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wilmington has grown quite a bit. traffic is bad, but not as bad as charlotte. crime is bad as well. the town did not plan for the influx of new residents. as far as a small town on the coast, hmmmmmmm, you are going to be hard pressed to find one. it seems that all of new york and new jersey has moved to the coast in NC. places like moorehead city are even becoming a nightmare to get around in. your best bet is to look at a town near the coast, but inland a bit. perhaps a place on the river. check out new bern. it is a smaller town, although it is growing. it might be large enough to have jobs though.
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