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My parents gave me a better life by working hard and sacrificing to put more nutritious food on the table than their parents were able to give them, and sending me to better schools where I was challenged and put on the right track to getting into a good college where I could start my career off right, and by building a home in a good neighborhood where it was safe to play and develop a rich and healthy imagination.
I can't even comprehend a mentality where a 'better life' means spoiling a kid by filling their life with 'things' and not teaching them the value of hard work and sacrifice.
A lot of times when people say they want a better life, they mean they want more money. Am I wrong? Money can't buy happiness, but it can sure buy a lot of other stuff.
That is pretty intense. It also presents a situation that I don't think is the norm. On top of that I think it can be counter productive. Very few parents of young adults I know just let their grown children sit on their butts, and not do anything. Generally, they require some sort of plan, or action from their children. I imagine that no good parent just lets their kids flounder without encouraging them to get/search for a job/purpose. I remember after living on my own for a while after college I took the LSAT, and did well enough so that I would consider applying to schools. I was fortunate enough to have parents that let me stay with them for several months so I could save up enough money from my job to live off of for a while when I went back to school. My mother and father did the same when they were just starting out. The reason being that "independence" can be terribly wasteful in unnecessarily duplicating bills, at least when you are trying to build up a cash reserve so that you can take the next life step.
Exactly. My parents support me, but it's not like I sit around doing nothing. I'm a full time student. I'm working toward my Bachelor's degree.
You're right. Not all kids have cell phones. Not all kids have computers. And some households don't even have a computer.
But compared to your day, way more houses have computers, way more kids have their own computer, and way more kids have cell phones.
As I said, this puts pressure on parents to give their kids material goods or they look like a bad parent. But in your day, it was just expected that no kids (or households for that matter) had cell phones or computers. Parents these days don't need to buy so many material goods for their kids. But the pressure is there. In your day, there was no pressure. Wow! Are you KIDDING me?! In my day, there was no pressure!! LOL Son, you don't have a clue what you're talking about!
Sure, maybe clothing was expensive in your day, but it was a lot cheaper than all the material goods that so many kids these days have. Percentage of income spent on THINGS...no, no cheaper then!
And you know another reason why kids are more expensive these days? College. That's right, college. Once upon a time, you could get a job with a high school diploma and work your way up. But those days are over. These days, a college degree is necessary if you want any hope of being successful (but there are exceptions). This is the reason why so many parents support their kids during college these days. Believe it or not, we had college educations in my day, too! Yes, you could make plenty of money without a college education, but many, many parents sent their kids to college!
My parents are interested in teaching me how to live on my own without them. That's why I'm in college. My parents are willing to support me during college if it means I will be able to get a good job after college and support myself. If I never went to college, it would be hard to make enough money to support myself, so my parents would end up supporting me forever. Sure, they might save on college costs, but it would be more expensive in the long run.
When I say kids deserve the best, I'm thinking of what I want/wanted. I know I won't be able to provide that to my kids, so why have them? Right now, there are certain things I wish I could afford but can't. And my parents aren't willing to provide me with them, so I have no choice but to go without. I wouldn't want to live this way forever though (one of the reasons I'm in college...better job, better life). And my dad makes a lot of money. I don't expect to make anything near what he makes, so I would have to give my kids even less. Why should I put a kid through that?
If I had kids, I would suffer financially and the kid(s) would have a bad life growing up. That's a lose-lose scenario. I don't want to bring a kid into the world under those circumstances.
It's selfish to have kids if you want to be a miser toward them. If you don't want to spend much money on kids, then don't have kids in the first place. At least I admit I wouldn't be willing to spend money on kids so I'm never having them. That's good.... of course, you kind of have to be able to have a relationship in order to have a family anyway. That seems to be something you haven't had much luck in though, right?
It's manipulative when parents try to dictate the way their kids live and they say "if you don't like it, you can leave." Ummm fact of life my boy, fact of life! If you're the one paying all bills, you're the one who gets to call the shots! Ain't life grand! Kids are unable to support themselves so they have no choice but to live with their parents. Parents are taking advantage of the weak when they try to make their kids live a certain way. No, parents are not allowing inexperienced, entitled brats to run their lives...jeez, what a 10 year old sense of logic here! R U Kidding me!? Believe me, if the kids had a chance of supporting themselves, they would leave. It's not their fault that they're too young to support themselves.
My dad's retirement is not in jeopardy. He makes a lot of money and has a lot of stuff. I won't say his income, but he showed me what it is, and it's high.
I know someone that's 29 and relies on his parents just as much as me. And his parents don't have much money. They truly are missing out on retirement because they support their grown kid. My dad's not missing out on retirement. He's 44, so retirement is a ways off for him. But like I said, it's actually cheaper in the long run for him to support me during college because I'm less likely to need financial support from him when I'm older.
And if you want spoiled, here's spoiled: I know someone that's 30 and has rich parents. His parents support him and he has a big house all to himself.
