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I do need to be very careful about the 'grass is greener' syndrome. This is a very sudden decision, for complicated reasons I only found out last Friday that I need to move at least 150 miles from NY. Why am I choosing Hampstead?
I pretty much have thrown a dart at the Eastern seaboard. And now I'm trying to figure out if that dart is going to work, lol. I actually considered the Cherokee rez but decided it was too remote and not a good choice for the daughters' future.
I only found this out last Friday about the distance of the required move and am devastated because, although I was tentatively planning on moving just to get my daughter into a better living situation and school, i was NOT planning on going so far. An hour or two upstate was all I had in mind, lol.
Moving closer to family is not a choice i would be happy with because they are all in the midwest, OH and MN. I am used to the coast now, I don't think I would want to be landlocked again. And it took most of my teen years and early 20s to work my way out of there to NYC, (i was a young and energetic artist then, lol). Going back to the midwest, I would almost feel like i was placing my daughter right back where I struggled to get out of. AND - I want to be able to come back to see close friends in NYC occasionally.
So,
my complaints here in Yonkers are:
i am currently so aggravated by the aggression of the population here i just want to stay indoors. seriously. i am in Yonkers, just north of the Bronx. I'm no longer really close enough or able enough to enjoy all that NYC has to offer. It's like I'm living in ANY suburb but the rent is higher and conditions uglier. Due to disability i am no longer working in NYC so there really is no excuse for us to be here. The rent on the fixed income (SS at the age of 45 ) is harsh and gets us very little. I share a one bedroom attic apartment with my 8 yr old daughter, it's ridiculous. And the school system she is in is taking a rapid plunge straight to hell. AND our tight litle Irish community is unraveling.
we rarely go to the city (NYC) for cultural events because it's painful for me physically and aggravating to get there. that said, i probably need to be VERY careful about tossing that away, as she has grown up with the occasional Broadway play, access to a multitude of museums and cultures. And maybe i will feel that empty vacuum feeling after about 6 months of somewhere else. That trapped, everything-is-so-uncool-and-uninteresting feeling that I get when i stay in rural Ohio too long. There is a certain comfort in knowing that the culture is AVAILABLE, even if we don't make use of it much.
And, honestly, the city is a very different place since 9-11 and for me, i think it will never be the same. It's much more corporate, less mom-and-pop stores, (you can kiss the secondhand bookstores and garage bands goodbye), more security oriented, less artists/musicians (no one can afford it anymore and all have hauled ass to Brooklyn or farther).
I think I am just worn down and feeling very bad for the child. I grew up in the country and i just would like to have a little garden and a swing for her. And be able to read a book while she plays without feeling like she's going to get runover, witness a violent crime, or any number of stupid disturbing things that go on here in Yonkers regularly. Things you don't notice when you're an urban professional on their way to work or out for the night but when you're a tired Mom really get your nerves frayed. I would like to have the window open at night without hearing rap music and fighting.
And, although this has been a tight little Irish community for many years, it is slowly changing. AND - I stopped drinking about ten years ago. Try living in a pub culture and not drinking for a decade - completely redundant! ;D The Irish community is slowly moving further north AGAIN, but this time it's more expensive and farther from the city - why bother? I have more Irish friends than I do American friends, a little unusual and it's the Irish community probably that i will miss most.
There's a big long list of what i want to leave behind - the question is where to? Hampstead caught my eye because it has highly rated schools, good parent reviews from the schools, is not TOO close to the military (i think?), and has a beach. And from what I can tell we can rent a 2 bdrm for less than $1000 a month, which is a Godsend for us. Then again, the AC bills might be a killer.
I was hoping Wilmington would be my cultural backup but...I might be mistaken on that. My friends are really warning me against this right now, that I'll be too far and alone and trapped and unhappy due to nothing happening. So, I'm trying to weigh it up and be realistic.
Lastly - both my daughter and I like cooler weather better but the more cold, the more pain i have. We will definitely miss the first fresh snowfall. But....hoping the fresh air from being near the ocean will balance the heat a bit. Maybe I underestimate the heat.
We do have a test run planned to check it out. When the school year ends, (roughly end of June) my friend Sinead, me and our accumulative three kids are driving down for a few days to check it out. That crazy woman will go anywhere just to see what goes on in this country, lol! I'm so lucky to have a friend to go down with me.
-No Whole Foods! The closest is in Raleigh. That's always been crazy to me! (that's not a big reason obviously but it's still vaguely frustrating haha!).
First off- I'm glad to hear that Wilm FINALLY got a Whole Foods. I hadn't noticed that. It's still too late for me though as I'm definitely moving this year Aside from that though...
If Hampstead isn't mandatory, if my husband was not military and I was moving out this way for the first time, I would personally consider the areas South of Wilmington, or even as far as Myrtle Beach and surrounds. I'm not sure what their school districts are like however. To me at least, the areas have always been far more attractive (maybe not Myrtle Beach itself, but some of the surrounding areas). Oftentimes, some of these areas are even more affordable than Hampstead, which has somewhat fallen prey to the "military is nearby let's jack up the prices".
I can understand your desire to live near the coast though, when I originally moved from Australia to the Midwest I was overly concerned that I'd miss the beach, and was looking forward to being near it again when I moved to NC. For me though, I didn't personally go to the beach enough to warrant staying on the coast. Some people need to be by the coast though, and I totally respect that!
