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Old 08-15-2009, 05:32 PM
6,196 posts, read 14,282,688 times
Reputation: 4485


Excellent advice below. You are not the same person at 16, 19, 21, 26, 28, 30, 35, etc., etc. You will not want the same thing or often even the same person.

It takes a REAL long time to figure out who YOU are. Before you become connected with another person, you need to figure out what really makes you happy (sex makes everyone happy, so take that off your list).

You need to find out what you can do to make a living and that you can continue to do -- in other words, what makes you happy.

Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out what you "want to be when you grow up." There is no shame in taking your time.

And even if you are just living together and not married, you are essentially married. Your finances are co-mingled, you are dependent on each other, and you may get pregnant. At sixteen, there's little you can even do without him. You can't even sign a contract for an apartment by yourself.

There's not a lot of difference at this point whether or not you've been in front of a minister or justice of the peace.

So before you take that huuuuuge step out of your parents' home, think long and hard about how you want the rest of your life to look like. I've lived half a century, and of all the people I've known, I've known just ONE couple that stayed together for the long haul who married when they were sixteen -- and that was a long time ago. It was a rare and very unusual instance.

The absolute worst reason in the world to get married is to escape from your parents.

life changes you and what you want from life
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Old 08-16-2009, 05:29 PM
Location: NC, USA
7,088 posts, read 13,091,009 times
Reputation: 3986
Hummmmm, I believe the old saying goes...."Marry in haste and repent at your leisure" When I was young I made my share of mistakes that certainly seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Old 08-16-2009, 06:51 PM
Location: Tappahannock VA
144 posts, read 610,767 times
Reputation: 61
There are reasons why emancipation is the only out. There are reasons why 17 year olds cannot make that decision according to the law. Because it is usually better for you to wait and if by chance your family does not approve maybe they've got a point. You will feel much different in the way that you look at things just in the next two years after graduation. A long engagement will help you to make sure that the marriage thing is right for you. Ultimately you will do what you want to do. Everyone is trying to encourage you by the wisdom of their own experiences. Take it slow. Especially in this economy you need to be wise in your decisions. With finances what they are and jobs what they are you will want to choose wisely or be ready to suffer the consequences. Finances really put the pressure on a relationship and a hasty marriage at a young age in this day is a recipe for a really nasty divorce. The only thing worse than a bad marriage is a nasty divorce.

I have seen some teens get married and make it (me being one of them) but you would be doing yourself a big favor if you took your time and got a good education so you can get a good job.

If he loves you he'll wait until you're older and ready to make that kind of a commitment. If he doesn't then he's not worth your time.
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