And I'm not telling other people how to raise their kids. I'm just saying, from my point of view, how I think kids should be raised. And I'm admitting I wouldn't be able to raise them that way, so I'm not having them. Yeah, trust me, if you ever do have kids, and they come at you with this cockamamie logic, you'll LYAO!
And yes, my parents bought this laptop. But you know what? They wanted to buy me a new laptop for Christmas but I told them not to. I said I want to use this laptop until it dies.
Hey, I'm all for helping your kids out...being there for your kids while they're getting a start in life. I've got one living here who's shipping out to boot camp in 2 weeks and one who's attending college full-time. I'm all for being a supportive parent. My kids are extremely productive members of this family who pitch in every little bit they can. They are not entitled brats who are being enabled in any way. We have a large home, with plenty of bedrooms and living space. Why should they have to have their "own" place right now. It wouldn't be feasible financially. However, they don't run around with their friends or sit around playing on a computer all day, either. If they're not working or doing homework and studying, they are doing productive work on the property. They are learning and practicing skills that they're going to need when they get a place of their own. I'm not heartless, CD, but I don't hand needless things to my kids. Most of their "wants", they've had to earn the money and buy for themselves. That's MY idea of "giving" to my kids. There's an old saying, "Give a man fish and he eats for a day....Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime". (something like that). Believe me, we give to our children...we give the truly important stuff..love, support and knowledge!
A lot of times when people say they want a better life, they mean they want more money. Am I wrong? Money can't buy happiness, but it can sure buy a lot of other stuff.
Yes, you are wrong. It sounds like you have grown up in a very shallow superficial world of things and money and not much else. I'm sorry.
Exactly. My parents support me, but it's not like I sit around doing nothing. I'm a full time student. I'm working toward my Bachelor's degree.
"Working Towards"...
I first went to College over 10 years ago.
I went back a year ago.
It was AMAZING how 'dumbed down' everything is.
Excepting the 6 hours per summer term, I've taken/taking 15-19 hours per term, as well as collecting various certifications, seminars, and experiences.
It's MABY a part time job.
Backstory: I wanted to enlist, but my Grandparents talked me into going to school for a year. They paid for it and I got $50 a week.
Didn't like it. Wanted to support myself, GOt offered the ROTC scholarship at the end of the year and Enlisted insted.
Now I'm Medically retired and back in school.
I'll be 30 when I get my Masters, but It'll be without Debt, and without owing anybody anything, or living off anyone.
I see these kids living off their parents, thinking they are 'doing something' taking 12 hours, having NO concept of the real world etc.
I am against parents supporting kids through College because it just babies/shelters/spoils them and they have even MORE time before they grow up. (Exceptions, yes. but they are rare from what I see.)
If and when I have kids I'll give them the $ for one year of school.
They can go to school, learn a trade, or start a business with it.
Their choice. (Oh, and there's PLENTY of people without degrees, who start working at 18 and are doing FINE by the time they are 30)
Example:
You can: GO into debt, and get a business degree to run... lets say a Dominos pizza place, OR, if your a good worker you can get paid to work there for 4 years, and at the end of that time be up for your own store.
Now if you want to go to school for something technical, medical, legal etc...
Makes sense.
I talked to a chick last spring who majored in Spanish and German.
NO CLUE. (She was about to graduate... Momie and Daddy paid for everything)
Nother chick, friend of mine, she graduates this spring. She's AFRAID to do so b/c she will have to stand on her own feet for the first time.
Too bad her parents stunted her maturity by giving her a gas card they paid for (And everything else) rather than letting her 'live on her own' in an environment that would be forgiving when she screwed up!
-Smart girl, just not ready... Their fault.
This post right here...shows just how very child-like you really are CD.
I don't understand how that makes me childish. Elaborate.
If you're denying what you said, I can prove you really said it:
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
By the way.....it is absolutely NOT unrealistic for a 19 yr. old to support themselves these days. Perhaps it's unrealistic in YOUR eyes, for you to support yourself, but certainly not a responsible and frugal 19 year old who is willing to make sacrifices and work hard!
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel
The best according WHO? YOU? You're still a kid
There's the contradiction right there. Apparently it makes me childish to point out another poster's contradiction
And on another post, you said you see nothing wrong with supporting your kids while they're getting a start in life.
What is it? What are you trying to say? Is a 19 year old a kid? Or is a 19 year old a man that is capable of supporting himself? Kids don't support themselves. So if I'm a kid, then no, it's not realistic for someone my age to support himself.
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Kids are unable to support themselves so they have no choice but to live with their parents. Parents are taking advantage of the weak when they try to make their kids live a certain way. No, parents are not allowing inexperienced, entitled brats to run their lives...jeez, what a 10 year old sense of logic here! R U Kidding me!? Believe me, if the kids had a chance of supporting themselves, they would leave. It's not their fault that they're too young to support themselves.
