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Old 02-14-2011, 10:14 AM
 
Location: PA
563 posts, read 801,226 times
Reputation: 229

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Here's how to keep all that political 'news' in perspective...

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

8. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

9. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch is read by people who want only the score of the Cardinals game. They drink Budweiser, Budweiser, and -- wait a minute -- what was the question?

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Wilmington Morning Star is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

I am not the author of the list, just found it hilarious. Where's the old "Star News" anyway? Ha!
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Old 02-14-2011, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Morehead City, NC
1,676 posts, read 5,359,443 times
Reputation: 1245
12. The Wilmington Morning Star is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
The Carteret News Times has forever been called. "The Mullet Wrapper".
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Old 02-14-2011, 12:43 PM
 
3,271 posts, read 2,640,389 times
Reputation: 1440
Whoever the shadowy cabal at the source of all chain emails is should update that list to say none of the above since nobody reads newspapers any more.
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Old 02-15-2011, 12:17 PM
 
77 posts, read 130,688 times
Reputation: 35
It's funny, but there is an international edition of the Miami Herald that you can pick up for sale from street vendors or at your hotel's front desk on many Caribbean islands.
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Old 02-15-2011, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Greenville, NC
2,078 posts, read 5,044,801 times
Reputation: 1160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Hitchcock View Post
12. The Wilmington Morning Star is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
The Carteret News Times has forever been called. "The Mullet Wrapper".
In Annapolis, MD the local paper, The Capital, was often called The Crab Wrapper.
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