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Old 12-14-2010, 07:49 PM
 
9 posts, read 26,053 times
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My partner and I (71 years together) are considering an attractive business opportunity in New Bern but are a bit concerned as to how accepting the business and residential communities will be otwards a gay male couple. We are not flamboyant, just average guys who do not flaunt their sexuality but who also do not hide the fact that we are a couple. We do as straight couples do, dine out, attend movies, concerts, social and charitable events and the like. We have always been well respected and accepted where ever we have lived and want to be active participants in any new community. We would appreciate any insight into this concern. Thanks.
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Old 12-14-2010, 08:12 PM
 
3,071 posts, read 7,554,684 times
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Local celebrities, Skip Waters (local weatherman) is gay, for what it's worth.
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Old 12-14-2010, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
10,319 posts, read 18,626,660 times
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71 years together? Wow- How old are you? Congratulations!

Most of NC is gay-tolerant as a rule, but I don't know so much about New Bern. (Every small Southern town even in the older days had its "confirmed bachelors" who were beloved by the townsfolks, even if they were whispered about, but that was decades ago. The mindset is more modern now except among hard-core churchy types.). What sort of business are you thinking of? I am a gay lifelong North Carolinian. Is this a certain business in New Bern you're thinking of buying?
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Old 12-15-2010, 02:46 AM
LLN
 
Location: Upstairs closet
4,909 posts, read 8,337,897 times
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We bought our home in New Bern from a couple of lesbians. All we heard about them after moving in was positive stuff from the neighbors, they were integral to our community. Right now there are two gay couples, that I know of, in the neighborhood, both are active in community and welcome at and pretty much attend, ALL community functions. Regular fixtures and I have never detected any issue at all with their sexuality...it is just not an issue. For people who you should care about, there will be no problem.

lln

Quote:
Originally Posted by Francois View Post
The mindset is more modern now except among hard-core churchy types.).
An extremely offensive remark.

I will point out, since you don't "get it" that this remark is just as offensive to some as a derogatory, broad sweeping remark about those of your sexual orientation.

Just as you would lecture one about a broad, derogatory comment about gay people, you have made a broad remark about those that go to church. While some churches are in fact anti-gay, others are extremely pro-gay, sometimes to a fault (misplaced priorities). You need a lecture.

Really surprised to see this in print, in the 21st century.

lln

Last edited by SunnyKayak; 12-18-2010 at 02:15 PM.. Reason: to be on topic
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Old 12-15-2010, 07:08 AM
 
3,071 posts, read 7,554,684 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macjr82 View Post
Local celebrities, Skip Waters (local weatherman) is gay, for what it's worth.

no idea why I made that plural. I think I originally typed "one of our local celebrities"
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Old 12-15-2010, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Eastern NC
18,019 posts, read 16,572,013 times
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71 years together? So that means you two are in your late 80's to 90's? I am sure there would be no problem other than older folks who may be set in their ways.
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Old 12-15-2010, 03:51 PM
 
9 posts, read 26,053 times
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Thanks to everyone for your gracious replies..if there is one issue I have to address, it is my dreadful typing and failure to reread what I have written before sending...meant 17 years, not 71. I am so used to employing Spellcheck that I forget that it does not catch my clear dyslexia problmes with juxtaposition of letters and numbers. I am pleased to hear that some gay couples have integrated themselves into active members of the community as that would also be our intent. The busines we are looking into is hospitality, specifically one of the lovely B&Bs in town. Our best to all of you who responded. Thanks again
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Old 12-16-2010, 07:46 AM
 
3,271 posts, read 2,509,776 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LLN View Post
An extremely offensive remark.

I will point out, since you don't "get it" that this remark is just as offensive to some as a derogatory, broad sweeping remark about those of your sexual orientation.

Just as you would lecture one about a broad, derogatory comment about gay people, you have made a broad remark about those that go to church. While some churches are in fact anti-gay, others are extremely pro-gay, sometimes to a fault (misplaced priorities). You need a lecture.

