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If a parent is paying for the college education they should have an opinion on what is appropiate considering todays needs and those of four yrs from now.
I hope to be in this situation (well I hope to be able to have quite a bit saved for my daughter to go to college). I want her to go to school for something she really enjoys and could be happy with.. But I don't want to waste my hard earned $$ and her time on something that sounds fun and exciting but won't offer her anything in the real world after college.. I would NEVER EVER tell my daughter what to do but I want her to be realistic about her college education.
I am going to strongly reccomend my daughter take a year off after HS to really do some soul searching as well as enjoying life.. Give her time to see what she really wants in her life.
As a young teen my father taught me how to make pros/cons lists, how to research and compare statistics.
Since HS I have never made a big desicion in my life without 1st doing a pros/cons list for each choice as well as a chart of data I have gathered about each choice.
The parent has the final say in selecting a major for a child simply because he is bankrolling the education. If the parent is firm in making the decision for his child, there's no way the child can stop it.
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I disagree wholeheartedly. I advised biology students for over 8 years (Pharmacology, Microbiology, Biochemistry-Molecular Biology, Cell & Developmental Biology, and straight Biology) at a very good university so I dealt with students whose parents chose their major. Many of these students had zero aptitude for the major and were consequently kicked out of the major for failure to get a 2.0. Many of them told the same story. Their parents would not pay for their education if it wasn't in this field. My response was it was their future they are dealing with and either pay for it themselves and if that wasn't possible, change their major without telling their parents (who by the way, have no right to their kids educational records since they are adults), or bring their parents in and I would talk to the parents with them. The parents couldn't argue with the fact that their child couldn't pass even the prereq's that freshman take.
If you look at it this way, the parent already had their chance to choose their own way in life and they ought to let the child pick what they are good at and enjoy. Of course, when you aren't paying for it yourself you do lose some control.
It's one thing to offer suggestions (and most students would welcome input and discussion, I would think) -- quite another to make demands. Yeah, I suppose that technically a parent can say "do this or I won't pay," but I think that would be a terrible thing to do to someone. In that case I'd hope the student would play equally hardball and get the basics out of the way on the parents' dime, then fund their own way to finish it off.
Then again, I think the current system -- one that assumes that parents can and should pay for their adult children's higher education -- is flawed. College students are adults, and should be treated as such.
The parent has the final say in selecting a major for a child simply because he is bankrolling the education. If the parent is firm in making the decision for his child, there's no way the child can stop it.
For clarity, let me say this. SURELY YOU JEST!?!
Clearly you don't have a college dependent.
Clearly you don't have a college age dependent in college.
First of all, most college aged dependents will have to take a slew of required courses their first two years so you can be two years into your collective debt before a majore becomes apparent. Second there is the, Pops, I wanted to take accounting but the course was closed out so I had to take underwater basket weaving, but don't worry I needed an elective outside of my major. Third, let's say that they don't declare a major until their junior year because the school requires that the college aged dependent agrees in writing to release their grades to you, they could be halfway to their senior year before you would have a clue what their major is. By that time you are five semesters into debt and I doubt if you are going to change course with just three to go, just to think that you are having your way. And last but not least, just because you spend $60,000 to a King's Ransom for your Johnny or Jill to graduate with a degree is hedge fund management doesn't mean that they WON'T take their degree and move to an ashram.
Unless you are the control freak to freak all control freaks, you KNOW that you have lost all parental control the second they stepped foot in a freshman orientation. Any parental control from that point of is nothing more than a delusion.
I heard a parent once say that since he was paying the bill for his kids college education, he was going to have a word in what they chose to major in. He felt strongly about it and had already made them change their majors into something that he thought was practical and would earn them a living after college. Do you think a parent is justified in having the last word in what their kids decide to study if the parents are paying the bills or should the decision be left up to the kids?
I think the decision should be completely left up to the kid. How misguided a parent is for exercising that type of control and interference just because they are paying the bills. It's absurd parenting. In fact, it is very, very bad parenting to do this.
The parent has the final say in selecting a major for a child simply because he is bankrolling the education. If the parent is firm in making the decision for his child, there's no way the child can stop it.
Although it is not always the best parenting to make such large decisions for a child, it is certainly within a parents power to do so.
no you can't choose their major, only they can do that. You can stop bankrolling them if you really disapprove of their choice, however. Can't see doing something like that myself. It's their life.
I would tell any control freak parent to think of it this way: no, you aren't required to pay your child's college expenses should they choose a major you don't like, but just remember, your child is also not required to invite you to their wedding, let you see any future grandchildren, or take of you in your old age. just make sure you realize this if you insist on controlling your adult child's life and realize also that some kids will not stand for this and despise you forever. if you can live w/ your child hating you, then go ahead, rule their lives w/ your wallet
I go to an arts and media school and there are plenty of students who are getting financial help from their parents. I think it's great there are parents helping their kids pursue a dance, acting, writing, or directing degree. And a lot of the kids I know receiving financial help from parents aren't BSing their way through school; I know a lot of juniors who've already either gained experience in their field via internships, developed an impressive portfolio, or even been published and won awards.
if I ever have kids, I would absolutely help pay for college, regardless of the major. so long as they have a common sense plan for the future and aren't assuming that after graduating w/ a BA in acting, they'll be making as much money as Julia Roberts or Johnny Depp. all students, regardless of their chosen major, need to have a solid game plan in place before dropping god-only-knows-how-much money into a degree (it's amazing how many people I know or have heard of who pursued a pre-med major before realizing how long they'd be in school for, only to balk at the idea later on and not go through w/ it). obviously, a theater major will need to do more leg work into future careers than a pre-law major, but it's something all students should go over with their parents or solo
I think the decision of a college major should be up to the person that's going to be taking the classes and then earning a living in that field. Suggestions, opinions should be welcome, but everything else, including mistakes, has to be the students.
I think the parents needs to put a reality check on their "kids." Many college aged kids say 18-23 are ill equipped to know what to do in college to maximize their return on investment.
For example if one of my kids said I'm getting a science, esp. chemistry, degree or a BA I'd sure as heck refuse to pay and I wish my parents knew enough to do the same for me.
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Absolutely not
