterns for similarities.

NYC-LA: Megacities, bookends of the US on opposite coasts, lateral inverses northeastern location to southwestern, two different styled cities that work similarly, capital and cocapital of American cinema, capital and cocapital of American fashion, capital and cocapital of the celebrity snazers, capital and cocapitals of tourism, imulation of one of 3 types of development in cities.

Boston-SF: Same size at metro and CSA level, Boston reaches the same population as SF when the college year starts in the city, financial powerhouses but solidly behind NYC and Chicago, Boston T and BART similarly expansive, socioeconomic similarities, political similarities, tech innovation, colleges, etc.

DC-Chicago: Similarly sized, similar on socio economic validity (income due of inflation) and crime, easily registering as some of America's great and desirables, similar transit scores, similar downtown boulevards, similar commuter set up to the burbs, both easily poised to become megacities soon but will never catch the higher tier, similar downtown office spaces, similar frat and college culture, etc

Dallas-Houston-Miami-Atlanta: Nuff said. One the rise and none will ever look back at it. All poised to cement themselves as some of America's greatests and all will do the country proud as they peacefully emerge. Dallas and Houston will easily take in and become mega sized, Miami and Atlanta will have difficulty but their not done yet. That's when it will become Dallas-Houston the power duo and Miami-Atlanta the fame duo but for now all 4 are in the same group.

These are the American top 10's of the future world. No doubt about it.

Some may even suggest Boston-SF-Seattle triplete power but Seattle is a baby compared to the others. Maybe in 30-40-50 years but the bones for a trio are there.

Last edited by Notramick; 08-19-2012 at 11:13 PM..
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Old 08-19-2012, 11:10 PM
Location: New York City
50 posts, read 73,952 times
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Actually Chicago-Washington-Toronto could be a trio soon. The footprint for it is already there.
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:29 PM
1,064 posts, read 1,509,105 times
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New Orleans=Galveston
Austin=San Fransico in a small way
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