As for A/C Electric costs, it really depends on your lifestyle, house, and heat threshold. I have *zero* tolerance for heat (so rare for an Australian!), so pretty much run the A/C 24-7 on days of 85 and above, which is a large chunk of Summer. On the flip side, I rarely run the heat during winter. My husband and I rent a 2 bedroom, 2 bath house for $650 here in Jacksonville (which is a bargain, but it's an older, not-well-maintained house... we were willing to take it due to it's location and the fact that the cheap rent would allow us to save up to buy a house of our own). I rarely run the Heat during winter so Winter electric is usually about $60-$70 but Summer has been as high as $300 a month if I've run the A/C a lot. The windows are old though so I'm guesstimating that some air may be escaping.
I can definitely understand your desire not to want to go back to where you came from. I will never, ever return to live in Australia. I enjoy being 25 hour flight away from where I was raised!
As for your ambition to move to better your life for you and your daughter- as I said before I definitely think it's commendable.
When you and your friend Sinead come to the area, be sure to look at suburbs of Wilmington itself in addition to the surrounding areas to the South, and like I said, even as far down as Myrtle Beach to give yourself a few more options.
Again, best of luck! I know that you must be feeling stressed/panicked about the inevitable move right now, but you sound like an extremely intelligent, artistic woman with your head on your shoulders so I know that you and your daughter will thrive wherever you go
Yes, goldenage, i did just skip RIGHT over a couple states going South and my reasons are probably not entirely rational. I will give Delaware another look. Starting with the schools. I put a heavy priority on education.
coffeebean - Good to know there is a Whole Foods - I'm trying to sidestep all the hormones in the meat for my daughters sake (did you know these young girls are now developing YEARS earlier? another topic, definitely). I do miss the fresh produce and farms and butchers from my rural upbringing.
glam - i think Myrtle Beach might be too far south and possibly too pricey for us. My hope is that we can relocate to an area that might be attractive to close friends here, that they might bring their family down for a holiday with us. That we might be able to drive up here for a week or so in summer. It even crossed my mind that some of the families we know here might want to swap places with us for a couple weeks each summer, allowing them to get out of the city with the kids and allowing us to have a place to stay in NY and visit our people. This move is going to be very hard on my daughter - our friends here are really more like family and all she has known.
but - the rent - BRILLIANT! i would be completely thrilled in a $650@month run down old cabin or cottage somewhere if that still exists. A cheap, needs-a-lot-of-paint and TLC spot where i can have a garden and she can play. An old screen porch would do me just fine. And i could certainly spend the extra money on ballet or fiddle/violin lessons for her.
Is there good medical in the area? I go to physical therapy 2-3x a week.
How long does it actually take to get from Hampstead to WIlmington?
Is there a season that feels busy and touristy and intruded-upon, which then ends and everyone goes home to leave the town in peace? I might be able to live with that.
Thanks again all, this is hugely helpful and i can't imagine trying to make an uneducated guess with friends from here without being able to talk to people that live there.
Is there good medical in the area? I go to physical therapy 2-3x a week.
How long does it actually take to get from Hampstead to WIlmington?
Is there a season that feels busy and touristy and intruded-upon,
Answers:
1.Yes, excellent medical care. I have to go to Hampstead for every major test or specialty. The New Hanover Regional in Wilmington is an excellent hospital.
2. Hampstead and Wilmington are adjacent. So, 5 to 15 minutes depending on where you go.
3. Tourist season starts today. The stores get full of people buying beer and hamburgers. In beach towns, the change-over day is Saturday, so traffic is busy along the two-lane highways. The winter is much quieter, and nicer, IMO.
BTW, the Atomic Wave Tattoo shop was open today in Surf City, after it's been closed most of the winter. I looked for a "help wanted" sign, but didn't see one.
coffeebean - Good to know there is a Whole Foods - I'm trying to sidestep all the hormones in the meat for my daughters sake (did you know these young girls are now developing YEARS earlier? another topic, definitely). I do miss the fresh produce and farms and butchers from my rural upbringing.
They are also building Trader Joe's and there's The Fresh Market. I like TFM a lot. The prices are high, but I've gotten some good quality stuff there.
They are also building Trader Joe's and there's The Fresh Market. I like TFM a lot. The prices are high, but I've gotten some good quality stuff there.
1.Yes, excellent medical care. I have to go to Hampstead for every major test or specialty. The New Hanover Regional in Wilmington is an excellent hospital.
2. Hampstead and Wilmington are adjacent. So, 5 to 15 minutes depending on where you go.
3. Tourist season starts today. The stores get full of people buying beer and hamburgers. In beach towns, the change-over day is Saturday, so traffic is busy along the two-lane highways. The winter is much quieter, and nicer, IMO.
BTW, the Atomic Wave Tattoo shop was open today in Surf City, after it's been closed most of the winter. I looked for a "help wanted" sign, but didn't see one.
I wouldn't necessarily think of Hampstead and Wilmington as "adjacent"....and it depends on where in Hampstead you live as to how long it takes to get anywhere in Wilmington....
Mayfaire Shopping Center was a full 25 minute ride from our home in the north end of Hampstead....it took 45 minutes to get to the downtown or hospital and major medical areas.
We did not find that there was "excellent medical care" available in Hampstead...I would think you could call it "adequate".
The island does get a little crowded in tourist season, but I never found in the 10 years we lived there that it was overwhelming in the Hampstead area.
I have posted a lot about life in Hampstead and you could find that if you run a search in this forum.....it is a lovely place, although not for everyone....be sure to visit and see the area before making any decisions about where to live in that area. And best wishes for the upcoming move - hope you find the perfect spot!
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) is harsh and gets us very little. I share a one bedroom attic apartment with my 8 yr old daughter, it's ridiculous. And the school system she is in is taking a rapid plunge straight to hell. AND our tight litle Irish community is unraveling.
Aside from that though...