Really surprised to see this in print, in the 21st century.

lln
Using a catch-all term to describe a subset of religious people who choose to be obnoxious about their choice isn't in the same ballpark as a slur based on sexual orientation. What makes things like sexual and ethnic slurs so offensive is they're defamatory terms used by members of a majority group within a population to denigrate someone for something that they didn't choose and is inherent to who they are as a person, as a way to exert their position of privilege and power over the minority. You choose to be religious and worship as you wish; nobody is born inherently Methodist or inherently Baha'i. You can make those things a part of who you are, but at the end of the day you have the ability to remove that aspect from your life. Not so with sexual orientation, skin color, or physical or mental ability.

Attempting to equate religious belief with those things is far more offensive, and a cheap ploy to enforce religious dominonism in public discourse. You've never been in physical danger nor has your quality of life been in any way diminished in America because you're a Christian, so please spare us the faux-outrage.


Anyway, OP, nobody here worth worrying about with will give you any grief one way or the other about you and your partner. Coastal NC, like most of the coastal areas of the South is actually fairly gay-friendly for the most part. The Outer Banks in particular has had a sizable gay and lesbian population for a very long time, in part owing to the community around the Lost Colony outdoor drama, and the area's popularity among retirees who come for the relaxed atmosphere.
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Old 12-16-2010, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
10,319 posts, read 18,626,660 times
Reputation: 11049
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLN View Post
An extremely offensive remark.

I will point out, since you don't "get it" that this remark is just as offensive to some as a derogatory, broad sweeping remark about those of your sexual orientation.

Just as you would lecture one about a broad, derogatory comment about gay people, you have made a broad remark about those that go to church. While some churches are in fact anti-gay, others are extremely pro-gay, sometimes to a fault (misplaced priorities). You need a lecture.
No, I said "hard-core churchy" which is not the same thing as "people who go to church" or even "people who are very involved in church". I know all too well about the many open-minded churches in the area and am continually pointing them out to those who claim that NC is anti-gay simply because there are a lot of churches. I actually make the same argument you are making with me, to others. I am always pointing out Pullen Memorial Baptist and Binkley Baptist, both of which were thrown out of the Southern Baptist convention due to holding same-sex commitment ceremonies. I frequently attend UUFR and ERUUF (though some don't consider Unitarian Fellowships to be "churches"). I have had positive experiences with most of the churches here in the Triangle area and point that out to people all the time. I am active in the Gay Men's Chorus and can site the churches that are always friendly and welcoming to us as venues, in addition to those above: First Presbyterian in Durham, University United Methodist in Chapel Hill, Community Church of Chapel Hill and others. Not even counting the Metropolitan Community Church whose primary congregation are gay/lesbian.

None of which is inconsistent with using the term hard-core churchy to define those who want to use their self-righteous religion to tell people who don't go to their church what they can do. If I actually thought the way you accuse me of thinking, I would have simply said "religious people" and not qualified it with "hard-core". Do you understand the meaning of "hard-core" something? I'm not even all that fond of "hard-core" gay people who seem to live and breathe their orientation and bring it to every conversation whether it related to gay people or not (just as "hard-core churchy" people will drop God or Jesus's name into a conversation having nothing to do with God or Jesus)--but I know that "hard-core" specifically means the fringe element of any group, including "hard-core churchy".

I suggest you learn the difference, semantically, between "regular [group]" and "hard-core" [group], and then examine why you were so quick to jump to a level of being "highly offended" instead of reading for comprehension.
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Old 12-17-2010, 06:17 AM
 
9 posts, read 26,053 times
Reputation: 28
Hey LLN and Box of Zip Disks....if we are all for people getting along regardless of sexuality, race, religion, etc, then let's just celebrate the apparent diversity that exists in New Bern and avoid moral outrage. We are all different and we all have deficiencies and assets so build a community based on the pluses and toss the minuses under the rug. Thanks for your opinions as to your town/city and be well and enjoy the holidays and the new year.
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