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Old 07-01-2017, 11:04 PM
 
1 posts, read 587 times
Reputation: 10

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Hi There,
I was wondering if anyone had any information about an accident that happened in Wilmington on Kerr Ave in the year either 1987 or 1988. My boyfriends ex girlfriend was killed in this accident, and he has only mentioned it to me once; he is still very shook up from it. He's extremely protective about my personal safety and doesn't like it when I drive anywhere or don't tell him when I arrive somewhere. This causes fights between us sometimes and I try to understand, but I'd like to understand him better. He was not in the vehicle, but I believe there was another occupant. His ex girlfriend was driving and intoxicated. We never talk about it except for "the accident" whenever a fight breaks out, So I don't know any details. If anyone has any information, thank you.

Last edited by Gpatterson2017; 07-01-2017 at 11:31 PM..
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Old 07-02-2017, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Eastern NC
19,518 posts, read 17,769,056 times
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Hmm, not to inflame but I would be cautious due to you saying " he doesn't like it when I drive somewhere or don't tell him when I arrived". It has been 30 years since the supposed accident. Sounds to be like he is very controlling and is using this supposed accident to try to control you. The fact that this leads to fights tells me that you need to move on and find someone who doesn't mind that you drive.
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Old 07-02-2017, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
11,419 posts, read 20,279,418 times
Reputation: 16495
I agree that he sounds very controlling..... run.
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Old 07-02-2017, 08:30 PM
 
1,021 posts, read 1,003,643 times
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I normally try to send a text or call to my family & girlfriend if I'm taking a long trip somewhere. I dont see any harm in doing that for the people you care about, or to want people you care about to do that for you when they go on a long trip. It can put their minds at ease. it's always good to know that someone that is taking a long trip somewhere gets to their destination safely. However, if he's demanding that you text or call him every time you drive, even if you're just going across town to pick up some milk, that may be an issue. If his main reasoning is this 30 year old accident, he may not have properly processed their death and has developed some sort of control issue because of it. Is he normally controlling, or just with texting after driving?


Interestingly enough, city-data does keep records like this. There aren't exact names, but there were fatal accidents on Kerr Ave in 1988 and 1987, so it's not like he would be making this up in an attempt to control you in that sense.

http://www.city-data.com/accidents/a...-Carolina.html

There appears to have been a drunk driving accident on 12/24/88 and one on 12/22/87 both on Kerr Ave. I don't know your relationship, but why not simply refuse to call or text him until he tells you exactly what happened? If he can't, it may be time to move on. He may need professional help to deal with this issue that's obviously affected him so much.
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Old 07-03-2017, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Greenville, NC
1,069 posts, read 984,724 times
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I did not know that city-data had info that granular, that's amazing.

Since you have a date, visit the library downtown and see if they have the newspaper archives on microfilm. I imagine there would be an article about something like that, especially back then (Wilmington was a much smaller place).

As for the situation itself... it sounds to me like he has some serious unresolved grief issues relating to this death. There may be other underlying issues that make the grief that much worse. If you truly love this man, urge him to seek help.
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Old 07-04-2017, 08:43 AM
 
Location: In the land beyond Ohare!
914 posts, read 467,735 times
Reputation: 1995
Just go to the police dept. and request the report. You will need to file a freedom of information request.
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