Crunchy granola folks in Elizabeth City? (Rocky Mount: fit in, to rent, homes)

[queenjulie]

My husband just got a job in Elizabeth City and we're relocating on March 21st. We have a baby and a toddler. We're atheists who are very crunchy granola, coming from Hawaii. Are we going to fit in there? Are there any parents/moms groups for folks like us (especially attachment parenting)? Is there much to do in EC?

[gigimac]

Well, if you've ever seen the movie "To Kill a Mockingbird" with Gregory Peck in it, that's ECity. There's a church on every corner, very traditional southern SMALL town, conservative dressing style, no swearing, no spitting, laid back place and hot in the summertime.

That being said, there are some college students who are more open about stuff, so if you'll take some classes, you will make the type of friends who will like you. There's also a wine tasting spot on the corner of Water and Main that you could find more friends who are more liberal. Some younger folk are with the Coast Guard Station, too, so try to go to some of their events on the base.

Life is what you make it, so take up gardening, invite people over for a special dinner, set up a playroom for your children and teach them art and reading. And don't force your ways on others or reject people on account of their ways. Just go easy and slow, find things to do with people who share your interests... I mean, it's right on a great big river and just an hour from the beach, so plan to spend time doing stuff related to that, especially since you're used to Hawaii. People in ECity go to the beach practically every weekend, some own family cottages there.

Specifically, I can tell you this about your religion. If someone invites you to come to their church or if someone asks you what church you're going to, which this WILL happen often, you do not need to say, "Oh, we're atheists, we don't believe in all that stuff." Instead, you can say, "Thank you for asking, but we're just not church-goers," and then change the subject.

You will experience culture shock, but in the reverse, folks in ECity are very friendly, lovely Southern drawl, lots of families live there, and I'm sure it will just be a matter of time before you get to know folks and find things to do that you like, and life will go on. Think of it as a special experience, because there are plenty of older folks who have done everything in life, and all they want is to retire in a peaceful small town like you're headed to. And if you want "big time" action, well, leave your kids with a babysitter and go on up to Virginia Beach for a weekend now and then.

[Ann in Oriental]

What a nice person is the other poster called gigimac, and I do hope that will be your experience, but it sure wasn't mine when I first moved to eastern NC. I am a new age, liberal and when we moved to Rocky Mount in the 80's we were nearly run out of town. The neighbors wouldnt let their kids play with ours and NO ONE was nice until a lady moved in from Florida and I finally had a friend after 6 years! This wasn't just minor stuff, one woman ran over my son's bicycle, no one would invite the kids to birthday parties, etc... It was REALLY bad. Now of course E.City is not Rocky Mount, but very similar. My advice is to find another town. Your husband has to work there, but you don't HAVE to live there. I'm not sure how far away the northern outer banks would be, or maybe Virginia Beach which has a lot of new age/hippie types. If another town is not do-able then just be prepared. Gigimac was quite right to tell you not to advertise the fact that you are athiests. That would be "certain death". Look for theater groups, art groups, maybe a montessouri school, ( they don't have Walden schools here) maybe there are some yoga classes and if you are really lucky you might find a friend or two. I'm sorry to paint such a bleak picture, but that's just how it is. I do disagree with the other poster who said the people were very friendly...they are only friendly if you never let them know who you really are, and that's no way to live your life.

[1Sunshine1]

You will not like it there.

[goi_cuon]

I don't know. I think that if you don't go around announcing that you are an atheist or being obnoxious about the religious beliefs of others you'll be fine. There is no law that says you need to share your beliefs of lack thereof.

If someone invites you to church or asks about your beliefs, just employ the "artful dodge." You are allowed to be as vague as you want. If pressed, you can tell them "I'm sorry but this is a very personal subject for me; I don't feel comfortable sharing."

[michiganmom48]

We live like 10 mins away from Elizabeth City. We live in Camden moved from Michigan last Summer. Elisabeth City is soo boring. If you like to shop you will need to go to Virginia to see a Target. There are many churches and we are Lutheran so that was hard to just find a Lutheran in town. We have 4 kds still at home 16,6,6 and 2. My 6 year olds are homeschooled. People for the most part are friendly. Kids don't play outside much not like Michigan. My 6 year olds have each other but they are out all the time and kids never come over to play. People move slow which does drive me nuts and the way you might phrase things they don't. I went to order a hamburger once and it took several mins to get the order right because I said I wanted a light amount of something and the person didn't know what I was saying. Then she said Oh you want that easy. Okay whatever by that point I was about to beat my head against a brick wall. WE have three adopted kids and one is African American we are white. People stare at us all the time and even my daughter notices it and asked why people stare at us. I said because she was soo cute. We come from a town in MIchigan that had like 6 black people in it and they never stared. It does get on my nerves. I think Virginia is more of a melting pot for people than NOrth Carolina my husband works in Virginia. The Ocean is great but it isn't something we want to do all the time. There are certain parts of Elisabeth City that I heard was not great to live in. Lots of people like Camden which I think is over priced to rent. I don't have any friends here either. Neighbors are friendly but like I said you never see people outside. At least I don't.

[goi_cuon]

Originally Posted by michiganmom48

WE have three adopted kids and one is African American we are white. People stare at us all the time and even my daughter notices it and asked why people stare at us. I said because she was soo cute. We come from a town in MIchigan that had like 6 black people in it and they never stared.

about why they are staring at her. They are staring at her because their mama failed to teach them good manners.

Having lived in Portsmouth VA, I don't think that it is better there. Professional people, moderately educated, who you would think of as friendly, normal and decent were willing to use the N word in open conversation around the dinner table (assuming all dinner participants were white). I was appalled.

[michiganmom48]

The people staring aren't children they are adults usually women. I get there are still people who think people should marry in their own race or parent children only of their own race. I don't belive that is true. I 'm just surprised and sometimes it gets on my nerves. I don't like it when my daughter even notices it.

[goi_cuon]

Originally Posted by michiganmom48

The people staring aren't children they are adults usually women. I get there are still people who think people should marry in their own race or parent children only of their own race. I don't belive that is true. I 'm just surprised and sometimes it gets on my nerves. I don't like it when my daughter even notices it.

So they are adults whose mama never taught them manners.

Your daughter is going to notice. Of course it gets on your nerves - you love & want tot protect your child. But some people are just rude. I think that's what I'd tell her: "Some people are rude. They know that their behavior is bad but they do it anyway."

[RedRockAAAA]

I grew up in Elizabeth City. Then I worked and travelled. Heck, my own family is like some posters are expressing.

Move there for 1 year, then leave. The rest of your life will be richer having seen 'the dark side'.

During your year there ... express no thoughts ... just observe. Anything other than hi or hey is too progressive for the citizenry.